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Ian R Thorpe

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Member Since: Before 2003

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Books
· Age Of Certainty

· Age Of Certainty

· Blöd Ties

· The Best Of Boggart Blog (vol 1)

· Dimensions of Mystery

· A Two Faced Poet

· Millennium Dawn (anthology)

· A Stroke of Luck


Short Stories
· Bloodaxe Corner

· The Kiss

· Psycho Benefit Fraud

· The Vegetarian Shoemaker Of Barking

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #7

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #3 (Adult Humour)

· The King of the Ribble Delta Blues Singers (humour)

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 19

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 18

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 17


Articles
· Freedom Of Speech And Information - Why It Is So Important

· The Science Fraud: Many Scientific Research Papers Are Pure Gobbledegook

· Maybe You Should Think About Getting a Tinfoil Hat After all

· Merry Atheistmas

· High Brasil: Fairy Tale Or Atlantis

· Captive Minds And Intellectual Cowardice

· Is The Universe Helping Us Think

· Deliberately Wrecking Our Environment

· Why War Is Inevitable

· Helping The Mind Cope With Stress


Poetry
· We Made Love

· The Hands Of Old People

· Time Travellers

· The Pompous Toad

· Bye Bye Blackbird (parody)

· Sleepless Nights Of A Little boy

· Fitness Fanatics Blues

· The Goddess - Anima Mundi

· Spider

· Different Clothes

         More poetry...
News
· Seasons Greetings

· Poetry Life and Times Interviews Janet Caldwell

· Ian Thorpe on Christian Radio. Unbelieveable

· Season's Greetings

· July Poetry Life and Times

· Poetry Life and Times

· Ian's Audio online at last (specially for halloween)

Ian R Thorpe, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

  The Best of 2004 - not a poem
by Ian R Thorpe
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Not rated by the Author.

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Recent poems by Ian R Thorpe
•  African Ambition
•  Sandanista
•  THEM (poem noir)
•  A Chronicle of Decay
•  Songs of Glory (anti - war)
           >> View all 183


A reprise of my best quotes and one liners on the AD front page in 2004. A nice way to round off the year I think.
Best Wishes
Ian


Happy New Year to all of you - here are a few siles, guaranteed to break the ice at parties.......


Antiquarians are horrified because following the fighting around Bhagdad soldiers sprayed paint on the ziggaurat of Ur. Don't they know many people reach for a ziggaurat


I read in a gossip mag that when Catherine Zeta Jones had her baby her husband was beside her all the time - he was in the next bed having his eyes done.


I though I should call my oldest friend and ask how he is. The problem is I've known him so long I can't remember who he is. Its OK though, he can't remember who he is either.


Have you ever thought that maybe the people you pay to tell you how mad you are could actually be madder than you?


When shrinks insist you are mad it is because they are jealous that The Voices only talk to you.


Fundamentalist scientists claim they have discovered the names of Biblical characters encoded in human chromosomes. Apparently it is xx, Eve; xy, Adam; and yyy, Delilah.


Looks like George Dubya's chances of re-election are caught between Iraq and a hard place


In Bill Clinton's new book he gives complete details of his relationship with Monica. It's on the shelves on Tuesday....in the corridor on Wednesday, on the table on Thursday etc.....


As the Wimbledon Tennis tournament approaches a climax a bizarre fact struck me. Did you know all the male champions of the last few years have been witches? Remember a couple of years ago, that guy Goran? Even he's a witch.


Claudio Monteverdi, founding father of the Baroque movement in music was a firm believer in reincarnation. On his deathbed he said "don't go away I'll be Bach in a while."


I said to my sweetie, "if life were a theme park you would be my favourite ride."


A British Navy spokesman commenting this week on a decision to allow a Satanist to practice his religion on board ship said "there is not an evil bone in his body."....Well of course not, they are all in a coffin under his bunk..


Bottled water is so fashionable. Every Spa town in Britain has its own brand - except the most famous spa of all, renowned around the world since Roman times. So if people are crazy for Buxton Water, Stretton Water, Ashbourne Water, Tonbridge Water and Harrogate Water how come they aren't queueing to drink Bath water?


Loss of liberty is the price we pay for freedom:
Alan Bennett


I love wannabe TV show auditions. Have you noticed the presenters always tell nervous contestants "just go in and be yourself." Which totally ignores the fact that everyone there desperately wants to be someone else.


I'm trying to lose weight and have had to go on two diets.... I was not getting enough food on the first one.


A British Navy spokesman commenting this week on a decision to allow a Satanist sailor to practice his religion on board ship said "there is not an evil bone in his body."....Well of course not, they are all in a coffin under his bunk.


The 45 rpm record was fifty years old this year. Who would have though that seven inckhes of plastic could give so much pleasure.


As the festive season approaches remember, outside every fat person is an even fatter person trying to get in.


AND FINALLY
Forget the madmen and the warlords, the real danger is posed by the truth tellers.




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Reviewed by Helga Ross 1/8/2005
My fav---toss up between:

Have you ever thought that maybe the people you pay to tell you how mad you are could actually be madder than you?

When shrinks insist you are mad it is because they are jealous that The Voices only talk to you.

Happy New Year, You!

Reviewed by Jane Rodway 1/4/2005
These were such fun- I needed the laugh today!! :)
Reviewed by Nordette Adams 1/4/2005
Thank you, Wicked, for the recap since I wasn't here for the first half of the year. :-) What a list of grins and chuckles!
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 1/2/2005
Very interesting articles indeed. Love this.

Happy New Year, Ian!

Sandie Angel a.k.a. Sandie May Angel :o)
Reviewed by Donna Quesinberry 12/30/2004
cute and fun

thanks,
d.
Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson 12/30/2004
wow...with all that said may the next year bring you many many many more

BigSmiles thank for sharing!!!
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 12/30/2004
I loved this,
thank you for sharing it
God Bless
Michelle~
Reviewed by Sara Coslett 12/30/2004
LOL...you are too funny. Now I'm anxious to get to 2005 to see what new gems you can come up with.

Happy New Year!

Love,
Sara
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 12/30/2004
Thanks for the smile!!

Happy New Year Buddy!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 12/30/2004
Okay I found every line of this very funny especially the thing about the shrinks. Mine just hate it when my voices don't talk to him. And the one about the oldest friend.
Reviewed by Sue Hess 12/30/2004
too cool!
Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers 12/30/2004
I said to my sweetie, "if life were a theme park you would be my favourite ride."

I could see this being the hit of the party! Ofcourse...it's better to say it to Your sweetie than somebody elses!

Happy New Year Ian!

Lisa
Reviewed by Anna Marie Fritz (Reader) 12/30/2004
My favorite is the "Diet" one.

Books by
Ian R Thorpe



Blöd Ties





A Stroke of Luck





Millennium Dawn (anthology)

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