A Combination to Unlock Myself
by Dawn Richerson
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.
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in three fading freeze frames
from the K-Mart photo booth.
Wide-eyed desperation and
fear are written in deep shadow
creasing three-year-old cheeks.
It’s there in stark black and white:
what he did to me and how
my world had gone gray
before New Year’s Day.
six on the one hand,
half a dozen on the other,
laughing myself silly in this one,
all bottled rage in that one. Here,
the Floridian bay where stingrays swam
and, there, the neighbor’s treehouse.
I jumped from that high haven once,
daring God not to take me back.
He didn’t want me yet,
and I saw seven.
the Indian princess, hair
in braids and dressed in a fabric
of dancing color, woven threads
that sing in unison, harmonic tones
of grace. A rare smile, peace-filled,
lightens a face that has known
but nine young years, yet
carries the storied wisdom
twelve tribes returning,
recognizing my beginning and
my end lies in the Ever-Living One.
It is the twelfth day of the twelfth month
in my twelfth year of life, and
I go down into the waters,
rising up in newness of life.
Aware already of my task,
I set out on bold journey,
adventure of faith.
without a party. Grandma,
my one sure thing, is gone, and
I might as well have been living
on the moon or with the little green
men she believed in. This should be
the happiest time, but one shivers
looking at the desolate desert
behind green meadow eyes
moist with troubling Truth.
to say no and one obstinate
”I do.” I choose to create a dream
that doesn’t exist, determined
to become a master of fate
and mistress to none. I dismiss
my partner’s partial participation
and say I can handle it, I’ll do it
all on my own, and soon
I am all alone.
thirty, divorced, beginning again
with a child of two and a heart
ready to believe in miracles.
Here they have begun, and
I shine, bathed in a glow
of golden gleam and promise
of things to come. My heart
beats wildly to see me there,
to what danger awaits.
thirty-three and I have lost more
than I lost before. Two days
before Christmas and I have
been summarily dismissed
from the work that was
the fulfillment of a call,
from the lives of people
I have loved, still love,
from everything I know
and have come to trust.
thirty-nine, standing on the edge
of forty, living nobody’s dream,
just trying to keep my head
above water, refusing
to drown in sorrows
that have been, hating
this thorn in the flesh that
tears at my mind and spills out
in swinging moods. Here I am,
reaching for real joy.
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|Reviewed by Kate Burnside
|Fantastic, Dawn - and can so relate... just keep pressin those combinations for however long it takes to make the connection and to work the lock FREE!! I hope this has been as catharctic for you in the writing of it as it has been for me in the reading of it... you have a gift for "unlocking" pain in others with your honesty and empathy - we journey together, my friend, and never ever feel that you are alone... we are a cast of many... TY LOL Kate xx|
|Reviewed by Janet Parker
|What a beautifully written self-portrait and a very creative idea. I was "locked" into the whole thing.|
|Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
|Blimey, most unique. The strength of a woman, a determined one too.
Sure can empathise.
This is a most intelligent bio. and brave, well done..
|Reviewed by Cynthia Castle
Very unique and creative poetry! I love the way you have taken the reader on a journey through your life! You are an outstanding poetess and person. These trials and tribulations in your life have molded you into a wonderful human being with so much to share. Keep reaching for "real Joy!" I have been there and real joy will come to you as it has for me! Blessings to you!
|Reviewed by jude forese
|extrememly creative in content, approach and style ...|
|Reviewed by J. Allen Wilson
|Dawn, the revelations of this combination is incredible.
"looking at the desolate desert
behind green meadow eyes
moist with troubling Truth."
Your poetry speaks a powerful testament, you experiences are but stepping stones in the path of your enlightenment, and your gift from this is the wonderful ability to share your life with others in words of soulful poetry.
|Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain
Extremely clever write - poetic perfection shines in this definitive journey ... outstanding!!
|Reviewed by Kathleen Herrick
|This is truely inspiring. I should be so bold in writing about myself but alas, fear has burned my ink. Good write!|
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
*shivers* and tears...i, too, felt i was watching you as you grew up...and what you've penned is a lifetime of heartache and incredible strength as you rose above each setback. GOOD ON YOU! a stunning write--a keeper that i shall treasure--thank you
(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :(
|Reviewed by Dale Clark
|So unique. An excellent piece.|
|Reviewed by Sherry Heim
|What a unique way you have chosen to begin writing your memoirs, Dawn. I felt like I was looking at a family album with you as you unfolded the events that you recalled, sparked by each photo. This is a wonderful window into your life and to the journey that brings you here today. Very nicely done!
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|An inspiring poetic creation, Dawn. Thank you. Love and peace. Regis|
|Reviewed by Ed Matlack
|Dawn, WHAT A SUPER NEAT WAY OF DOING A POEM! This idea could get you in print, I bet anyone could identify and of course add to it...Ed
PS: now I know your hearts combination, at least until next year...
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|refusing to drown in sorrows
reaching for real joy
Keep swimming, reaching, and writing, Dawn!
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|most interesting Dawn!!
|Reviewed by Sage Writer (Reader)
|This makes us think about our own combination to self. Trust me, you are not alone. Most of us can easily put it down in a journal, but, being open really helps others. Thanks for opening your big heart.|
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|Dawn you are! period!!! And you are more than you could ever have hoped to be! You are on your own raising a son, hopefully giving dirtion and guidance to his life from the lessons you have learned. You are writing superb poetry and as George says being of help to people you may never know about. You are!|
|Reviewed by George Jackson
|You are a true poet in every sense of the word. Never afraid to open up and cut loose, you write from the heart. I read your work, and others because I enjoy them, but also that I may learn from someone who really knows what they are doing, and perhaps some day reach the level they have. An excellent, thoughtful write. Thank you.|