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Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

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Member Since: Dec, 2001

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elevator
by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Monday, March 08, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.
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           >> View all 3,280

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*CRUNCH*
.
.
what was that   o great i'm stuck
hello
anyone there            just my luck
HELLO
elevator's               stuck on four
let me out
ac-tu-al-ly be           tween floors
LET ME OUT
let  me  out      please let me out
i'm trapped
can you hear me  scream & shout
I'M TRAPPED
i can't escape     hemmed in tight
let me out
o dammit        there go the lights
GET ME OUT
deep darkness press  es me down
i can't breathe
in my fear i            think i'll drown
i  can't BREEEATHE
i can't get out        need some air
i'm dying
can one die if      they are scared
I'M DYING
please someone     open the door
let me out
can't handle this           any more
LET ME OUT
*please*

(C) Copy written, 2004, by Karla Dorman.

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Reviewed by Simon Thurlow (Reader) 3/12/2004
LOL...this appealed to my 'weird' sense of humour. Nice write
Reviewed by Franz Kessler 3/9/2004
Great, imaginative composition. Very consciously portrays the emotions we undergo in a panic situation. Nice job, Karla. Franz
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 3/9/2004
You, my dear Karla, are the very soul of clever.. with a capital "C"... what a read... what an EXPERIENCE! You had me
so involved I felt panic. This isn't just writing, it's truly cool expression! ("cool" being another "C" word.. smile). What
a mind you've got... Jaysus! katy xox.
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 3/8/2004
Scary thought, I would hate that! Excellent Karla!

Reindeer
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) 3/8/2004
HAHA OH NOw this is clever......
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 3/8/2004
Yikes....fearful moment!!

Hat elevators.....that liftoff/down....leaves an awfull feeling in my stomach and head!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 3/8/2004
Karla:

Scary thought being stuck in an elevator, ugh not something I want to experience...
God Bless
~Michelle~
Reviewed by Cherry Pie (Reader) 3/8/2004
Could feel the fear ............ great write
Reviewed by E T Waldron 3/8/2004
Karla you portray this drama well instilling fear in the reader of being caught in a similar position. Wonderful write and interesting form!
Reviewed by Gaylen Sharp 3/8/2004
I really liked this one a lot. I however enjoy small dark places. Still a great write.
Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse (Reader) 3/8/2004
Oh I love the form Karla...great job...
this has happened to me...I was with another
lady and she panicked...I could just feel
the fear again...great write...floria
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 3/8/2004
(((Karla)))

This is too cool; love the way you added visuals to your poem; can actually see the PERSON trapped in the elevator! This gives the poem new depth and meaning! BRAVA! Your creative nature is taking off with a bang, and it is exciting to see! Very well done; thoroughly enjoyed~

(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by William Bonilla 3/8/2004
been there done that too
scary
loved your write

William
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 3/8/2004
Great capture of the fear of this situation!



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