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George M Jackson

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Member Since: Dec, 2003

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This Bondage Of Self
by George M Jackson
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Not rated by the Author.
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Several months ago, before I joined the Den, I had just started AA. I wrote this prior to doing my Fourth and Fith Steps. Wasn't writing as well then, but did write this. I feel differently now, but wanted to share it anyway. Just got my 6 month Token =0).

I do know my faults, my shortcomings


I see them every day in every mirror


That looks back at me.


And I pray to a God I struggle to believe in


To help me understand Him because


That is the only place I feel there


Is any hope for me, the only means


Of escape from this creative suicide.


 


This lingering pain that never rests for long…


And I say to my sponsor, my navigator


This is what I did today


This is who I hurt today


Why do I do these things?


How do I escape this bondage of self


I use as a mask to hide my compulsive


Inability to leave that bottle alone?


 


Pray, he says, the answers will come


Thy will, not mine, be done


And just keep coming back


You are not alone but you


Are sick of heart and must


Learn to ask for help and if He


Were small enough to understand, then


He would not be big enough to do the job.


 


Happiness is an inside job, he says, it is


There you must look if you wish to be free


Of the chains that bind you, it is our secrets


That makes us sick and you must let go of


The past, face the shadows that choke you


And force them into the light, growth is


Always painful but these are the lessons


That lead to the salvation of troubled souls.


 


And so I pray…


 


 


END


 


“This Bondage Of Self”


 



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Reviewed by m j hollingshead
powerful read
Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson
wow truth and power and a yearning for answers
which will come
one day at a time
you are mindful and that is a good thing
congrats and keep up the good work
personally and beyond
take care bets wishes too
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Good for you, George! Am so happy! I pray you reach your success in stopping this alcohol problem; that is a courageous step to admit you need help and then act on trying to stop! You are in my prayers and thoughts, buddy! Congrats on reaching the sixth month milestone; that is quite an achievement! And keep on going to the meetings; it will help in the long run!!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by jude forese
excellent poem! congrats in continuing to achieve your goal ...
Reviewed by Lori Moore
Congrats on your victory.
Reviewed by Dave Harm
Congrats on six months. And your sponsor is right keep going to AA. When struggling, go more. You'll always find an open door. Recovery, if it is meant to last should be painful. Let it all go. I remember when I let go of some of my worst stuff, AA'ers laughed at me. I didn't understand until a year or so later, when I was laughing at others. We're all insane. We all did crazy things, but we're trying to make a better life. Don't rush it, don't look for it, don't analyze it. Just enjoy it! Best wishes, Dave
Reviewed by Kate Clifford
Congrats on your 6 month token. My brother has dealt with this addiction and I watched the affects first hand. I never judged him knowing he had to work through this on his own knowing I would be there for him when he needed me, but knowning when not to be.....

It is not an easy road you are on. Wonderful write that I hope you share with other AA members. Knowing the weakness in another often helps us to keep our strength when going through such trails. You have shown incredible strength in sharing this.

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Happiness is an inside job, he says, it is
There you must look if you wish to be free

I think I agree with him, George, and I think this is a wonderful courageous poem, and Kudos for posting it, and for your inner strength to move onward and upward to your 6th month.

Reviewed by E T Waldron
This takes the kind of courage inspired by the Creator!
I applaud you and your determination!Excellent write George!;-)

etw
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Thank you for this most insightful read George!!

You are in my prayers my friend!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Always painful but these are the lesson. That lead to the salvation of troubled souls. Praying is really the best answer to all of it. A most inspiring poem.
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