Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  M Cates, iLloyd Lofthouse, iDietmar Rothe, iChidi Asika-Enahoro, iValerie, iMandeep Khera, iHenry Miranda, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

+Steven Curtis Lance

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Sponsor Me!
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· 2,491 Titles
· 6,980 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Before 2003

+Steven Curtis Lance, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
The Unlikely Heroine - book ii
by Kathy L Wheeler / Kae Elle Wheeler

Lady Pricilla is one damsel who does not need rescuing by a Prince Charming unlike her sister, Cinderella. She has brains and intends to use them!..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Books by +Steven Curtis Lance
New! Improved! Now 100% Snout and Anus Free!
by +Steven Curtis Lance
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow
Recent poems by +Steven Curtis Lance
•  Real
•  Lost and Found
•  For (What I Have of) Ever
•  Look Deeper
•  Through an Open Mind
           >> View all 2,462

"Existential hot dogs had affected her brain"

Transcendental Sonnet #1168:
New! Improved! Now 100% Snout and Anus Free!

I used to eat hot dogs but I don't anymore
I'm not quite sure why I ever ate them before
Had a book project called "Existential Hot Dogs"
Named after ground-up snouts and anuses of hogs
But then my publisher went completely insane
Existential hot dogs had affected her brain

I guess I'm at least a vegetarian now
It's been a long time since I've gnawed a pig or cow
To tell you the truth now I mostly eat brown rice
I'm sure the condemned ones at the fair think that's nice
Of me but see it's just my eccentricity
In any case my doctor is quite pleased with me

"Collected Poems" sounds so very much more dignified
And in the making of this book no animals have died

+Steven Curtis Lance

Copyright MMIV Silke LLC

+Steven Curtis Lance's Blog
Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Kate Clifford
LOL this is cute. I tend to shy away from red meat but I just can't resist a good pork dinner :-)
Reviewed by Sherry Heim
Funny stuff, Steven. I have tried all the different ways of eating, Vegetarian, Vegan(20 years), Macrobiotic, only eating veggies, poultry and fish. Now I eat some of everything. I got tired of having no real varity in my meals. Good for you on the Veggie thing, though, I know it is a commitment as well as a lifestyle.
Take care,
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Nathans...the best dogs on the planet for eating, I just love to feel my arteries hardening, makes me tingly all over...and they crackle...Ed
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  2.  The Thrill is Gone
  3.  My UnWanted Birthday
  4.  OMG, it's freakin' HOT...
  5.  Mushmouth Kostro...
  6.  An old hippie lives here...
  7.  One of Those Days
  8.  Sunny Days and Mondays
  9.  Cell Phove VS My Personal Space...
  10.  Hello, I'm Mister ED...

Punk Slut by Mark Sutton

If you enjoy a nice slice of raunch, combined with crushing disappointment, then 'Punk Slut' is just for you..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.