... a state in which the muscles are frozen... the spirit is held... the mind is... locked. is there hope???
I languish here,
in the semi-grey
of some half-formed existence...
no longer whole;
simply a shadow without a host;
a mere remnant,
cast off long ago,
like random dust... blowing aimless in the wind
a feral spirit,
longing to find its other half...
desperate to touch again,
and to be touched again;
more deeply than the physical...
wary of the world at large;
weary of the search...
trapped within my own custom-crafted Hell...
imprisoned with the key...
inserted in the lock;
yet... not the strength to turn it...
beholden to the grip that holds me still...
frozen here in statis,
aching for even your faintest whisper
to loose my captive bonds...
here and always, I shall wait for you until...
your breath again releases me...
else I shall stay forever lost; restrained;
betrothed to memories that so deep... remain instilled.
Buy my first poetry anthology Whispers in the Wake
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|Reviewed by CHANTI LACE
|I can relate to this...stay safe and well.|
|Reviewed by Mor Inchrory
|I can relate to this poem, possibly not quite in the way that you intended.
I recently spent eight months in hospital two of which was on a life support machine after a minor hernia operation went seriously wrong and I was infected with MRSA, which quickly spread throughout my body eating holes in my intestines, I was literally dying.
After four major operations to remove the damaged areas, I went from a super fit person to a living skeleton, slipping in and out consciousness for months.
During that period, I could not move, and my mental state possibly due to the effects of the morphine was such that I honestly thought I was being processed for Hell, where the nurses tending me were speaking Polish.
You poem brought that intense feeling of inadequacy back to me.
I think the nurses even despaired on me ever recovering.
|Reviewed by Christine Tsen
|Beautiful in the extreme! The memories need to be released and you are doing that so exquisitely. We do weave our spirits into our beloveds, I know.
Blessings, Christine xo
|Reviewed by richard cederberg
|"trapped within my own custom-crafted Hell"... Indeed, many fall victim to this, Jeff. They just don't know it's a hell until it has sapped every bit of verve and resilience from them and they see themselves one day in the mirror hobbling and emaciated. There is much emotion grafted into the guts of this transparent and moving piece. Brought tears to my eyes. Look up! Hope is standing at the door. Peace to you...
|Reviewed by jude forese
|i enjoyed this personal rendition of a universal state of being ...|
|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|Reminds me of why like your poetry so much. Your loss is so elegantly portrayed and your failure to find any worthwhile "fish" in the endless sea, is so evident as to be heartbreaking. Reads like something that I have experienced… And that's a good thing.
|Reviewed by Morgan Merriweather
|There is truly nothing worse than feeling stuck. In any situation, but in particular, love.|
|Reviewed by Jerry Bolton
|I think most of us can relate to a point to this strong bit of writing. We we are in that almost Catatonia state of mind, rescue seems to be forever in coming.|
|Reviewed by Kate Burnside
|An achingly painful read and yet there is hope and aspiration within it, Jeff. It's agonising if we allow another to control our being - either physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. In the end we have to be honest with ourselves; do we actually wish ourselves free of that which binds us? As you say, the strength to turn that key is in your hands. A custom-crafted Hell the subject matter may be, but a deftly-crafted work of art this undoubtedly is; great rhyme and metre in the final lines. xx|
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|You may or may not believe this but I can completely relate to what you express through your verses here, Jeff. Although love is wonderful (romantic love too, of course), sometimes, life's circumstances in this world make the experience a most bittersweetly painful one. Love and peace to you,