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Lisa A Stafford

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Member Since: Mar, 2008

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Cold Comfort ©
by Lisa A Stafford
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Not rated by the Author.
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Recent poems by Lisa A Stafford
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           >> View all 14

Cold Comfort

 
I miss you so much…
I wish things were different
That we both felt the same
That you had answered my letter
Said you loved me too
I would be there right now
With you
Helping you
Loving you
But you didn’t…
I am here
You are there
Alone, struggling, unsure
All I can do is offer you words of
Encouragement
From a distance
Loving you is too painful
Wanting you too frustrating
Needing you futile – pointless
Some things just aren’t meant to be
But in the wee hours of the night
And early in the morn
It is me you call for comfort
Cold comfort
Across telephone lines for
Tacit touch
Distant reassurances and infusions of hope
All of the trappings of love without love itself
How did it ever come to this?
How did I come to this place…
Where this shell, this farce
Plays a poor imposter to love?
What I would not give to have the love
The life I have so long desired…
Why would God plant this hunger in my soul, and leave me empty?
I have no answers only loneliness and longing, hunger and unrequited passion.
I cannot go on like this much longer…
Every part of me is becoming brittle
Soon there will be nothing
But the faint memory of desire
And that too will fade
Leaving a zaftig husk that will gratefully crumble
Returning to the dust
Free at last from the unrelenting, ravenous craving
For what has always… always eluded me.

 

 

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Reviewed by Blacke Rose
Nice!!
Reviewed by Anthony Rando
Lisa,


This poem is powerful and emotional to read. I can feel your pain through the words of this poem. I especially liked "Why would God plant this hunger in my soul, and leave me empty?" Questioning are belief for an answer to our question shows the passion in words.

I believe poems are a way of expressing our deepest feelings to the world. I enjoyed your work and I look forward reading future poems from you.

God Bless,
Anthony F. Rando
Reviewed by Lena Kovadlo
I think this is a great poem and it has a lot of emotion. I would break it up into stanzas though. This would make it more presentable and perhaps even easier to read.

This poem is free-verse (if I am correct) and so line length can vary but I'd still watch out for very long lines, especially if most of the lines are rather short. Either way it is best to not have long lines as short lines are more effective.

Not sure how you intend this poem to be read but if it is meant to be read with a pause at the end of each line then ending lines with words like 'of' or 'for' breaks the flow of the piece, hence making the read not 100% smooth. Reading the poem without pausing at the end of each line, however, doesn't seem to ruin the flow for me. Still I would not end lines with words like 'of' or 'for' or 'the' and the like.

Also watch out for the typo in the following line: "I can not go on like this much longer…" can not should be cannot.

As poets and writers we at times use phrases that are either too common or overused and therefore are not as original as we could be with our writing. I am guilty of this too. It is best to stay away from those. A phrase you used in your poem "aren’t meant to be" is an example of that. Perhaps you can try to reword it to make it more original.

In my opinion I think the line you used “How did it ever come to this?” is actually not needed as the line that follows after it “How did I come to this place…” works very well, making that first line take up unnecessary space.

I hope I have been of some help here. I enjoyed reading this poem and thanks for sharing it. And oh please keep on writing.

All the best,

Lena
Reviewed by jude forese
emotionally stimulating and profoundly real ...
Reviewed by Regis Auffray
I can relate, Lisa. Very moving and expressive. Love and best wishes,

Regis
Reviewed by Lisa Cliffe
That was beautiful, honest, raw and pure.
Reviewed by Eric Watford
A wonder look behind the mask of love for convience that exposes the human effects of playing love games
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