I told my sista-friend that something awful was happening
And that I needed to talk to her about it.
But, what was happening was so painful
I knew I couldn’t speak the words out loud.
I who have been teased about falling asleep talking,
Waking up talking, talking when I should have been walking,
Couldn’t speak the words about what was happening.
What was happening was so painful, my terror was so deep,
That I had to write the words down.
I sat across the table from my sista-friend
Watching as she read the note I had written.
My thoughts were of yesterday;
A time when troubles seemed far away,
And I lived in a place where the things I valued were still real,
Where in spite of private disappointments and sometimes difficult accommodations,
Marriage still meant a safe place.
Where treachery might peer in a window,
But it dared not come in.
How does one verbalize that a place as safe as my marriage
Had come to an end—
Well…I had to write the words down.
Later—months and years later—I would actually feel glad to have gone through this.
To understand more fully the complications of love and accountability;
I would be glad for the chance I had to learn
About sadness and pain, healing and hope.
But as I sat across from my sista-friend,
With the sunlight illuminating the hand that held my note,
I was intensely aware that I was standing in a place
Existing in a time, where I would never be again.
I was leaving the place where the things I valued had existed.
And as I made my exodus, here’s what I remember most;
I remember because I wrote the words down:
My sista-friend finished reading my words, she touched my hand
And wordlessly, tears fell from her eyes.
That is the gift that she gave to me that day—
Wordless tears of empathy.
My sista-friend—a heart so generous that she wept for me.
Her tears were like hands that were reaching out.
Without the use of words she let me know
That the pain I felt, the struggle ahead, was not mine alone.
How does one verbalize the comfort and courage
That came with such a connection…
Well, I had to write the words down.
Neidre Mychals is an insightful writer and a results-producing LifeStyle Coach. Her focus is on encouraging adult women who lack relationship-support, and providing the know-how to overcome life challenges. She writes with great sensitivity, and is the author of nine books, including the Guidebook for LifeStyle Coaching. Her work can be viewed online at: www.wisesisterscircles.com.