August Afternoon
by Dawn Richerson
Monday, August 30, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Hot
August afternoon.
An old, electric fan circulates
the muggy air. Its
noise
fills my mind
with the disconcerting sound
of a brigade of super-sized flies
descending
or the chopper that lands
too late
on the battlefield
where I lie bloodied and
withering.
Your absence
clings more to me
than the humidity.
I stare into
flowered blades
of North, South, East, West
blended
to a blur
that sucks me,
willing, wandering soul,
into
spiral-spinning,
man-made momentum
meant to
reinvigorate
staid surroundings
with winds of change.
Where is Autumn’s
God-fan, golden
dying time?
Swirling metal,
razor-sharp,
cannot slice
pain
of separation and
eddies of forced air
fail to cool
passion’s flame
or revive me
from winter’s loss
of hope and you this
hot
August afternoon.
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poetry collections & art by Dawn
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| Reviewed by Dan Zuewski (Reader) |
8/31/2004 |
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| ugh the humidity is the worst... I can deal with the heat but not the stickiness... this poem works really well with the imagery of the fan... that just spins without cooling... |
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| Reviewed by Kenny Moon |
8/31/2004 |
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wow, misty autumn lady poem, watching leaves and trees fall,
and the other out of reach, beyond the branches and the garden.
k |
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| Reviewed by Peter Paton |
8/31/2004 |
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Searing pain and detachment abound in this vivid and potent write , Dawn...
Peter |
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| Reviewed by Kate Clifford |
8/30/2004 |
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| Great descriptions! |
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| Reviewed by jude forese |
8/30/2004 |
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| powerfully penetrating and well sculptured poem ... |
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| Reviewed by Beth Elaine |
8/30/2004 |
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| unique symbolism--I like the way the fan is connected to all those feelings. |
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| Reviewed by Lori Moore |
8/30/2004 |
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Excellent write. I love the "super-sized fly" image! Great style as well as content.
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| Reviewed by E T Waldron |
8/30/2004 |
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Dawn this has such depth,yet it seems almost surreal,
and full of emotion at the same time. A rich mixture of
poetic thought... |
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| Reviewed by Sue Hess |
8/30/2004 |
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| very nice flow to this, moved nicely from fan to chopper...from space to space, time to time. i like it |
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| Reviewed by Al Swanson (Reader) |
8/30/2004 |
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Hi Dawn
I liked all these, and they most certainly did seem to speak to a center of me, I suppose like the fan itself constructed, with a rolling center. The first one showed allot of imagination, to sa the utmost least, witht the the chopper, I liked particularly the second one. "flowered blades", "blended to a blur" and also I did like wondering soul too although many might claim it cliche ish, I liked it right there. and it also had passion in it, and honesty, ty Al |
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