The Traveler (for Tiffany Liu on her Birthday)
by Xian Horn
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This was a birthday present for my cousin this August. She says it's a lot to live up to. But, I know she already does!
She's an aspiring travel host and the brightest "cheering" light around! :) :)Sorry, everybody, I'm still corny as hell :}
She jumps as high as the moon we follow
uniting those who travel
to follow her
smile as wide and bright
as a dessert road
her snowy heart
like her skin
tanned by the days
of San Diego
She was born
on the brightest night
of her year
her joy to spread
world wide cheer !
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|Reviewed by Sandie May Angel-Joyce
|Hi Xian Hon:
Very nice of you to write a poem for your cousin's birthday. This is wonderful tribute!
One thing though...how can a snowy heart warms all like her skin? I don't understand this part.
A snowy heart is supposed to be cold, so how can it warm anything?
And to warm it like her skin is not a good comparison, which makes her skin seems as cold as the snowy heart.
Well...this is just my opinion. Thought I'd like to let you know.
Thank you for sharing your work with us!
Sandie Angel :o)