by Linda Bergman-Althouse
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Not rated by the Author.
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The rain I love pounds too heavy in my head,
Drenching every thought with tears.
I care nothing about rhyme, reason or rule,
For this is the day that nobody wants.
She laughs with me still, not knowing.
The year made promises it could not keep,
Enabling my pretending for months,
Avoiding the day that nobody wants.
Conversation is clear, justifying no need,
Then, “you are who?” her memory can’t feed.
She pats my hand still, not knowing.
So this day has come that nobody wants.
True titles not spoken, substitutes each hunts;
Rehabilitation, New Living, Alternative Care.
Can she measure love unbound behind a soft stare?
She eats with us still, not knowing.
The damn day has come that nobody wants!
We smile away pain and speak of new friends,
Wonderful adventures to which she ascends.
Her oldest churns helpless, shoulders guilt draped.
Will I forever feel wretched without an escape?
She prays with us still, not knowing.
The inevitable staved off with welcomed shared sunsets.
For time’s generosity, I render thanks and my debt.
Will Peruvian Lilies remind her who we once were?
When she winks at the nurse and calls her me,
I’ll try not to hurt, this life wound bleeds the way it will be.
She hugs me still, not knowing.
She kisses me still, not knowing.
She waves at me still, not knowing.
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|Reviewed by Linda Bergman-Althouse
|Thanks Fee. I've been consumed this past year with helping Mom live as she wished, independently. She just couldn't realize how much care she really needs. It's a wonderful facility (they call it "A Village," with a gracious, caring and sensitive staff. It's a beautiful environment with lots of amenities that register with me, but I don't think she takes all that in. Sometimes she understands why she's there and other times, not so much, but she's already quite taken with the activity room and doesn't want to be bothered when she's painting. : ) Visits will happen often. Thanks again for your insight and support.|
|Reviewed by Felix Perry
|The decision to place a loved one in a home or special facility is often the most difficult one we may make in our lifetime. It is never taken lightly and in most cases it is in the best interest of the ones we vow to cherish. The placement in such a facility is though not the issue so much as will we find or make the time to go there every opportunity we have to visit them and let them know they have not been deserted. I often complained of the time my wife spent visiting each night and weekend with her mother in such a place, but the truth is the woman passed away this summer and was never forgotten even for one day.