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David A. Schwinghammer

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Member Since: Dec, 2007

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· Soldier's Gap

Short Stories
· Mengele's Double, Chapter 9

· Seminary Boy, a memoir

· Fisher of Men, Chapter Nine

· Soldier's Gap, Chapter Three

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Nine

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 8

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Eight

· Mengele's Double, Chapter Eight

· Bereavement Blues

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 7

· Flights of Passage, book review

· The Lusitania, book review

· The Wilderness of Ruin, book review

· A Beautiful Mind, book review

· Another Planet, book review

· The Three Stooges, book review

· The God Particle

· Empire of Sin, book review

· Science at the Edge, book review

· Obama, a Modern Caesar?

· Widow's Peak

· Myth

· Alumni Game

· Stradivarius

· Snow-a-holic

· Girls Who Wear Glasses

· The Do Drop Inn

· Ode to Neve Campbell

· Jacks or Better 101

· Never My Love

         More poetry...

David A. Schwinghammer, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

by David A. Schwinghammer
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by David A. Schwinghammer
•  Widow's Peak
•  Myth
•  Alumni Game
•  The Do Drop Inn
•  Stradivarius
           >> View all 12

What I noticed at the Academy Awards.


Here we are at the Academy Awards with the ghost of Joan and Melissa

We’re on the red carpet, asking all the same dumb questions

You know what they are. What are you wearing, Reese?

Reese, a snarky little thing, says Osh Gosh BeGosh and

They kick her off the carpet and work her over with brass knuckles

the commentators start a poll about who they think should win Best Picture

Forty-six percent say “American Sniper,” the ignorant louts

Once the real action starts, Patricia Arquette wins for “Boyhood,”

thanks her husband without whom she couldn’t have done it; she

even thanks her parents, actors one and all, but she doesn’t thank her

grandpa, Cliff, more commonly known as Charlie Weaver from Hollywood

Squares, real name, Cliff Arquette, maybe because he’s as dead as Joan

Then Patricia does something we didn’t expect; she’s not the Jane Fonda

type; she makes a little speech about women’s rights and gets a standing

O, from all the lefties in the crowd. Even Meryl shakes her fist in support

A gay boy wins for best script based on a previous work; he has

the tear jerker moment of the evening, says he tried to commit suicide

when he was sixteen, says he felt he just didn’t fit in; for some reason he

talks to the girls who might feel the same way and tells them that yes they

do count; they just need to hang in there and maybe some day they’ll win

an Oscar, too, or discover cold fusion; hey, Madame Curie discovered

radium, so why not? So what if it killed her! We all gotta go sometime.

Doogie Howser was the M.C. I must say he hasn’t changed a bit, but

he did mispronounce David Oyellow’s name, which to some was a mortal

sin. And if you’re wondering why Sean Penn called the Mexican director

a son of a bitch, it’s because they’re friends in real life. Almost forgot, last

year’s winner of best supporting actress was wearing a dress decorated

with real pearls; it must’ve weighed more than she did; she’s a little slip of

a thing.

Dave Schwinghammer's unconventional mystery, SOLDIER'S GAP, is available on Authorsden and at, new and used. 

Mystery Writer

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Reviewed by CHANTI LACE 3/31/2015
well done indeed...Hugss
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 2/25/2015
Your observation is keener than a Swiss Army knife and your writing is filled with sardonic satire and endless wit. I had a couple of those thoughts, but to put them in a poem like you have is priceless as a limitless credit card.

I sure hope you been able to publish this in other places. You could make the talk show circuit with some of these quips.


Books by
David A. Schwinghammer

Soldier's Gap

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  1. courage
  2. Life and a Love
  3. I'm So Happy
  4. Water Baby
  5. The Usual Infirmities
  6. Beach Bum
  7. in honor of
  8. It Came Out From The Fog
  9. Poetry Causes Insightfulness
  10. Unreachable Expectations
  11. Contemplation
  12. We Were One
  13. I Wish I Could Tell You...
  14. Poem: You Made Me Rot
  15. Our Choices
  16. Begin Again
  17. Recovery
  18. Fancy Tree
  19. Blue Morpho
  20. New Life

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