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Carmen Ruggero

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A Bad Poem (Satire)
by Carmen Ruggero

Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Carmen Ruggero
•  A Poet’s Dawn [Spenserian sonnet]
•  Reality Check
•  Rusty Nails
•  The Sands of Time
•  I Give Thanks
           >> View all 98

A Bad Poem (Satire)


You sit in dark obscurity
watching me,
watching you,
and we watch each other
in quiet silence
in the dark and
alone, only because
we’re silent.
Rhymes lost in
alliteration
of repeated consonants
meaning nothing,
and without intended expression
monosyllables…
of incomplete words
reflecting absent thoughts
that aren’t there.
I think you and I,
the two of us,
grammatical infectors
of every day communication,
are like a lousy poem
no one wants to read,
except for you and I,
the two of us,
till we’re sick of it
but we’re afraid
with fear of an ending
far worse than the beginning
when it started,
and so we sit
silently in the dark,
saying nothing.


Carmen Ruggero © 2004

 

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Reviewed by Natasha Bowman 8/24/2008
"In the dark and
alone, only because
we’re silent."

Haven't we all felt this way, some time or another? Beautiful. One poem, and you've got me hooked.
Reviewed by Axilea MU 8/21/2008
This made me think of a poem I wrote: "dysfunctional poetry". I have really enjoyed the way you crafted this piece and the way you compared "bad poetry" to a difficult or troubled relationship.

Axilea
Reviewed by neerja gandhi 5/1/2008
very well said and expressed.When people get bored of life,they try to find solace in each-others companionship and turn to fancies.Great!!! very thoughtful indeed.
Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G 4/10/2007
I just have #3 words for this!
Just Be HOnest!
Great reflection of the unknowing!
Keep on writing!
Good, Bad, thoughtful, sexy,
Etc.
Just get it out!
- One mans junk is another ones treasure-
WArmly, WArrior Lady Sheeeoox
YOur heart is true
I like that about you!
I started tracking you!
See you soon1
Stay Strong!
STay Happy and POsitive!
Reviewed by Debra Baker 2/24/2007
Such truth in these words written. Only I believe do we not grow in our errors. Sometime to bring forth a breath of golden silence rewarding us in perfection in a poem. Carmen, I love your work. And, will continue to drop by from time to time viewing it.
Reviewed by Joyce Bowling 11/12/2006
I loved this...I think we've all been there and done that...I was browsing through some old poems just this morning, I did stumble across one or two that I written from a great inspiration, and then one or two I couldn't believe that I had written...who knows though what we esteem as bad, others may love. After all that's how poetry goes. Again, I loved this, anxious to read more of your work.
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
Reviewed by Jill Carpenter 3/2/2006
Very nice. I enjoyed this one tremendously!
It was fun to read aloud too. I've sent this link out to some friends. I have an idea they will enjoy it as much as I did. :o)
Jill
Reviewed by Lori Moore 10/13/2004
So many great lines. I especially like,

"Rhymes lost in
alliteration
of repeated consonants
meaning nothing"

Excellent!
Reviewed by Nordette Adams 9/18/2004
Carmen, the poem is awesome. A splendidly thoughtful penning. So many relationships go this route.
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 8/16/2004
(((carmen)))

you wouldn't know how to write a bad poem if one came up and bit you in the rump :)

this one is a keeper--most excellent!

(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :)
Reviewed by jude forese 8/13/2004
i really like this poem ... a poem without substance is just a decoration of words and is better of not written ...
Reviewed by RD Larson 8/13/2004
hey you gittin' squirrelly with my brain in this one. Not to be forgotten, is very special.
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 8/13/2004
Unique N Different Done Good,i.e. Whole Idea Is To Look Beyond It--To Walk Away & To Never Look Back As It Will Only Destroy You!!

TRASK
Reviewed by Handsum Hart 8/12/2004
Wow, super creative from start to finish
well done Carmen

Reviewed by Kate Burnside 8/11/2004
Powerful and speaks volumes, Carmen! Very neatly constructed and conveyed with the objectivity that befits the mood. Yet this makes an emotional impact that is so poignant - especially with the music. Such sadness and pathos here. A very sophisticated write - nothing like the "bad poem/satire" mentioned in the title! Bravo! TY Kate xx
Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain 8/11/2004
Carmen -

Thank you for sharing this - a great bit of writing ... well done!

Robert
Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson 8/11/2004
sad...either you guys break through
the silence and begin to live or you go to seperate corners and die
enjoyed this lady
Reviewed by Cynth'ya cynthyaspeaks@gmail.com 8/11/2004
If writers block could be described as a stranger in the night, you got it right on target Sis. Our coffee is still sitting at the Blue Bottle getting cold, isn't it? LOL

blessin's
cynth'ya
Reviewed by Ian Thorpe 8/11/2004
I know that you know that I am reading this and you know that I know that you know I am reading this. Between the jambs of an enjambment I have to say the piece surpasses anything Rumsfeld ever did Carmen. Wonderful satire on the windbaggery of may establised poets.
Ian
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 8/11/2004
As so it begins . . . This is the end, my friend . . . Very, very good, Carmen.
Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU 8/10/2004
"A Bad Poem (Satire)" is a poetic grand.

I have enjoyed the reading of a true poetic expression.

Long healthy life, Sublime Poet!

Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU







Reviewed by Robert Montesino 8/10/2004
Outstanding Carmen! I really like what you did here.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 8/10/2004
Brilliant Carmen!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) 8/10/2004
I love this one it is Satire....Well Done Carmen.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 8/10/2004
Clever, genius you! Well done!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Sue Hess 8/10/2004
this is brilliant, start to finish
Reviewed by E T Waldron 8/10/2004
Carmen I totally love it!;-) (don't die;-)
You penned a golden gem, love the music with it!
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 8/10/2004
Ouch painful write but extremely well done and very creative!
Reviewed by Helga Ross 8/10/2004
Carmen, this is priceless! lol
Bad is very very good - Incommunicado as inspired wit.
Reviewed by Thomas Lanechanger 8/10/2004
Excellent work Carmen! Some of the best moments that two can share and treasure are the absolute silence and solace, yet, because communication is the key to any successful relationship lasting, one must never give up using that vital attribute. Outstanding work, my friend!
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 8/10/2004
This was excellent, liked your thoughts here,

Reindeer
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 8/10/2004
I'd say your 'Bad Poem' is very good - and extremely powerful.

Well Done, Carmen.
Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader) 8/10/2004
I must agree with George......Fantastic lines Carmen. Great to read you......ty, Dani
Reviewed by George MacLean Akurunwa 8/10/2004
Never quit. Hang in there. Great lines.



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