I think everything will be all right. I'm a Pollyanna type,

But vulnerable to lots of things, especially marketing hype.

This Pollyanna business at times sets my psyche to fester,

‘Cause the Polly they say I ought to be is sucrose polyester.

Eat this stuff! No weight gain! It has all the nutrients I need,

No need anymore to buy plastic food with which my face to feed.

McDonald's and Whoopee Burger will go the way of all flesh,

The calories in this wondrous stuff won't with avoirdupois mesh.

Excuse me for thinking out loud. Isn't polyester what we wear?

If pressed, I'll have filet of pants.  Leave the cuffs all rare!

And when I fall off my diet and go on a culinary toot?

In the future it'll be done by eating my business suit.

Think of how easy it'll be to lose some weight on a diet.

It's always hard to start the thing. Now it'll be easy to try it.

A goal that's nicely achievable now is to lose 30 lbs. of fat?

I'll bet that I can do it easily or I will eat my hat.

Imagine being asked quite firmly, "Do you have any Grey Poupon?"

With an answer, "Yes, I do, but it's made by firm DuPont.

I guess that it'll be all right, Pollyanna that I am,

Excuse me while I calm my fears by eating polyester ham.

So what is your pleasure, fellow man? Today I'm buying lunch.

Diligently scan the menu for the specialty you'd like to munch.

Forgive me, but I think there is something drastically wrong

If the answer to the query above is "a nice, deep-fried 42 Long".

Copyright © 2013 by Frank Koerner