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|Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart
|I like the first better, more concise but conveys the image well.|
|Reviewed by K. Mulroney
|Read perfect to me. The beat is right on target. Don't mess with perfecton!|
|Reviewed by Laura Mayer
|I agree with Fee, I like the flow and rhythm of the first stanza. Hope this helps.
|Reviewed by Felix Perry
|I like both versions but the first would be my preference, it has a nicer flow and rythem to it when read out loud.