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New! Improved! Now 100% Snout and Anus Free!
by +Steven Curtis Lance

Saturday, December 11, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by +Steven Curtis Lance
•  The Thing
•  A Careful Man
•  Big Pig
•  Us Indeed
•  In the In Between
           >> View all 2,429

"Existential hot dogs had affected her brain"

Transcendental Sonnet #1168:
New! Improved! Now 100% Snout and Anus Free!

I used to eat hot dogs but I don't anymore
I'm not quite sure why I ever ate them before
Had a book project called "Existential Hot Dogs"
Named after ground-up snouts and anuses of hogs
But then my publisher went completely insane
Existential hot dogs had affected her brain

I guess I'm at least a vegetarian now
It's been a long time since I've gnawed a pig or cow
To tell you the truth now I mostly eat brown rice
I'm sure the condemned ones at the fair think that's nice
Of me but see it's just my eccentricity
In any case my doctor is quite pleased with me

"Collected Poems" sounds so very much more dignified
And in the making of this book no animals have died

+Steven Curtis Lance

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Reviewed by Kate Clifford 12/12/2004
LOL this is cute. I tend to shy away from red meat but I just can't resist a good pork dinner :-)
Reviewed by Sherry Heim 12/11/2004
Funny stuff, Steven. I have tried all the different ways of eating, Vegetarian, Vegan(20 years), Macrobiotic, only eating veggies, poultry and fish. Now I eat some of everything. I got tired of having no real varity in my meals. Good for you on the Veggie thing, though, I know it is a commitment as well as a lifestyle.
Take care,
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 12/11/2004
Nathans...the best dogs on the planet for eating, I just love to feel my arteries hardening, makes me tingly all over...and they crackle...Ed

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