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Tinka Boukes

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Sin Of False Play
by Tinka Boukes

Sunday, March 06, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Note To My Friends:

 

I guess stress got the better end of me

My body started to react to that... and a spastic colon to go with it!!

And some “womanly”  thingies that’s changing too!!
I truly feel like a train ran over me... my body aches and it feels like
burning flames pulsating inside close to my kidneys.


The doctor told me it's all related to stress and you know what!!
Hopefully I will feel better soon ...he gave me some medication


And heavy painkillers…so I am a little “High” at the moment… lol!!

 

Love (*'.;.'*) Tinka

**********grrrrr**********

 

“Sin Of False Play”

 

From dark abyss

In a cloud of tears and sorrow

I call with a screaming voice within

How many times

Do I have to endure this shit

This pain

Didn’t the death of Jesus

Set me free

I know I am nothing

And to nothing

I have to return

But why

Rub it in huh….

Why?

Why make me weep

In abyss so deep

I write not of love today

But of which I suffer for so long

And foolish jealousy…and mockery

By the sin

Of false play

Just tell me

How long can this go on

How long

Can I still with stand this?

I know I am a nothing

And to nothing

I have to return

 

Copyright © 2005 Tinka Boukes
 


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Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very (Reader) 3/14/2005
Boy Tinka I am there right with you on this feeling here. I am nothing! Kinda what I told our one and only "now that's God" the other day. Why the constant circle going no where no matter how hard I try. Over and over round and round. What did I do so wrong and When? Got ya loud and clear on this one. but you know I'm sure you know not our time and we're doing this for some reason. At least you got drugs to keep you flyin' for a while. : ) I'm doing it straight! No fair!) : We'll hang on to each other here. You've got a good loving group that knows better than life does right now. You are feeling this cuz someone needs your talent and flowing words to help them through it. Write the words being given to you right now then hi ho hi ho it's off to happiness you'll go & with no pills.
Traceyxo oatmeal no sugar as thick as you can handle it. works great& magnesium calcium, zinc aka dolomite viamins. Take it easy.
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 3/7/2005
The world loves yer Tinks. And God will see you through.
Who's hair would you no the numbers of.

I sure pray, for you to find a way out of your maze..
Reviewed by Vesna Vanessa 3/6/2005
I know I am a nothing
And to nothing
I have to return

..first of all..YOU are anything BUT nothing..OK?..WE are all children of the Most High..( so please be 'high' about that
fact..lol)..secondly you are just BURNING up karma.. ( residue from past lives..) thirdly..you will rise like a phoenex right from your OWN ashes..then..lol..look out world!..

Great work..
ps You will be better soon..claim radiant health by making the intent..remember..'ask and you shall receive'..ya gotta believe 'Him' OK?..he didn't say that for nothing..

{{{hugs}}}

Vesna :)

Reviewed by Paul Nipperess BMin 3/6/2005
:)

Hi Tinka,

..... healing is within ourselves ..... we just have
to ASK Jesus for it ..... no, DEMAND it.

If our faith is truly strong, we can EXPECT to be healed.

Living up to our end of the agreement takes some effort
and courage, but if we can honestly say we did our best
to follow the covenant, then we will be blessed and healed.

YOU, Tinka ... just need the courage to ask ..... :)

Have a nice day.

yogi

:)
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 3/6/2005
poignant read. hope you are feeling better
Reviewed by jude forese 3/6/2005
i know, it's the painkillers talking ... stress can burn us out sometimes ... just try to remain as positive as possible ... i know you can ...
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 3/6/2005
Wild N Off The Burnen Wall...

TRASK
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 3/6/2005
you are feeling this way becaues you are letting things get to you. you need to lighten up and think of the GOOD things in life. (I need to do the same at times!) so sorry you are ailing; you are in my prayers! please feel better soon!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in america, karen lynn in texas. :(
Reviewed by Sara Coslett 3/6/2005
Tinka, you need to stop dwelling on the bad. Hell, I wish I could walk along the beach everyday of my life. The glass does not always have to be half empty. Sometimes it is half full, and half is better than none. ~ Sara
Reviewed by Zenith Elliott 3/6/2005
Stress can be the bodies worst enemy, I know this may sound cliche but positive thinking is a powerful weapon. Don't allow mental or physical problems to take control, I say this because I know...I have had my share of issues and have had to shake them off by thinking positive and forcing myself to find all that is good. My prayers are with you, my friend! ~Z~
Reviewed by John Bidwell 3/6/2005
Ah Tinka, you are something very special to your friends.
Very special indeed.
Just remember that sweetie.
:)
John
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 3/6/2005
My cousin told me Friday that she felt something else was wrong and her doctor had not read the tests properly. So I told her to go to the trauma unit but she died last night and that upsets me because I can't help but feel somehow she may have made had the idiot read the tests right.
Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain 3/6/2005
Tinka,

Another very emotional write my friend, written with deep sadness - but don't forget your friends as we do care!!

Best to you,

Robert
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 3/6/2005
Send some of those drugs my way...ed
Reviewed by George Jackson 3/6/2005
Tinka, you have so much going for you. I know it may not seem that way, but you have friends, talent, and a warm heart. Hang in there=0).
Reviewed by E T Waldron 3/6/2005
See Tinks everyone loves you and has given good advice! I add mine
knowing how you feel having the poor health and daily pain to understand yours. So I give you a big (((hug))) and tell you to keep on writing, keep on loving, keep on trusting "Him" because my dear, keeping on, is the best we can do! Easy on the pain meds;-)I had to give them up years ago,since I fight pain every day.

love,
eileen
Reviewed by L. Figgins 3/6/2005
Nordette is wise-take care of YOU. You are precious and deserve just as much(more actually)time as all the chores and people you care for. Woman's job to nurture and care, but how can you continue to give without restoring your own soul and eqilibrium? It may be time to let go of some things, to make room for other things that make you HAPPY. Your body is screaming at you to take care of you. On the other side of this S--- is strength and power and a whole new chapter of life...love, lin
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 3/6/2005
Lighten up, Tinka!! Deal with it. I hate to sound unsympathetic because I am not, but lefe throws everybody twists and turns, we just have to learn how to cope. Of course, I think this is the way you compe, so forget everything I said.
Reviewed by Nordette Adams 3/6/2005
OKay, girlfriend, time to slow down. Yoga, meditation, prayer. Mozart and praise music for you. Good expression here. Fill up lots of journals, Tinks.
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 3/6/2005
First, you are not a 'nothing,' and second we've all had our terrible episodes with stress - part of this old human life, me thinks. Hopefully, the medication will get you back to a more calmed state, Tinky. And those wonderful walks along your ocean beach should help, too, as long as you stop and smell Creation along the way!
Reviewed by Dave Harm 3/6/2005
Strong "open" write... at times, when things seem like they can't get much worse, somehow they do. I learned years ago, I needed and still need to be able to "get into the silence." Times, where I can listen to my soul. No radios, TVs, or thoughts, just quiet, just peace. And if that don't work, just tell the Lord, "Enough, I can't handle no more." God Bless, Dave...
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