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Carmen Ruggero

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Member Since: Nov, 2002

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A Bad Poem (Satire)
by Carmen Ruggero
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Carmen Ruggero
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           >> View all 98

A Bad Poem (Satire)


You sit in dark obscurity
watching me,
watching you,
and we watch each other
in quiet silence
in the dark and
alone, only because
we’re silent.
Rhymes lost in
alliteration
of repeated consonants
meaning nothing,
and without intended expression
monosyllables…
of incomplete words
reflecting absent thoughts
that aren’t there.
I think you and I,
the two of us,
grammatical infectors
of every day communication,
are like a lousy poem
no one wants to read,
except for you and I,
the two of us,
till we’re sick of it
but we’re afraid
with fear of an ending
far worse than the beginning
when it started,
and so we sit
silently in the dark,
saying nothing.


Carmen Ruggero © 2004

 



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Reviewed by Natasha Bowman
"In the dark and
alone, only because
we’re silent."

Haven't we all felt this way, some time or another? Beautiful. One poem, and you've got me hooked.
Reviewed by Axilea MU
This made me think of a poem I wrote: "dysfunctional poetry". I have really enjoyed the way you crafted this piece and the way you compared "bad poetry" to a difficult or troubled relationship.

Axilea
Reviewed by neerja gandhi
very well said and expressed.When people get bored of life,they try to find solace in each-others companionship and turn to fancies.Great!!! very thoughtful indeed.
Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G
I just have #3 words for this!
Just Be HOnest!
Great reflection of the unknowing!
Keep on writing!
Good, Bad, thoughtful, sexy,
Etc.
Just get it out!
- One mans junk is another ones treasure-
WArmly, WArrior Lady Sheeeoox
YOur heart is true
I like that about you!
I started tracking you!
See you soon1
Stay Strong!
STay Happy and POsitive!
Reviewed by Debra Baker
Such truth in these words written. Only I believe do we not grow in our errors. Sometime to bring forth a breath of golden silence rewarding us in perfection in a poem. Carmen, I love your work. And, will continue to drop by from time to time viewing it.
Reviewed by Joyce Bowling
I loved this...I think we've all been there and done that...I was browsing through some old poems just this morning, I did stumble across one or two that I written from a great inspiration, and then one or two I couldn't believe that I had written...who knows though what we esteem as bad, others may love. After all that's how poetry goes. Again, I loved this, anxious to read more of your work.
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
Reviewed by Jill Carpenter
Very nice. I enjoyed this one tremendously!
It was fun to read aloud too. I've sent this link out to some friends. I have an idea they will enjoy it as much as I did. :o)
Jill
Reviewed by Lori Moore
So many great lines. I especially like,

"Rhymes lost in
alliteration
of repeated consonants
meaning nothing"

Excellent!
Reviewed by Nordette Adams
Carmen, the poem is awesome. A splendidly thoughtful penning. So many relationships go this route.
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
(((carmen)))

you wouldn't know how to write a bad poem if one came up and bit you in the rump :)

this one is a keeper--most excellent!

(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :)
Reviewed by jude forese
i really like this poem ... a poem without substance is just a decoration of words and is better of not written ...
Reviewed by RD Larson
hey you gittin' squirrelly with my brain in this one. Not to be forgotten, is very special.
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK
Unique N Different Done Good,i.e. Whole Idea Is To Look Beyond It--To Walk Away & To Never Look Back As It Will Only Destroy You!!

TRASK
Reviewed by Handsum Hart
Wow, super creative from start to finish
well done Carmen

Reviewed by Kate Burnside
Powerful and speaks volumes, Carmen! Very neatly constructed and conveyed with the objectivity that befits the mood. Yet this makes an emotional impact that is so poignant - especially with the music. Such sadness and pathos here. A very sophisticated write - nothing like the "bad poem/satire" mentioned in the title! Bravo! TY Kate xx
Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain
Carmen -

Thank you for sharing this - a great bit of writing ... well done!

Robert
Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson
sad...either you guys break through
the silence and begin to live or you go to seperate corners and die
enjoyed this lady
Reviewed by Cynth'ya cynthyaspeaks@gmail.com
If writers block could be described as a stranger in the night, you got it right on target Sis. Our coffee is still sitting at the Blue Bottle getting cold, isn't it? LOL

blessin's
cynth'ya
Reviewed by Ian Thorpe
I know that you know that I am reading this and you know that I know that you know I am reading this. Between the jambs of an enjambment I have to say the piece surpasses anything Rumsfeld ever did Carmen. Wonderful satire on the windbaggery of may establised poets.
Ian
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
As so it begins . . . This is the end, my friend . . . Very, very good, Carmen.
Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU
"A Bad Poem (Satire)" is a poetic grand.

I have enjoyed the reading of a true poetic expression.

Long healthy life, Sublime Poet!

Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU







Reviewed by Robert Montesino
Outstanding Carmen! I really like what you did here.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Brilliant Carmen!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader)
I love this one it is Satire....Well Done Carmen.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Clever, genius you! Well done!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Sue Hess
this is brilliant, start to finish
Reviewed by E T Waldron
Carmen I totally love it!;-) (don't die;-)
You penned a golden gem, love the music with it!
Reviewed by Kate Clifford
Ouch painful write but extremely well done and very creative!
Reviewed by Helga Ross
Carmen, this is priceless! lol
Bad is very very good - Incommunicado as inspired wit.
Reviewed by Thomas Lanechanger
Excellent work Carmen! Some of the best moments that two can share and treasure are the absolute silence and solace, yet, because communication is the key to any successful relationship lasting, one must never give up using that vital attribute. Outstanding work, my friend!
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie
This was excellent, liked your thoughts here,

Reindeer
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
I'd say your 'Bad Poem' is very good - and extremely powerful.

Well Done, Carmen.
Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader)
I must agree with George......Fantastic lines Carmen. Great to read you......ty, Dani
Reviewed by George MacLean Akurunwa
Never quit. Hang in there. Great lines.
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