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Raphael is no Angel

Dear Raphael, farewell,
I’m leaving home, but before I go,
I thought you should know,
I washed all your Wool suits in hot
water and dried them on high heat.
They’re very clean now and don’t
smell a bit like woman’s perfume…

The Victoria Secret receipt
I found for woman’s lingerie,
that I never received, don’t worry,
I know you meant them for me.
so, I maxed out all your cards,
but I can’t find the bills…

Oh yeah,
at the Christmas party last night,
I mentioned to your boss
how dedicated you are
to be working such long hours,
well into the night, he said
his wife works long hours too,
then he got a really strange look
on his face, I think he’s going to give
you a promotion…

Umm, I forgot to mention,
when I came back from vacation
two weeks ago, I found a silver
necklace in our bed, it’s not mine.
So, I posted a message on the
lost and found board at your office.

Someone called and left a message
today, of course I called back and a
Detective Hunter answered the phone,
he said he’d be over later
to get his wife’s necklace back.

Oh, and one more thing, don’t worry
about all those long business trips you took,
leaving me all alone to try and fix the
garbage disposal and the leaky pipes,
I figured it out. I just unscrewed
those old things and threw them away.
There’s water damage on the entire
first floor, is that supposed to happen?

Well Raphael, farewell,
it’s been hell,
but now I’m going
to have fun!

Remember, what comes around, goes around!
(...though revenge is never a good thing!)