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A dedication to all those who use their valuable time to hurt, humiliate, and tear down.

How many ways can I say I'm sorry?

Will it take my getting down on both knees, pleading with templed hands for you to see that I mean what I say?

I can't believe it's so hard to see that I know my course has bothered you to the point that you almost hate me.

You want to hate me.

It's not that I've really done anything wrong, but I want to try and atone your displeasure for me.

Who could have known that a stocky little man like me with my many shortcomings and insecurities could ignite such a fire storm.

Whether I believe it or not, it's happened.

So let me say again, I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry for the reason you may want me to be.

I'm not sorry that I've been given gifts by the Most High that bring attention to his power and might.

I'm not sorry that I have tasted man's idea of success and that I give my very best in everything I strive to do.

I'm not sorry that my name has reached places and people I'll never know and that as I mature and grow, what I have done encourages someone to find their voice.

No, for these things I am not sorry. Then what am I apologizing for?

Well, I'm sorry that you have allowed your need for attention to cause you not to heed my Heavenly Father's word about jealousy.

I'm sorry that your narrow mind has you too blind to see that there is room for more than one on the way to the top.

I'm sorry that your desire for the finer things have you mentally going to extremes to try to outdo me--- when it shouldn't even get to that point.

What happened to just wanting the best for the others in this race and forgetting the rest which leads to nothing more than division.

I'm sorry that somewhere along the way you strayed from a course of purpose to one that is lonely and leads to where I wouldn't want you to be.

You see, though you may have turned your back on me--- I still want the best for you. Because that's what we're supposed to do.

I can't waste my time trying to hoard what isn't mine anyway.

My energy is better used trying to improve on the gifts I am given and not looking behind me trying to see who is going to catch up with me.

Just the same, this isn't some sleazy game where I try to catch up with the one ahead only to trip them up so they won't beat me to the finish line.

It doesn't have to be that way.

I would rather use my energy in this race to pace my steps and try not to stumble over obstacles that man and I may put in my way.

I want to continue along going strong, not worrying about who's ahead or beside me---realizing that is not going to be the important thing.

Instead, I want to make sure that if someone can't endure and stumbles and falls, that I am there to pick them up and encourage them to keep going.

That is what really makes a success, not how many people you pull down but the number that you take your time to pick up.

And if you can't understand that, then I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry.



(c) 2006 by C. A. Webb
for his upcoming poetry chapbook "MY CONTROVERSY"