From "Purple Hats and Pink Tutus" by Betty Nadine Thomas
She stood in the kitchen saying,
My ears are on fire
My neck is burning
I'm sweating all over
I think I'm going nuts
I want a candy bar, a blanket,
I want to cry
I want to scratch your eyes out
and use them for bowling balls
Welcome to menopaws,
Ain't it great.
She started crying
then climbed into the refrigerator
with her blanket and baseball bat.