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Tinka Boukes

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Pumpkin Hill
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Six people's lives are changed forever by the startling events that occur at a rural crossroads named Pumpkin Hill...  
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A Silent Moment
by Tinka Boukes
Rated "G" by the Author.
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A Silent Moment

I am sitting here so very alone, all by myself at my
desk, only a candle to keep me company...everybody else went to bed early There is a power failure and that means total darkness till that’s why the candle is my only hope...for some kind of light...and it's only 9 o'clock at night...what am I going to do till midnight. And I just sat there all in thoughts...since the power was off.... I looked at the candle and saw a face full of pain in front of bedtime forgotten because I know this face is very unhappy...and I could not get my answer before the power went off.
No TV inter-net or radio to listen this face in the candle.
I decided to put my thoughts on paper to make me feel better about this face and the hurt in the eyes...and this is no joke…its a real true fact…  I am still worried about that face in my candle.
I am scared and alone...lonely and so far away from my life soul mate.
What do you know about feelings so strong they torture you and they can destroy your every emotion and reality.
They make you smile and cry at the same time. You want to cry for every lost moment you miss out on being with this person, you love more than life. You are scared to death this person does not love you back.
I closed my eyes to get rid of the pain in the face in front of me
But can't shake the feeling that there is something unsaid and so important it could turn the clock for everyone.
I closed my eyes again and got so confused that I did not know the difference between here and there.
So a voice said to me its time for some self-examination girl. Are you not the one to blame for the pain in the eyes of the face in your candle?
Is it for the mistakes I made in life that’s haunting me? So I did some investigation on myself. Wonder when did I hurt someone's feelings, what wrong did I do by opening my heart and spit it all out. Was it wrong to admit my deepest feelings and love? Why...this feeling of guilt...that I am maybe the one who destroyed people. Does people hate me for who I am? Will they except my apology if I tell them I am sorry over and over again...and did not mean to hurt anybody in the process?
And then I asked God's help'
If I am that horrible person I don't want to be me anymore....
And now I am hurting so badly, because I still wait for an answer from God and my dear face in the candle to answer me back.
Please help me with a answer.  Am I that person with no brains...out there causing you the pain and anger?
Sorry forgive me…let me know what you really feel.
Shall I call this an S O S or letter of sorrow
or rejoice
I will wait for the reply...on this one
Thank you for reading this
Thanks to you...
Face in the candle

Copyright ©2004 Tinka Boukes

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Reviewed by Jeremy Teoh 4/1/2008
i felt that once.I started to observe myself after an advice from a friend.heck,I realized many mistakes I did in life.

Lastly,great poem.
Reviewed by m w 12/7/2005
God's answers are always within us, just sometimes very hard to find as our pain obscures his love.

Wonderful feeling here.. so well penned
Reviewed by Amira van Kerk 12/25/2004
Tinka, whatever you did, it is past now and you can't make it unhappen. You are a good and sweet person. Whatever you did, he or she will surely forgive you. Just talk to that person personally, and I am sure you will find a way to regain your friendship.
Don't stay stuck in negative emotions. Move on.
Wonderful write.
Reviewed by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper 12/18/2004
Hey Tinka, you wrote it out. Sometimes feelings can take advantage of us. The worst thing to do is stay negative. Don't beat yourself. I've been tellng myself this all day. Cherry on! l&p G
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 12/18/2004
Honest introspection. With the lords help.

PS S/A cricket team need the lords help..
Reviewed by Faye Enno (Reader) 12/18/2004
Beautiful write!
Reviewed by Handsum Hart 12/17/2004
"No TV inter-net or radio to listen too" consider this a bonus.
Let the past bury the past. You cannot change it but you can shape your future, starting with this moment. Go for it!!!

Joy and starlight
Reviewed by jude forese 12/17/2004
don't forget, your face is flicking in luminosity ...
Reviewed by Lori Moore 12/17/2004
With the new day, we have a new start. Nice write.
Reviewed by Dave Harm 12/17/2004
Getting "into the silence" is a tranquil respite from life. At times, its easier to find then others. And at times, its depressing because of the "old tapes" that play in our mind. To realize, these tapes are more about shame then guilt, is the beginning of the journey for ones "true self." Let go of the shame, let go of the past, then silence IS golden. Enjoyed this, understood everything you said. Take care, Dave
Reviewed by Rebecca Burns 12/17/2004
Tina, that was deep and moving. We all see that face, the one we dont' want to admit, but it shows too often when we are alone. I hope you realize that behind the face in the candle is a strong, strong woman. Thanks for sharing. Rebecca
Reviewed by Sherry Heim 12/17/2004
Tinka, there is not a lot that you can do about the past, other than learn from it and make a commitment to yourself to become a better person. Today is a brand new day and your life moves forward from here. Embrace the innocence and promise of the sunrise and vow to make a fresh start. Sweep the skeletons from your closet and free yourself from self-degradation. There are no perfect people in this world and no one should expect themselves to be.
Take care,
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 12/17/2004
I have recently realized that I am letting go of all the mistakes that I have made. I am not looking back either. Only the "now" really counts. Love, peace and strength to you. Regis
Reviewed by E T Waldron 12/17/2004
Tinks remember your bible"All fall short of the glory of God" and Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!" It's good to examine ourself ;but finish up with reality and truth if you can, then start over and put the doubts behind you! Excellent write!
Reviewed by Al Swanson (Reader) 12/17/2004
I thin k this was astutely romantic, I have a hard time saying things in English anymore, making the rhmes and stuff, sure you've been there, it is sure not to have someone reveal deep trade secrets, wholly, ya know, and not keep them all to ones lonely self, so we benefit, and then with that you would, very lovely Tinka, Al
Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very (Reader) 12/17/2004
This is Beautifully written and so heartfelt, questions held and asked time and time again. Something unsaid that could turn this whole thing around. I feel this one so truly and must tell you, you are loved by many. Many. Remember that always.

God Bless You
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 12/17/2004
Only FOOL'S Never Make Mistakes!!

Reviewed by Mr. Ed 12/17/2004
We all need those silent moments once in awhile, Tinky. And then we eventually realize, we are who we are, and we do the best we can.

Hope the lights come back soon!
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 12/17/2004
I have found that when we look at ourselves first in the mirror then we can better understand our fellow man. This is an revealing write and one not too many dare to do.
Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain 12/17/2004

"It's always darkest before the dawn" my friend - God has a plan for all of us! One terrific write!!

Best wishes,

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 12/17/2004

O, I wish that I could reach through this computer screen and give you a warm hug! This letter ripped my heart out; I am sorry you are having so much in the way of pain and sadness! But I appreciate you sharing your thoughts; this is a powerful, very eye-opening retrospective look at your deepest feelings. This was very hard for me to read, but I appreciate the time you took to express your feelings. May the pain soon subside; and may you call on The One who CAN take pain away: JESUS! I will pray for youp peace of mind Tinks!

(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))) *one can never have too many, i always say! i am a good hugger!* and much love, your friend in america, karen lynn in texas. :( >tears <

if you ever want to talk, you know where to email me. i will listen!
Reviewed by George Jackson 12/17/2004
Tinka, never feel guilty about loving another, never doubt that we all make mistakes, we'd hardly be human if we did not. True sorrow brings true forgiveness from God. I have read much of your poetry and I seriously doubt that you are as bad as you believe yourself to be in this writing, which I liked very much. Thank you for sharing it.
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