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Erica Ivory

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Member Since: Dec, 2002

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Pain Seeker That I Am....remix
by Erica Ivory

Sunday, April 18, 2004
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Erica Ivory
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           >> View all 376

reposted/remix
Journey Through Shadows
ECA teenage years





Pain seeker that I am

I take the razor

Slice my skin.

Watch the blade cut,

Yet, I don't feel a thing

So I do it deeper

Again

Pain seeker that I am,

Take the lighters flame.

Then hold it near my skin…

Watching

See the blister

Smell flesh burn,

Yet, it still does not

Cover this pain

Within

Pain seeker that I am,

I see old scars

From blades and burns.

Some lessons are never learned.

I know all this sounds insane.

Trying to end my life

with one slice of a vein.

Ironically,

Death was not always my goal.

Most of the time it was to

simply let go.

Feel the physical pain…

Cover the scars that are not seen..

The ones on the inside..

Blood thirsty dreams

The pain within is the worst by far…

Worse than razors!

Worse than fire!

It is an eternal pain

Tiny blades to my heart..

Blood flowing slowly

Filling my soul with every drop..

Memories and emotions

That won't let me be.

That is my torment eternally

After all

I am

The seeker of pain--

See the me of the past.

---the girl over there.

Bandaged arms--

Strawberry hair

The one with no face--

A number

A case

She has no family

Doesn't want friends.

Just another girl

In the system of

Warehoused children.

How those years

Continue to haunt 

To this day.

Feeling so unwanted

Scared

Alone

Guilty and imprisoned.

For what?

She doesn't know--

A girl with no face

No name--

That child-- that girl--

That seeker of pain.


 


 


 





 

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Reviewed by Amira van Kerk 7/21/2004
Powerful write.
Excellent.
Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 4/20/2004
Erica...sad but very realistic write....YOu will find solace soon ...dont u worry....cheers...love n luck....BHUWAN
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 4/18/2004
Mecond wife sefe harmed, did it with my stanley knife, never seen him since in four years, ex wife uses excuse I may let someone else do same.

She was an attention seeker, bloody court say she has point, nope they just prefer women to men, but cost me four years of strife.

But this is allegory and great that is, well done babe...
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 4/18/2004
(((erica)))

(((HUGS))) painful, powerful write--BRAVA! multi-layered depth of emotion

love, karla. :(
Reviewed by Zenith Elliott 4/18/2004
Power filled write, Erica! This is so very stirring, I wish you peace and strength, Never Give Up! ~Z~
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 4/18/2004
Powerful Erica!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 4/18/2004
Powerfully emotive and meaningful. Thank you, Erica. Love and peace to you. Regis
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) 4/18/2004
Powerful verses Erica......
Reviewed by jude forese 4/18/2004
sometimes we seek what we dispise and fear for it is the only thing that we can focus on ... sometimes we should try focusing on something different like the beauty within our souls ...

powerful write!
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 4/18/2004
Erica:

I hope you will find peace within yourself very soon. This was sad and heartfelt.

~ Sandie Angel a.k.a. May Lu ~



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