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Mr. Ed

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· 1,810 titles
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Member Since: Apr, 2003

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· My Dog Is My Hero

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

· Mystery of Madera Canyon

· Cemetery Island

· Gold River Canyon

· Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

Short Stories
· The Easter Skunk

· The Dog At The Drive-Thru Window

· Home For The Holidays

· Two Bonded Street Orphans, In From The Cold

· A Survivor's Tale

· Pigs, Turtles, and Bugs!

· Gentle Cemetery Dog Finally Safe

· Freezing, Starving, and Scared

· A Home For The Holidays

· The Dog On The Tracks

· I Am a Dog, Not a Thing

· Ghost Dog Rescued From Hot Dog Stand

· February is 'National Spay/Neuter Awareness' Month

· The 2014 Home 4 The Holidays Campaign

· Saving Our Canine Vets, This Veterans Day

· November is 'Adopt-A-Senior-Pet' Month

· National Pit Bull Awareness Day

· Keep Your Pets Safe This Halloween

· October is 'Adopt-A-Dog' Month

· Pet Theft Is On The Rise

· A Walk With Dogs

· Earth Day Blues

· What Have We Become

· The Victims of Our Cruelty

· The Shredding Machine

· Happy Easter From Valentino

· A Woodland Chat

· Happy First Day of Spring!

· Mud Pups

· Our Self-Centered Society

         More poetry...
· Chicken Soup for the Soul: Loving Our Dogs

· The Daily Mews

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Another Review For Curious Creatures-Wondrous Waifs

· Recipient of the 2006 Merial Human-Animal Bond Award

· International Writing Award

· My Animal Book Wins an Award

Mr. Ed, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

by Mr. Ed
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  A Walk With Dogs
•  Earth Day Blues
•  What Have We Become
•  The Victims of Our Cruelty
•  The Shredding Machine
           >> View all 1,516



For AD Member Kate Burnside’s

Iceberg Poem Collection


 “You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it,
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,
Now, you’re paralyzed.”


Rod Temperton,




Icebergs are truly dynamic

Icebergs are extremely cool

But the idiot posing for this pic

Has got to be one chilly ass fool


Since he was a charter member

Of the Polar Bear Club in Illinois

He decided a picture with an iceberg

Would surely bring him great joy


As his wife sped on ahead

He brought out his inner tube

And he quickly got into the water

Before his feet turned ice blue


Unfortunately he was chilling fast

And his body was getting numb

Sometimes he truly couldn’t believe

Just how whacky he was - and dumb


I guess he thought this picture

Would fill his heart with glee

But his body became so chilled

Only frosty icicles could he pee


And some of you probably think

That he was completely naked I’d suspect

But he really did keep his boxer shorts on

Out of a genuine aquatic creature respect


He really didn’t want to gross out

Any seals swimming by underneath

And he surely didn’t want his blubber

To attract any sharp killer whale teeth


But soon after he took this very chilling shot

A magnificent Humpback whale swam by

He frigidly and clumsily missed that shot

And now big iceberg teardrops did he cry


His wife’s in the picture background

All bundled up warmly in that warm kayak

When she saw the ice forming on his body

She hit him with her paddle – C-R-A-C-K


As he wrapped himself up very tight

In a huge warm ship’s sauna towel

He raised his icy blue lips to the heavens

And like the chilly arctic wolf - he howled


It took him three days and nights

On their Alaskan vacation cruise

To finally warm up enough again

To enjoy more of his ice-cold brew


The majesty of Alaska is truly breathtaking

And to journey back up there he can’t wait

But I’d bet the next time he keeps his clothes on

So he’ll be able to enjoy a far less chilling fate



©2005, Eddie ‘The Iceberg’ Kostro





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Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 1/27/2005
Silly me... I thought people on a cruise STAYED ON THE BOAT!! Jaysus! It's you, isn't it? Huh? Huh?... sounds just like something you'd do... GRiiiiiiiiN ! katy xox. p.s. thanks for the 'head's up' on the underware... I'll stop straining my eyes! hehe...
Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart 1/26/2005
I've got a caption for your picture, Ed: "Five more minutes of this and I won't even need a vasectomy!"
Reviewed by jude forese 1/26/2005
must say, has a very chilling affect ...
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 1/26/2005 are too hiLARious!! too funny to review; am laughing up a storm here....thanks for the grins! LOL

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :D

i am a keepin' this one; this is too good! LOL
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 1/26/2005

Laffin' too hard to review--BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Damn, that's cold. :) Glad I'm in warmer climes :)

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Reviewed by George Jackson 1/26/2005
Excellent, Ed. You do know how to spin a tale.
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 1/26/2005
Well, this is more like it, Ed, and is enough to warm the cockles of any girl's heart with your tomfoolery!! Unfortunately, though, after this kind of prank, cockles and muscles may be sadly missing, frost-bitten or seriously wasted - did you ever get them back?!! Boom boom!! Thanks, Ed... this is far more entertaining than my specs-on serious attempts. Hey, do you think my tutors would notice if I substitute this in my folder instead of all my other stuff?! They may not even notice... Thank you too, for all your great research, King of the KiKis (Arctic Terns - yep, you sure are having one here!) You're a Pal! LOL Krevass Kate xx
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 1/26/2005
Bet "his" butt was quite cold, as that seems to be the only thing hanging in the water...ed
Reviewed by Nordette Adams 1/26/2005
WOW! Some ad. LOL. As usual, a pleasure, Ed.
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 1/26/2005
I guess he gave new meaning to blue balls.
Reviewed by Paul Williams 1/26/2005
Ha Ha ha lol, (n)ice one Ed.

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 1/26/2005
I bet you broke the shrinking record by!!

And Rebecca bought a new minisized tweezer for research!!

Love Stinky-Pooh
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 1/26/2005
LOL Kool Kold Kate, Krack with a Kricket bat.

This is great old chap.
A Killer Kostro..
Reviewed by George Carroll 1/26/2005
A blow struck for sanity. LOL
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 1/26/2005
Your writes are always fascinating and educational. Enjoyed this Ed.

Books by
Mr. Ed

Where The Redwing Sings

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My Dog Is My Hero

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Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

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Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

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Cemetery Island

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Gold River Canyon

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Mystery of Madera Canyon

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  1. Summer Doth Approach...
  2. My Ass Is Grass
  3. My Good Friday Procedure
  5. Sunny Days and Mondays
  6. The Toilet Seat
  7. Funny Bones Claire
  8. What is it with women...?
  9. Get a haircut & a real job, ya hippie...
  10. A Guitar
  11. Missed again...
  12. Ah, Shucks
  13. Just Around The Corner
  14. Cell Phone Blues
  15. A Cool Guy
  16. An expose' of the Pines Devil...
  17. Interaction
  18. Mushmouth Kostro...
  19. Historic storm a bust...
  20. Finally looks like some significant snow i

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