The Labors of Hercule..ha ha I say!

    More like the sweat of Miss Lemon

    For all that I do for Poirot every day!

    And with a sweep of my pen

    I have more power. I know what is what!

    And I say what's when!

    Poirot takes all the glory

    But that is another story!

    And I type all the papers

    He takes all the bows

    And I solve all those capers!

    He gets all the "wows"!

    And just think he's smart?

    That's a laugh I say

    Poirot is a stumphead

    I will prove it with ease

    He couldn't run this office

    To me it's a breeze!

    For the Labors of Miss Lemon

    Are labors in vain!

    Everything must be perfection

    To this detective's reflection

    The clues I do trace

    So Poirot wins the case

    But do I get the credit?

    The Labors of Miss Lemon

    Whodunit?

    I did it!!

    So who gets the praise?

    Poirot!

    Poirot points to more papers

    I must type up myself!

    Grrr....!!

    The Labors of Miss Lemon

    Running the office

    Tick tock

    It runs most efficiently

    Almost like a clock

        From morning to night

    This just isn't right

    I must ask for that raise

    One of these days!

    He thinks he's so clever

    He thinks he's so smart

    If I walked out that door

    The office would be falling apart!

    And he will be baffled completely

    I would smile so sweetly

    There will be no more hints

    On how to solve the case

    I know all the answers

    That's one you must face

    Just a simple thank you

    Once in a while would do

    Not screaming for your tea!

    And shouting at me too!

    Your files are perfection

    All cases are your selection

    You do the footwork

    And I, lower like a typist clerk.

    But let me make one thing

    Perfectly Clear

    These labors of Miss Lemon

    Words that rumble like thunder

    And fly out like birds!

    Five simple words that cut Like a knife.

    To serve a cheap boss like you Hercule

    A small pittance.

    Is a reward or disaster?

    I smile for you and say hello,

    I get you coffee before you go.

    I plan your day,

    I make things nice.

    You pay me back

    with cold and ice.

    But that's okay.

    That's nothing new.

    The weak are also cruel

    And you live by that rule.

    My labors of love

    Are labors of pain!

    Taking for granted,

    That my duties are clear

    From pressing his jackets

    To bringing him tea!

    And making appointments,

    Staying late nights

    To type up reports.

    Not one to be proud

    But Poirot is a bastard

    For crying out loud!

    He pays me a pittance

    For all that I do!

    Calling me in at all hours

    No please or thank you.

    Just do this or do that,

    Pushing my button with such power.

    It isn't easy smiling at him,

    He won't last a minute without me,

    The weak little man!

    A voice from the office,

    That bellows and shouts.

    Now get me my teasan!

    Retype this letter now,

    Or you'll see your ass out!

    No vacation for you, Miss Lemon.

    For you, there is no life!

    You are my secretary,

    You are my slave!

    I make the rules,

    So you better behave!

    One day Miss Lemon stays home.

    She did not show up at the office today.

    Poirot races around,

    Panic!!!

    Where is Miss Lemon?

    Try to figure it out!

    I need her right now!

    Stop that telephone ringing!

    Papers pile up!

    Just chaos about!

    The scene was amusing.

    The tables have turned

    Poirot admits.

    A ring on Ms. Lemon's doorbell.

    A tip of the hat.

    Hercule Poirot,  humble?

    Imagine that!

    A plea for help.

    A dozen roses.

    From the weak little man!

    Who thought I was nothing?

    And now I am grand?

    Oh, weak little master.

    How cruel you have been!

    Are you in a fix?

    Don't you know,  oh,  great detective, Hercule Poirot.

    That he Labors of Miss Lemon

    Were labors of love

    You took her for granted

    And you are a fool

    Go back to the office

    And cry at your desk

    Treasure those that help you

    And make that your rule

    Miss Lemon is going

    To take a long rest.

    Poirot will surely miss her

    She is one of the best!