|Reviewed by Joel Windsor
|Hey, this is a great stanza:
"Here and there
weakening wisps of smoke
like sickly silent sentinels"
I love the alliteration and the imagery. Very good poem.
|Reviewed by Susan Waterwyk
|Wow, imagery, symbolism, and deep pathos, excellent composition. You captured the pain that all creatures feel upon seeing home destroyed. I live in the forest too, and have been too close to wildfires like this.|
|Reviewed by Lena Kovadlo
|A beautiful poem you've written here.
I am tempted to change the ending lines to something like this "how long until forest fire is but a distant memory on the horizon?"
And in the line "have fled" I am tempted to add a destination - what is the place where they have fled? Not necessarily an exact place but some place. Or maybe how they fled. Or maybe say they have vanished instead.
Those are just my suggestions. Do with them as you please...
It also seems weird to me that you have one line that just says the word OR. Is there a reason why you chose to have it on a line by itself?
|Reviewed by The Poetess
|wonderful poem. It is a good thing that mother nature can heal its scars so quickly. We have much to learn from her.|
|Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo
|I think, in time, all things can be forgotten, but at least with nature, it renews itself...for us, as humans, it is not so easy... your write is thoughtful, as always, Regis ~Hugs, Elizabeth|
|Reviewed by Inspire Hope
|A very meaningful poem Regis! Be encouraged and keep on writing, may the Lord bless and keep you!
|Reviewed by Nicole Weaver
OUCH!! what a great write. You sure have a way with words. I love what I feel when I read your poems. Thanks.
Amour et paix toujours,
|Reviewed by Acirè C
|This is a good poem.
I would have ended it
until the forest is forgiven?
|Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)
|Reviewed by Kacie Rahm
|Although I'm certain this is my first time reading this poem on your page, I can't help but feel I have heard it before.
Perhaps my High School English teacher was an Authorsden reader? It sounds like an example we used in class, when studying alliteration and other poetic devices that come so naturally to you.
If not, perhaps this poem is just a shining example, on par with other great poetry that my genius English teacher shows us in class. Either way, it's obviously a great write, because it'd be a great honor if this particular teacher EVER used one of my works as an example.
Thanks for the read.
|Reviewed by Alicia wizard (Reader)
|This is a wonderful worded portrait you have painted here Regis. I have a piece called windowpane that would be rather a precursor to this piece. Check it out when you get the chance.|
|Reviewed by Richard Atwood
|(I'll try again -- if you don't end up hating me.)
Terrific picture. And a nice poem, Regis. (I take it as being one of your "famous" ones, as it seems to have had a good circulation.) Still, a question to consider, how much is the picture needed? Sure, it adds. But without, would it be the same poem? Undoubtedly it hasn't always been published so. Therefore, the poem stands rather well alone. Yet I'm curious as to why you've chosen to not use periods.
Indeed, the modern trend is to eschew punctuation. Though I'm not sure that's always wise. Punctuation does rather give one the way of reading it as the poet intended; a guide to more closely align what/how the poet meant to express, or thought. Trends change, of course. I wonder how our era will be perceived by those long after (providing the planet and inhabitants are still here) -- which again, may be doubtful. And then, it won't matter.
You have some really nice things going here, fine images that are simple, yet soar.... I would however, try to not overly repeat a word or phrase, when it's not truly necessary. (Naturally, unless repetition is sought for... as point or effect.) Example: we have two deads and a death. One dead might be sufficient. The first one.
Maybe the second could rephrase as:
Its denizens scorched
Economy of language is the key to good poetry. You started well, and should "continue" well. (Too many has's or have's take it from poetic thought to plain statements.) Showing us the first half, a series of images... then the last half a series of statements.
I've heard it often said a poem is only as good as it's ending.
(Gives the body a foot to stand on; anchors all that has gone before.) Might you then consider:
Death has made dominion,
time seems to have stopped.
before the roots change
what needs forgotten?
Of course, it is not for me to rewrite another's work; most of us do not welcome that. I'm just trying to direct your thought processes to a leaner stance. Shall we say -- is it poetry, or "poesy"? Both mean the same, but the connotations differ. So much on Author's Den is really poetastery. And I doubt few have picked up anything other than their own diaries. That is not the way to learn how to write poetry. We all have feelings, and they may need to be expressed. Fine, great! It can be theraputic; it can be "personal"; it can be art. And it doesn't have to be loftily intellectual. (After all, libraries are full of that which no one really reads.) But it needs the touch of universality, to really connect or endure. Other than that, pass the kleenex... please.
But don't call it "art."
And read, read, read.
(Something I used to do very much at the beginning. And sadly admit I have gotten away from. Having observed the world of poetry seeming to be mired in two different schools: the truly pedestrian, and the so wonderously used language... no one can figure out exactly what is being said.)
But, what do I know?
|Reviewed by Michelle Mead
|Wow-for reasons which you know, I have been away from here for awhile, and I can't believe how much great writing of yours that I missed. I am glad to have come back on so that I could enjoy these. Michelle|
|Reviewed by Sandra Ferrara Gentry
|Silence can be as deafening as the roar of the fire. Incredible write!
|Reviewed by Elizabeth Price
|So well put. The silence really got to me. The absence of all the creatures of the forest. I hope most were able to get to safety. So sad. Excellent. Liz|
|Reviewed by Stan Grimes
|Reg, this was a very good write..."death has dominion over this place." It gives a very good description of the aftermath of a forest fire.
|Reviewed by Janet Bellinger
|YOu have caught the terrible stillness of a burnt forest, Regis, with your words. I love the alliterations and rhyme.
|Reviewed by Huda Orfali
|until another fire is started and we lose another part of ourselves in the flame. until another fire consumes the beauty we forgot and it turns into ashes like our souls. until our souls are charred and the forest is gone forever. the forest is a now a dream or a memory we tell our children about but can not be seen.
You're the greatest, Reg. It's so sad to see the forest thta has been there for hundreds of year disappear because of our negilgence.
|Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very (Reader)
|This so very moving and touching so true about the Beautiful life that lives in thier homes in the forests. This poem needs to be avaliable and read by all as to the importance of making sure that camp fires are out and not to do all the things that can start these fires and should be pounded into the heads of those that start fires for greed or any reasons, of all that lives there in the lands now charred. This poem is as important as "Smokey the Bear" message with the grip of reality from carelessness of humans. I really cannot tell you enough of how you have touched me and the tears that always come to me when the forests are burning. Thank You so much and Please Get this poem with this picture out there!!! Save the Beauty of the forests. The Streams. Fish, Trees, Flowers, Birds and Critters The Total and Complete Beauty!!
|Reviewed by Fr. Kurt Messick
|Reviewed by Tami Ryan
|A powerful piece, Regis. Thank you.|
|Reviewed by Robert Montesino
|Wonderful write Regis, Your words capture the essense of your graphic!
Well done my friend!
|Reviewed by Mark Rockeymoore
|vivid evocation, the ending was perfect. every image floated on its own, until you brought it all together. great write!|
|Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader)
|What immense talent you have......this is amazing work....ty, Dani|
|Reviewed by Chanti Niven
Another beautiful offering from a man who knows how to use words to touch hearts. A forest fire may be destructive but there is always new growth to look forward to. This embodies my philosophy in life.
|Reviewed by ~Indigo~ Elga
I have been here and read this a couple of times, and everytime it has brought tears to my eyes. This is for me an incredibly sad situation, and my heart really aches at the loss of so much.
Powerfully written and touched me deeply.
|Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie
|So powerful and what a image you create with this outstanding poem,
|Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope)
|A wonderful poem of human concern and feelings. This a masterpiece, Regis. Always admire your writes.|
|Reviewed by Regina Pounds
|This one resonates with your powerful feelings, Regis. Your lyrical writing touches, and your subject is so very upsetting. Every year countless acres of forest burn to the ground. Such a loss in flora and fauna. It's distressing indeed.
Thanks for an important message.
|Reviewed by Marco Landi
|Ashes like soiled snow
carpet a lifeless forest floor
Here and there
weakening wisps of smoke
like sickly silent sentinels
wonderfully dipicted with words...
|Reviewed by Sandra Corona
|Masterful! I'm in awe of both the picture and poem!
I'm reminded of a time, driving back from California, when we paused to eat at a restraurant unaware that a furious fire was creeping nearby. When management announced that they'd lost power due to the fire (they began lighting all the candles on the tables), everyone ran outside to look. Sure enough, the smoke enveloped us and I begged Al to leave the place ... even though we weren't finished eating. I didn't want to be encircled (that's what they said it was doing--wrapping around us) by a firestorm. Everyone laughed at me (scaredy-cat)--Al's youngest daughter, her husband and three kids were with Al, Doogie and me--and went back inside. I've never eaten so fast in my life :)!
We also visited Yellowstone (another time) several years after the last fire there. I sobbed huge tears for all the fallen trees and animals; it was like a huge graveyard (to me). Although new sprigs of life sprang forth, there were vast gullies of complete burns that broke my spirit.
Your artwork, photo, is amazing. Your poem so well stated the charred present. Thanks for sharing :)!
|Reviewed by Kate Burnside
|It's difficult to describe the myriad thoughts and feelings that you evoke with this polished write, Regis. The shock and disbelief are palpable. I love the alliteration - conjuring the hissing and crackling of the flames. But your imagery, too - the blood red skies weeping with pain, and everywhere the stench of smoke that gets into the very pores of your skin. Even the idea of the "night losing its voice" is so poignant - hoarse with grief. Such pain "shown" rather than "stated". Very visual and yet "freeze-framed" at the same time. I think it is no coincidence that Hell itself is depicted as a place of eternal fire. And how long until this forest fire is forgotten?... If this excellent poem is its representative - a very long time!! Bless you, Regis... you are such an understated and unselfconscious Master of poetry. I greatly admire your wonderful work. Kate xx|
|Reviewed by A PAX
|i am thinking bambi here.......you know even as a kid that whole concept scared me, and I was in manhattan!
powerful words......pax A
|Reviewed by Kevin Mc Crum (Reader)
|What an horrific picture Regis.
The write is equally as grand!
|Reviewed by Linda Hill
|Powerful write and pic, my friend.
I appolize for not commenting on your writes lately. I've been in the hospital for a very bad drug reaction and just recently started posting and reviewing again. Love and Peace to you, kind friend...
|Reviewed by William Bonilla
|Great piece Regis
I am a true lover of nature
and this piece hit the spot
Thanks for sharing
|Reviewed by Kate Clifford
|Reviewed by Rose L
|Even death's dominion shall burn off in time, therein lies the truest beauty of nature, it's ability to rise from the ashes - like the immorta phoenix. Compelling as ever Regis.
|Reviewed by Peter Paton
|Very descriptive and evocative write of the aftermath of a raging towering forest fire !!!
Powerful and convincing narrative Reg
|Reviewed by Amira van Kerk
|What a sad write.
It will take ages until nature is again what it used to be.
Excellent with the photo, though touching.
|Reviewed by Thomas Lanechanger
|Very powerful write and stunning picture to go along with it, Regis!!!… You know if you’ve ever been in one, you’ll never forget it, that’s for darn sure!!!… Thanks for sharing it, Poet!!!|
|Reviewed by ya mama (Reader)
|Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson
|it saddens me to see and hear
but you put this together so well!!!
your left feeling empty here, because of the topic
which means you have done a wonderful job relying
|Reviewed by Franz Kessler
|Wonderful poetry, Regis - a pleasure to read and to feel the sensation of smoke, smell and eerie emptyness. Strangely as it may sound this deadly emptyness is a precursor of new life. Franz
(our jungles here in Borneo, or what is left of it, seem to be at the point of burning again)
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|This is superb work Regis. You have really captured the moment
the photo matching the verse!
|Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain
|One terrific write, Regis - a stunning piece for all to read and behold! Robert.|
|Reviewed by Eddie Thompson
|THE NIGHT HAS LOST IT'S VOICE....wow...you da man, reeg!!!|
|Reviewed by Carmen Ruggero
|Having lived in Souther California for many years, I can surely relate to this. Fires are debastating evils.
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|Powerful powerful piece, Regis, and an awesome graphic.|
|Reviewed by J. Allen Wilson
|spectacular photo and write Regis, masterfully done.
|Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader)
|This is stunning that art the descritive drama....|
|Reviewed by Fletcher Bailey (Reader)
|Regis...exemplary poetry here...awesome...Fletcher B|
|Reviewed by Dawn Richerson
|Regis, powerful write!|
|Reviewed by Sarah Tagert
|Wow, powerful and stiring write!|
|Reviewed by Larry Rochelle
|Just the mass of confusion and destruction must be devastating on the human psyche. Great images here!|
|Reviewed by jude forese
|nature's fury can only be estinghuised when it so desires ...
i like the metaphoric nature of this poem ... hell has no memory ...
|Reviewed by Ed Matlack
|Oh please tell me that that fire is not anywhere near you, Regis! You live in and around such beauty & to have it burn, would be tragic...
The poem you have penned herein is quite tragic, I hate forest fires, as most seem to be started by man in his infinite ignorance...check out what I wrote sometime ago, reference the same:
Peace, dear friend, Ed & rufuz
|Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK
|That Fire Is Within Each N Every Human Being,i.e. ONLY YOU CAN PUT IT OUT_ Doubt_
In The End Your Entire Life Unfolds Before You On Near Your Deathbed_
This Is How (God) Opens Your Eyes,i.e. There Is No Coming Back_
Only You Can Be At Peace Within Mine Self! As all Others Around In Same!
|Reviewed by George Carroll
|When new growth takes place and hides the scars of the f ire. Great pic and poem|
|Reviewed by Pier Tyler
|No we won't forget. This is a great relevant write. It's that time of the year and all it takes is one spark. Great picture too! Thanks for bringing this close to home for us.|
|Reviewed by Katy Walsvik
|I completely left the room, Regis... I could even smell this. To be able to rant with such grace and such quiet, that is the definition of profound, indeed. Not often enough, a poem is able to seep into a reader's head... this did that. There's real power here... a great piece of writing! katy xox.|
|Reviewed by Marie Wadsworth
|this was masterfully written. the style made me think of great nature writers such as forest. This gives one a new appreciate of Mother Nature. A cry to stop destroying Mother Nature. exceptional piece.|
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
WOW--searing imagery and painful write--powerfully written! well done!
(((HUGS))) and love, karla.
i'd send you some rain if i could :( june was the second wettest in history--nearly 11" of rain
|Reviewed by Monette Bebow-Reinhard (Reader)
|Intense write! Even though fires are a cleansing tool of Mother Earth, we must never forget their destructive force. Thanks for sharing!
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
|terrific stuff, scary pic, regis! nice job on this!
(((HUGS))) and much love, ton ami a' texas, karen lynn. :D
paix et amour a' toi!
|Reviewed by Sandie Angel
|Amazing pic and wonderful write!
Sandie May Angel :o)
|Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader)
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Will it ever been forgotten?
It's like a broken heart the scars will always be there deep inside!!