Tears and this Undying Flame
by Dawn Richerson
Friday, May 21, 2004
Not rated by the Author.
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Before we knew, we were a hymn that springs forth unbidden when joy unexpected infuses body and spirit and must be expressed,
like a smile that starts deep in the bone and spreads up through vessels until it can be felt in the skin as slightest tingle.
We thirsted, longed to quench desire, were in love but did not sin. Two who passed the test, we flowed on through a river of days
watered by tears. On an ocean of nights I rocked and wondered did your heart ever ache this way. I watched flame that would not die.
Unwavering from first Love, we shook but did not fall. A pleasing aroma rose from blue-white flames; unanticipated love frightened us both.
Flickering hope led me to fly straightaway into flame on a wing and prayer that we might emerge from refining fire two moths immortal.
You saw me dying to be born again and killed the idea… wanting to prove superiority, be the only one to survive seemingly unscathed?
You became a Mothman, snuffed me out; then, as if that were not enough, you doused with ice-water disdain ashes that remained.
Black-speckled water sucked up through straw of your need to vanquish me, I am a drained pool of muck, like so many dead flies
in the cup of cold water you refused to share with me anymore. Why could you not let me live or let me die? Every day I cry
but know these salty tears fall – as much for a world where people fail to recognize honest love as I cry for you or me.
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| Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) |
5/23/2004 |
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This is so well done Dawn you capture the relationship so well in this one.
"Before we knew, we were a hymn that springs forth
unbidden when joy unexpected infuses body and spirit
and must be expressed,
like a smile that starts deep in the bone and spreads
up through vessels until it can be felt in the skin
as slightest tingle.
We thirsted, longed to quench desire, were in love but
did not sin. Two who passed the test, we flowed on through
a river of days
watered by tears. On an ocean of nights I rocked and
wondered did your heart ever ache this way. I watched
flame that would not die."
Lady Peg
BRAVO!!!!!
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| Reviewed by Alexander Shaumyan (Reader) |
5/22/2004 |
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| Very sad but poetry can help us heal and reveal the truth. Excellent poem. |
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| Reviewed by Debashish Haar (Reader) |
5/22/2004 |
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| FANTABULOUS writing, Dawn! |
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| Reviewed by Kerry Compton Star Girl |
5/22/2004 |
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| Oh, I like this one |
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| Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader) |
5/21/2004 |
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| Darkly intense....my sorta poem....fantastic work Dawn.....ty, Dani |
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| Reviewed by Regis Auffray |
5/21/2004 |
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| This makes me weep because it sweeps the depths of me with its meaning that speaks its feelings right in the face of my soul. Thank you for this offering, Dawn. Love and peace. Regis |
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| Reviewed by E T Waldron |
5/21/2004 |
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Wow! this was dark deep and hellish!
some really potent lines: Great write Dawn!
"Black-speckled water sucked up through straw of your need
to vanquish me, I am a drained pool of muck, like
so many dead flies"
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