Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard…?
Did this fact ever plague you too?
I always did wonder this since I was but two,
Watched Johnny Weismuller, the best Tarzan there was,
He never did shave; he never did groom himself,
Yet, his hair did stay in one place,
And oh, how did his teeth stay so perfect…?
He must have used elephant cream,
On his hair, as they had in Africa no moose,(sic)
Even when the natives were about to put his head in a noose,
He did look his best with nary a hair out of place,
It’s as if maybe he did actually come from outer space…
How did he not fall from those vines?
Some must have been weak; some must have had spines,
And when the lions did wrap their teeth around his arms,
Did you ever notice any blood, how did he keep them from harm…?
Raised by a gorilla, how did he learn to speak English?
And sound like an American from the Bronx in New York City,
Broken English they do speak in the Bronx even today,
Sometimes one cannot even figure out what they are trying to say…
© ed ~ 1/26/05