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Ed Matlack

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Outhouses of Old
by Ed Matlack

Sunday, March 28, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Outhouses, a constant source of pictures for this writer...guess I have a thing for poop, LOL

Outhouses of Old…


No, not for the old, although they know what their use,

Used very little anymore I would have to assume,

Never have I done so, used one in kind,

Hope I never will, their usage passed with time…


Splinters in my butt I do not want,

Less KY can be used like the doc, putting in a shunt,

Cannot imagine my self running out into the cold,

To take a pee or poop, in the middle of a snow storm,

Better to us a bucket & squat where it is warm…


Old outhouses are just there to look at, to bring back memories,

To wonder what it is under it so dank & dark,

Is it a place for the creatures of the dark to flourish?

Getting their sustenance from the left-overs there to nourish, 

Not my kind of meal, definitely not,

Hard to believe, as I do mostly eat anything, or so I wish…

     © ed –3/28/04



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Reviewed by m j hollingshead 3/28/2004
chuckle, neighbor kid got bitten on fanny by a black widow in one when we were kids

ah, memories
Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse (Reader) 3/28/2004
Oh yes picnics we go to at the lake...
they are always there and I hate them...but..
the new fangled ones that are all plastic or
fibreglass are really clean and much better...
but this is a nice piece of nostalgia and I am
glad I got to see of the
older husband dropped his wallet
in one once....we never did get it...hahahahaha.....
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 3/28/2004
I can be proud in saying I used some outhouses in my life....and I was conered by a snake once...and the damn Daddy long leg spiders....grrrrrr....I had this mission of alway counting how long "it" takes to make "its" drop!! Therefore we call it a "LONGDROP" instead....heheheh....Another well written pooH write!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Susan Sparks (Reader) 3/28/2004
Ed, so you have a thing for outhouses! So do I! I collect pictures of them. They are really hard to find these days--quickly becoming a rotting memory of the good-old-days. I'm going to put some on a CD and email them to you. I can't believe you've never gotten a splinter from a good old wooden shitter! Where you been all yer life, anyways? Most people kept a pot in the house to use at night and in the cold of winter--we did also. Ever seen an old chamberpot? Go to some antique stores and you're sure to find one!
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 3/28/2004
Jaysus, Ed.. you weren't kidding, were you.. just writing like mad today, are ya? Today seems to be "outhouse day" around the old den.. or is it just all the "Ed's" ? LOL. Leave it to Ed K to give us a lovely tutorial on outhouses here.. hehe. All I can say for you, Mr. Ed, what next?! You're definitely on a 'roll'.. katy xox.
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 3/28/2004
I am stunned, Ed. I cannot believe you have never experienced 'the rustic charm' of an old handcrafted outhouse. I cannot even recall the total number of times I have used them - all across our great land.

Since you seem interested, here's a little Outhouse Trivia: Originally, the women's outhouses had the crescent moons carved on the doors, and the men's outhouses had a sun carved on them. The men, of course, didn't take care of their outhouses, and theirs soon fell over or apart; so the wise old men, began using the women's!

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