I miss you so much…
I wish things were different
That we both felt the same
That you had answered my letter
Said you loved me too
I would be there right now
But you didn’t…
I am here
You are there
Alone, struggling, unsure
All I can do is offer you words of
From a distance
Loving you is too painful
Wanting you too frustrating
Needing you futile – pointless
Some things just aren’t meant to be
But in the wee hours of the night
And early in the morn
It is me you call for comfort
Across telephone lines for
Distant reassurances and infusions of hope
All of the trappings of love without love itself
How did it ever come to this?
How did I come to this place…
Where this shell, this farce
Plays a poor imposter to love?
What I would not give to have the love
The life I have so long desired…
Why would God plant this hunger in my soul, and leave me empty?
I have no answers only loneliness and longing, hunger and unrequited passion.
I cannot go on like this much longer…
Every part of me is becoming brittle
Soon there will be nothing
But the faint memory of desire
And that too will fade
Leaving a zaftig husk that will gratefully crumble
Returning to the dust
Free at last from the unrelenting, ravenous craving
For what has always… always eluded me.