A Dose of Stupidity
by Janet Brice Parker
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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I was ready to go. dressed to the nines,
applied extra make-up and was looking so fine.
A TV taping with me as the star.
I’d talk about my book, small town gal who’d gone far.
I checked myself in the looking glass
I thought I was stylin’ I thought I was class.
Then, suddenly I felt that pain in my back.
Better pop my pills, give my back some slack.
So, I hurriedly opened the bottle of pills.
They were small and white and had just been refilled.
I grabbed my purse, turned on my cell phone,
let the dog out then gave him his bone.
Suddenly I noticed a sensation of thirst.
I could have drunk a lake until my stomach burst.
I questioned the thirst, why so sudden and intense?
I drank some water, but I couldn’t be quenched.
I began to feel odd, grabbed onto the counter.
Maybe it was blood sugar, I’d eat a banana.
While I was still lucid, I remembered the pills.
They looked like some others for different ills.
Oh, no I didn’t! I couldn’t have!
Oh my Lord no! Which pills did I grab?
Four pills for back pain were like nothing at all.
Four pills of the other...I’d better make a call!
I called Ed at work, “I’ve taken the wrong pills
I’ll call 911 Gotta go, I’m gettin’ ill”
Scared my poor man within an inch of his life.
He said, “I’m coming! Oh, Lord, help my wife.”
911 said, "stay on the line, now what did you swallow?"
“Calm down, take deep breaths Please don't holler.”
“The ambulance has left and is headed your way.”
“The medic is coming too” “Yes, he’s in my driveway”
No, that’s not him! The truck says, Wadell Pools.
We don’t have a pool, I said. (This woman is a fool)
He’s a volunteer for us and he happens to drive
whatever car he has. He’ll help you stay alive.
So a man with an orange bag walked in my door
took my blood pressure I could hear sirens roar.
I asked the man, “Am I gonna die?”
“Way-ell some uv um do” Who WAS this guy?!
Then up drove the fire truck and up drove a cop,
up drove the ambulance, small-town men on their jobs.
All of those men looking down at me. I said, “I’ve got to go and be on TV!”
“What cha gonna do on a TV show?”
I wrote a book and I’ve just got to go!”
“Man oh man” one of them said, “I’ll be!”
We didn’t know we’d be workin’ on uh celebrity.
I began to feel like I didn’t care. TV or no TV,
I was going to live “up there.”
They took me outside, I felt relaxed and cool.
I passed by the truck that said, “Waddel Pools”
I passed by the fire truck, big shiny red.
I passed by the police car then I passed out in a bed.
I was strapped in an ambulance and moving in slow motion.
I was going somewhere ‘cause I took the wrong potion.
Ed was waiting, dear man that he is.
I saw gray hair growing bit by bit.
My heart had slowed almost to a stop.
I had no blood pressure. It had dropped like a rock.
Six hours I lay there on the edge of life,
gradually coming back into the light.
I finally made it and they unhooked all the tubes.
I’m a tough old bird with a new point of view.
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|Reviewed by Cynth'ya firstname.lastname@example.org
|Nice thing about being a tough bird. . . we know where to find all the best bird seeds (of wisdom!) blessin's
love you Sis Janet,
|Reviewed by m j hollingshead
|whew!! glad you are okay|
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
|To laugh at oneself is the best thing of all. Wow, what a pulse pounding tale--glad it turned out okay--
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. FANTASTIC write!
|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|That's epic, Janet. A great story, written by a surviver.
|Reviewed by Dave Harm
|It always healthy to laugh at our own stupidity...|
|Reviewed by C. McGovern-Bowen
|Wow, nice capture, Janet!
Enjoy that new point of view...
|Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson
|scary story/poem turned good
glad everything turned out fine
"old bird" hahahaha thats cute!!!
|Reviewed by Phillip William Allen
|Glad you made it. To much of the wrong stuff can send you skyward a bit early. Hope to can reschedule tv show|
|Reviewed by J. Allen Wilson
|Good to know that all is well in this event. Written with clasic humor in a bad situation..take care and glad to see that you are alright.
|Reviewed by Michelle Close Mills
|Oh wow. I'm not sure how long ago this happened, but it was an experience that gave you alot to write about. Wonderful humor! Enjoyed! Michelle|
|Reviewed by George Jackson
|Heehee, not sure what to make of this, but it sure was entertaining=0).|
|Reviewed by Felix Perry
|Still making us smile with that wonderful sense of humour.
|Reviewed by M. B.
|Wow, my adrenaline was running throughout this entire read... this is a superbly portrayed and riveting on-the-edge-of-your-seat piece.|
|Reviewed by Sandie Angel
|Oh wow! What an adventure! What were the pills that you had taken? Hope you still get your TV live about your book. This one is a true story to tell on its own. I'm just glad you are okay. God Bless!
Sandie Angel a.k.a. Sandie May Angel :o)
|Reviewed by ~ Chanti
|I bet you belted this out in no time at all. I love how you have handled a potentially serious situation with such humour and wit. It is just brilliant! I love it!
|Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
|But what pill did you take? This is interesting write her.|
|Reviewed by Michael Charles Messineo
|Janet, an excellent recount of your moment in time. It will also become your opening story when you finally get to do your interview...
|Reviewed by William Bonilla
you sho nough suckered me into this here one
but I really enjoyed it
thanks for all the suspense
William ....Peace & love
|Reviewed by jude forese
|a close call indeed! i just can't bear the thought of another dead poet who's about to be recognized ... glad you ok ... excellent poem, by the way ...|
|Reviewed by Lori Moore
|I'm glad that you're a tough bird... This is a fine write.|
|Reviewed by Vicky Jeter
|Hope they rebook the interview for your book, Vicky|
|Reviewed by Ryan Kelly
|Glad all is well. Heck of a write. I only take one pill a day, but because I can't remember what I did a minute ago, I HAVE TO write it on my notebook. I'd like to eliminate that one pill, but going from 240 pounds down to 170 didn't solve the blood pressure problem. I was sure that it would, but no way Jose. Anyhow, glad all is well.|
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|Janet I hope this is something in the past? It's
a fantastic write about it whenever it was. Wow!
I hope you will be more careful!;-)
what a scare! email me!;-)
|Reviewed by Janet Parker
|Hello, fellow poets. I apologize for my lack of comments the last couple of days. This poem explains. Janet|