AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Carol Fowler, iLloyd Lofthouse, ikaren leung, iLaurie Conrad, iGeorge Cunningham, iPaul Ulasien, iJansen Estrup, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ed Matlack

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· 5,732 Titles
· 43,557 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
Unholy Domain
by Dan Ronco

A deliberately staged IT catastrophe leaves the world sunk into depression and the US government ineffectual. The secretive and powerful Domain, using organized crime to ..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Never Deep Fry in the Nude...2
by Ed Matlack
Tuesday, July 07, 2015
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow
Recent poems by Ed Matlack
•  This, my theory...
•  The pitfualls of self-help books...
•  Him...
•  The less I have, the more I have...
•  Be...
           >> View all 5,707

Oooooh, that smarts,
On my “special” parts…


Who’da thunk the oil,
Would actually boil,
And on my skin,
Like on clothing soil…

Left on my parts a welt,
As if I’d been beaten with a belt,
No that actually sounds kinda pleasurable,
You’d a laughed to see me run around,
Like, in a glass shop, a bull…

I couldn’t from neighbors seek help,
All I could do was with vigor yelp,
It did finally subside,
Across my “special” parts a swath wide,
In the future I will the directions abide,
Trust me I’ve not herein lied,
I mean I still have my pride,
Just no skin in “special” places,
Though I’ve found I can tie the flap of skin,
With from my sneakers, shoe laces…
© -ed- 7/7/15

Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by William Bonilla
Why are you cooking naked? Is that a new fad??
Thanks for the good laugh pal I needed that
Peace be with you

William
Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci
What an eye opener! I just woke up, got my coffee, and tuned in to the Den and what to my wondering eyes should appear? This priceless poem!!! LOL!!!!

Love ya!

Jane
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton
" I can tie the flap of skin," . . . huh?
Reviewed by Ruan Mills Burke
Yikes!
Definitely need a good sturdy apron for your kitchen.
Treat yourself to one this instant! :-)
Rx
Reviewed by George Carroll
Ouch!
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  Poet Up a Tree
  2.  Interaction
  3.  Halloween is Coming!
  4.  Mushmouth Kostro...
  5.  Missed again...
  6.  OMG, it's freakin' HOT...
  7.  Hello, I'm Mister ED...
  8.  Sunny Days and Mondays
  9.  SHRIMPY
  10.  The Thrill is Gone

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics satirizes and lampoons thirteen famous short fiction works that are given new adult spins...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.