I sat in the auditorium swollen with pride, as I awaited my last youngster to graduate from high school. I was so joyful full of tears to see her so astonishingly beautiful wearing such a gracious smile, yet those joyful tears and swollen pride unexpectedly became heart-rending tears, as my eyes became swollen with unassuming nature pride, swollen with despondency, swollen with culpability when the overseer uttered those two words that smacked me right across the face, all in bad timing “the two words” “it’s time.
Time? Oh my god, time! I began to freeze back in time, freeze in consternation, and freeze with veracity, as my heart “in full swing” was pulsating with angst, as I wondered where in the world time went? It was the recent past that I pledged to take my daughter to the park when she was just a diminutive lass, and I forever and a day, had just one more day, to take her, one more assurance, one more tall tale “that’s what it was” one more lie, as here she was eighteen, and I “at a standstill “have thus far to take her to that park, to the shopping centre, to her links, and time no longer subsist.
Time, I thought, as I always had time for this, time for that, but time got away from me, and time is up, and my heart cried out for her. My heart cried out for me, as I had lost time, back in time, and I wouldn’t forevermore, get time back. All the kaput promises, I’ve for ever had time to execute, but I then recognized time never was, as it was yesteryear my father gave his word to take me to the park, and time got away from him, hitherto how could’ve that been, when time never was?
After the ceremonial, I sought after to be alone and think for a moment in time, as I went to an open meadow and parked myself up against an exceptionally large tree. The celebration went on “without me” inside my abode, as I sat there gazing about, plucking meadow out of the terra firma by the handful’s, and not taking in, what was really taking place, as I was at this juncture, at the present time, thinking I had time, to really think as I looked at the vast tree and knew it had to be centuries old. I wondered how many age bands had parked them’ up against that tree. I wondered how many stock have rubbed against that tree, but mostly wondered how many memoirs that tree had rubbed within it.
Time, I thought endlessly, as I wondered how I let time get away from me. I wondered how I could forevermore make-up for all the broken promises, not becoming conscious of the fact that time once again got away from me, as time never was, for the reason that the social gathering was over, and I missed time, as time just went on without me, but how could that be, when time never was?
I walked in the domicile, as my daughter had tears streaming down her cheek, and she asked me where I had been. As she articulated that query, I wondered where I had been for the most part, as I sure haven’t really “readily available” been there for her.
Time, where did it go? Where did I go, as I observed all the disconcerting sorrow? I wished I could go back in time and redo everything I had undone. I then started feeling how I could change everything. I would commence by means of my own teenage duration, as I would make sure I never took that first swig of alcohol. Make sure I made love to the man I was to marry “my children’s father’ instead of the fanatical man I gave my precious virginity to. When I had my children I would do everything, I “for all time” vowed to carry out for them and with them. As I reflected on this all, I looked in the mirror, and observed the mirror image of the reflecting aging process that time has taken away from me, or that time has really gotten away from me, or time has caught “in all reality” up with me, as I no longer was the young vibrant self, as I once was. I subsequently found myself losing time “once again” as I was thinking about time, and not realizing where time really was, as time really never was.
As I took my journey back in time, I found myself in a straight-line, thereafter I found myself lost, as if I hadn’t had been a drunk, I wouldn’t had ever met my husband, as that is how I met him, as I wanted someone to buy me alcohol, and came across this wonderful man, this wonderful man who fulfilled my wishes, but also at the same time, sobered me up for a lifetime, and then he became mine.
As I went back in time, not taken in that first swig of alcohol, I after that found myself not married to this wonderful man, so I erased that time of thinking, and decided to go for the innocence I gave up to a young man “for all the wrong reason” and give up my precious virginity “for all the right reason” to the wonderful man I would marry “and once again” I had to expunge that time from my reminiscence, as I found myself married to this man, but our children weren’t made in perfect timing, and the same children I had now no longer would exist. So I obliterated that time out of my mind. I thought thereafter at least I could take my youngster to the park, and do it in right timing, but then I had to come back in time, because I stopped to realize that whatever happened or didn’t happen that day could change my entire life, but past its best, I thought of this time, as I was letting time pass right on past me, as guilt overwhelmed my intellect, and it was time for bed “a matter of fact” all and sundry was in bed. After that I thought about the time I was thinking about time and the little time I spent with my entire family in those nighttime hours, and I found myself in the hour of darkness.
I kissed my daughter goodnight, as I told her I was so repentant, and subsequently abandon ship for bed, just to become conscious that I was out of time to even solicit my significant other for affection for the reason that it was almost time to get up, as time had “once again” got away from me, but once again, time never really was.
I cried myself to siesta and rouse “up and about” deciding to plan for the future. As I planned to do this, and planned to do that, I forgot about the present, and “once again” I got lost in time, as I was living in the past, living in the future, but forgot about the present, and what I could’ve done at the moment in time, the moment at hand to make time worth its while. I was living in the past, living for the future, but forgetting about living for today, and today “once again” has passed me by, as time has got away from me. I then come to realize I had to live each day for today, as if it were my last, and in good timing, I would find time, as it wasn’t that time never was, but time was what I made of it.