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uppalapati Lakshmi Prasanthi

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Popular Poetry (Crafts/Hobbies)
  1.  Taken its Toll...

Basket Ball, a Game.
by uppalapati Lakshmi Prasanthi

Monday, March 25, 2002

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Basket Ball is the game, which has drawn full fame
When anyone picks the ball,
pindrop silence will be in the hall.

Whether it reaches the goal
or slips on the floor

players are in tension and
viewers under attention

player's determination, gives very much
physical and mental exercise
frames the expertise.

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Reviewed by satish 4/6/2002
Its a good poem...but I cant suggest some modifications in the poem as I m not a poet...
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 3/25/2002
I've often like to watch a good basketball game.

I think your poem would be better if you can make the second half of the first line be a 2nd line for this poem.

I think your poem was quite good, it rhymes, right up to almost the last two lines. However, you have somehow lost the rhyme scheme on the last 2 lines, perhaps a little re-work can make this a perfect rhyming poem.

Just my humble opinion.

Thank you for posting and sharing.

Sandie Angel :o)
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