Did I try too hard
to push the square peg into the round hole once again?
(Do we ever try too hard, really?)
Did I send splinters into our hearts more?
That does haunt me and I ask You for relief; no matter how brief.

In the room without windows,
her Fate was sealed
without my permission.
I looked above your head to a poster that read,
"God forgives and forgets."

I had to really focus on that.
I smiled bravely through
all the pooh
of how intelligent she is
and what a whiz
in reading, writing but not arithmetic.

So that is why you stick
her away from you?

Don't tell me it is right.
We all know it is wrong.
Last I checked the first six letters in Christian is CHRIST.

Oh, dear Christian school
someone is being quite the fool
where is the Rule
that excludes a child?

I looked in all of your eyes
saw your nodding heads in pity
What an ignorant city
of meeting
except for the public school input.
(How cute!)
How ironic that their compassion
exceeded "yours".

They will be there for her
and "YOU" will be not
because of what?

My eyes filled with tears
I had sworn not to cry.
My heart was breaking
(Did you hear it?)

I thought of her sitting downstairs
awaiting her fate
like a prisoner who had committed a crime.
I thought of the long hour of time
she had to endure
the waiting to see
if she could just be free
to be herself.

I could feel her pain
and in my mind was already trying to explain
the rejection once again.

The twisting of your hair
will be around for awhile.
I tried my best, I pray
to be able to get you to stay.

This life for you has certainly not been play.

Oh, come Dear Jesus and explain
the quirks of men who make the rules
that run your School here on Earth.

Give me answers or at least give me mirth.

You will give us Peace
of that I am certain.
Thank God for you, God.
We are free at last
free from the past.

And when it pops up
I know You will push it down
and wash it away with Your salty tears of love
for this Child of Yours.
Rachael Caitlin
and all of the others,
and the Mothers
who hurt.

You hold us close to You gently.
And say, "Wait and you will see",
The answers do not matter for now
as we soak in Your love and kindness.

Should I pray for their blindness?

Why do I keep seeing marching blue eyed children with blonde hair
marching along
singing a song
all fitting in
excelling to win?

Maybe it's just my imagination
or some streak of past immigration
of time that once was.
A race that is rare
and extremely fair.

So sorry my song
is so long
but if you were here
you would not fear
to write volumes
or shout profanities loud
or call and yell,
"Hey, go to hell!"

Just kidding of course
we all are taking the same force
and shaping it our own way
and not His.

What WILL He say at the End?
"Hey, what was up with that story?
It did not give Me or My Father any Glory."

Oh, I presume too much
and worked too hard at lunch.
But don't regret the friendships that we made
at the school for the acclimated,
over-rated, accelerated, tie dyed
tears among the smiles.