I Love You Forever - Forever My Child

I am big and tall.
I am healthy and strong.
You are my world, 
and I am yours.

My laughter rings in your ears                          
like singing angels. 
As your face shines with a light 
that doesn't exist before I come home.

I want to surprise you.
I need to sweep you into my arms,
kiss your chubby cheek while you giggle sweetly,
as my heart swells and breaks. 

You wait in the hall.
The first face I see after being away.
Sadness is your shadow and 
I watch as you look into my eyes.

You leap to your feet and
my arms ache to hold you. 
Your excitement makes your legs
unsteady while you run.

"Daddy!" you cry. "Daddy!"
as you race down the hall. 
The words pierce my heart.
I've been away so long.

I don't want my life
to be this way. 
I want to be with you
everyday.

Light reflects off your ponytail,
as you run toward me.
Bouncing up and down on your tiptoes.
You never walk--you always bounce.

I hug you close and 
bury my head into your shoulder,
breathing the sweet newness of youth.
You whisper, "I love you, Daddy."

You take my finger into your hand, 
and give it a gentle tug.
It is still a baby's hand,
with dimpled creases marring smooth soft skin.

My heart fills to overflowing.
How can I tell you how much I love you?
How proud I am of you?
How honored I am to have a child such as you?

Life has given a special joy to your feet,
and since life will never hold you down,
you never seem--
to quite touch the ground. 

Joy returns to the house,
light, laughter, loud voices,
and song.
We live for the time we have together.

But it is only for a time.
Such a  short time.
For I...
Must leave this life.

Your mother on the other end of the phone,
begs, "Talk to Daddy!"
You say, "I love you sweet and tender
and I love you tender and sweet."

I can see your small hands
covering your mouth,
as you giggle our favorite saying.
"When are you coming home Daddy?" 

I listen intently as you laugh,
blessedly unaware of life changes.
"He'll be home soon," Mother whispers.
I can hear you, though they say I am dying.

I smile as I imagine you stomp down the hallway
as you do when you are upset.
Your heels lead the way and not your toes
when you are angry.

A flick of your ponytail,
a wink of your eye,
melts me and makes me your own.
I think, Good-bye my child.

I told you I would always come home.
I told you I would never leave for long.
I did not mean to tell you lies. 
I believed the words when they were said.                            

Please don't let the bounce leave your step.
Don't let the smile or the giggle or grin
leave your lips because
I am gone.

For I am the wind that tickles your cheek. 
I hide in the scent of sweet new grass, and
I stand next to you as you grow,
guiding and leading from a far off land.

I enter your dreams when I can,
touch your face if God wills.
My heart will go with you wherever you travel,
and my love will set the sail of your ship.

And though I couldn't say good-bye,
I ached to tell you.
Some day I will say what couldn't be said
when life passed us by,

I love you forever,
forever my child...