Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
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Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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>> View all 3,276
* FICTION *
the woman that U thought U knew
has kept somethin secret hidden from U
she don't want 2 relive the pain
she don't want 2 to go thru it all again
why she break down in tears sometime
what happen 2 her long ago a crime
daddy rape her when she was 8
she was forced 2 grow up & learn 2 hate
she ran away when she was 10
the mean ole city streets were her playpen
she started drinkin takin dope
it was the only way that she could cope
she got in trouble . 13
she had a little girl her name yasmeene
she had 2 give the child away
ain't heard from her since three years ago may
when she was 16 went 2 jail
she had 2 turn life around without fail
or she'd go 2 an early grave
she had 2 learn courage how 2 B brave
she went 2 rehab brand new life
met someone he ask her 2 be his wife
they were happy & then he died
a widow now she'd just Bcome his bride
she was new on the dating scene
most of the men she met were quite obscene
all they wanted was sex sex sex
she wanted more than that so they all left
then U arrived in2 her world
treated her right she Bcame a new girl
y'all got married a fresh new start
she is so afraid it will fall apart
she's scared U will find out the truth
cause of what happen 2 her in her youth
she's afraid U will leave her 2
it has happen B4 B nothin new
how i know so much bout her life
cause i lived it baby this WAS my life
U see, U just THOUGHT U knew me
i ain't the strong woman U think U see
welcome to my reality
(C) Copy written, 2004, by Karla Dorman.
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|Reviewed by Rukiya Faizah (Reader)
|this is very good. i see that i'ma have to bookmark you so i can come check out some more of your work.|
|Reviewed by Thomas Lanechanger
|Wow!!! What a heart-wrenching write!!! Very deep and troublesome!!! Well-done!!!|
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
|You GO, Karla! I LOVE it!! (And you know I love rap anyway; so this poem was right up my alley!!) This is fantastic writing!! BRAVA!!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :D
This is going straight to my library! This is awesome work you have done!!
|Reviewed by Calendula Petal
|I really hope this haunting ride through this young girls life is really fiction Karla! It is an amazing piece of writing. You say its in the category Hip Hop, I can just imagine this as an ubeat tempo. Mind you, with such a great story line, a slower mix might be better. You should send this off, artisit are always looking for good lycrics.|
|Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers
|Karla, does anybody but us ever really know us? Although this is a very bitter and painful write...it's filled with strength and determination. I bow to you.
Excellently penned Karla! Lisa
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|OMG Karla this is so powerful and painful!!
I think many of us are walking around with some dark secret ..too damn scared to tell it would ruine your life!!
I feel this one to the depth of my soul Girl!!
|Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
|Get get get on down, a powerful write with plenty of might, don't take it wrong, but babe be strong
Well done Karla, the prayers are being answered
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|Extremely interesting how you wove the letters and numbers in, Karla. Powerfully sad, but a very good write.|
|Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie
|A sad tale to be sure, but such hope for a new life at the end, excellent Karla,
|Reviewed by na na (Reader)
|Karla, this Lady has a very difficult decision to make. If she keeps her past hidden, she has to made the decision over and over and over again. It will never go away. She should be judged by what she is today and what she has done with her life. If her beloved cannot accept what she tells him then is not her beloved. Her behaviour is from the past and should be left there. God bless you sweet Karla.
Hugs always xxxo Bill
|Reviewed by Ed Matlack
|Seems I recall a professor in college telling us that fiction has its roots in reality...if so this person has had a hard life, no doubt and this poem is a great piece of fiction...Peace, Ed & Rufuz|
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|Well done fiction Karla!|
|Reviewed by Lori Moore
|Thanks for sharing. I too hope it is fiction.|
|Reviewed by Denise Edwards
|Outstanding, Karla! A thought-provoking piece of reality.
You brought the point home so well!
Love from Texas, Denise
|Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen
|Reviewed by Cynthia Castle (Reader)
|I agree with Sandie Angel ...I hope this really is FICTION! If any part of it is real, then God Bless You, Dear Karla ...anyone that could live through this is a true survivor! May peaceful days abound!
|Reviewed by Rebekah Rosie Lang
|((Tears)) for Karla!
I am sad for you yet Happy you have
survived and come out a stronger
person! That is, IF this is for real!
Take care Karla! Your good!
|Reviewed by Sandie Angel
You said in the beginning it was a fiction, so I hope it was. What a sad story this is. No one has to go through this. If it was your real story, I'm glad of one thing that it has made you a strong lady now.
((((( Hugs )))))
~ Sandie Angel ~