Raphael is No Angel
by Anne-Margaret McElroy
Tuesday, March 19, 2002
Print Save Become a Fan
Raphael is no Angel
Dear Raphael, farewell,
Iím leaving home, but before I go,
I thought you should know,
I washed all your Wool suits in hot
water and dried them on high heat.
Theyíre very clean now and donít
smell a bit like womanís perfumeÖ
The Victoria Secret receipt
I found for womanís lingerie,
that I never received, donít worry,
I know you meant them for me.
so, I maxed out all your cards,
but I canít find the billsÖ
at the Christmas party last night,
I mentioned to your boss
how dedicated you are
to be working such long hours,
well into the night, he said
his wife works long hours too,
then he got a really strange look
on his face, I think heís going to give
you a promotionÖ
Umm, I forgot to mention,
when I came back from vacation
two weeks ago, I found a silver
necklace in our bed, itís not mine.
So, I posted a message on the
lost and found board at your office.
Someone called and left a message
today, of course I called back and a
Detective Hunter answered the phone,
he said heíd be over later
to get his wifeís necklace back.
Oh, and one more thing, donít worry
about all those long business trips you took,
leaving me all alone to try and fix the
garbage disposal and the leaky pipes,
I figured it out. I just unscrewed
those old things and threw them away.
Thereís water damage on the entire
first floor, is that supposed to happen?
Well Raphael, farewell,
itís been hell,
but now Iím going
to have fun!