David A. Schwinghammer
· Soldier's Gap
· Mengele's Double, Chapter 9
· Seminary Boy, a memoir
· Fisher of Men, Chapter Nine
· Soldier's Gap, Chapter Three
· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Nine
· Fisher of Men, Chapter 8
· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Eight
· Mengele's Double, Chapter Eight
· Bereavement Blues
· Fisher of Men, Chapter 7
· The Wilderness of Ruin, book review
· A Beautiful Mind, book review
· Another Planet, book review
· The Three Stooges, book review
· The God Particle
· Empire of Sin, book review
· Science at the Edge, book review
· Obama, a Modern Caesar?
· Americans Need to Pull Together
· Voices of the French Revolution, book review
· Widow's Peak
· Alumni Game
· Girls Who Wear Glasses
· The Do Drop Inn
· Ode to Neve Campbell
· Jacks or Better 101
· Never My Love
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What I noticed at the Academy Awards.
Here we are at the Academy Awards with the ghost of Joan and Melissa
We’re on the red carpet, asking all the same dumb questions
You know what they are. What are you wearing, Reese?
Reese, a snarky little thing, says Osh Gosh BeGosh and
They kick her off the carpet and work her over with brass knuckles
the commentators start a poll about who they think should win Best Picture
Forty-six percent say “American Sniper,” the ignorant louts
Once the real action starts, Patricia Arquette wins for “Boyhood,”
thanks her husband without whom she couldn’t have done it; she
even thanks her parents, actors one and all, but she doesn’t thank her
grandpa, Cliff, more commonly known as Charlie Weaver from Hollywood
Squares, real name, Cliff Arquette, maybe because he’s as dead as Joan
Then Patricia does something we didn’t expect; she’s not the Jane Fonda
type; she makes a little speech about women’s rights and gets a standing
O, from all the lefties in the crowd. Even Meryl shakes her fist in support
A gay boy wins for best script based on a previous work; he has
the tear jerker moment of the evening, says he tried to commit suicide
when he was sixteen, says he felt he just didn’t fit in; for some reason he
talks to the girls who might feel the same way and tells them that yes they
do count; they just need to hang in there and maybe some day they’ll win
an Oscar, too, or discover cold fusion; hey, Madame Curie discovered
radium, so why not? So what if it killed her! We all gotta go sometime.
Doogie Howser was the M.C. I must say he hasn’t changed a bit, but
he did mispronounce David Oyellow’s name, which to some was a mortal
sin. And if you’re wondering why Sean Penn called the Mexican director
a son of a bitch, it’s because they’re friends in real life. Almost forgot, last
year’s winner of best supporting actress was wearing a dress decorated
with real pearls; it must’ve weighed more than she did; she’s a little slip of
Dave Schwinghammer's unconventional mystery, SOLDIER'S GAP, is available on Authorsden and at Amazon.com, new and used.
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|Reviewed by CHANTI LACE
|well done indeed...Hugss|
|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|Your observation is keener than a Swiss Army knife and your writing is filled with sardonic satire and endless wit. I had a couple of those thoughts, but to put them in a poem like you have is priceless as a limitless credit card.
I sure hope you been able to publish this in other places. You could make the talk show circuit with some of these quips.
David A. Schwinghammer