I Break My Pen
by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
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I AM OKAY.
This just came to me, and so, I write.
"I BREAK MY PEN"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Taste me on the back of your tongue
As you dine on my words;
Know each one was prepared for you,
With the salt from the tears I've cried
Since you read another--
Another poet has captured
I can't compete with her meter
Or perfection in rhyme.
I'll never be as good as her,
I see it in your eyes--
And so it is, I break my pen
I'll not write any more.
I gave you everything I had
And I am empty now
Of all feeling and emotion;
It is time to move on--
And as you read her like a book
From cover to cover,
Remember I was lovely once,
And I knew how to write;
No poet loved or wrote harder--
Please don't forget my name.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i be writin an singin
on my crazy ship of dreams
nobody hear the madness
of my de loooooo si on alllll screams
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(C) Copy written, 6 March, 2005, by Karla Dorman.
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|Reviewed by ~Indigo~ Elga
Break as many pens as you like, if I were closer, you would be handed ten times more to write with ! You amaze me with your versatility... if this is you feeling empty now, keep going, for your emptiness is nothing short of superb. Truly Beautiful Karla.
Elga your friend in South Africa.
|Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very (Reader)
|This is one for me I can tell. Thank you for writing it so true and bluntly for me the lifeless no talent girl. that didn't want to look like I was feeling sorry for myself! PERFECTION!
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|You may have broken your pen - but this is one heck of a poem.|
|Reviewed by Sherry Heim
|This is an excellent poem, Karla though it really tugs at the heart.
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Although sad...this is well penned Karla!!
|Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
|You should have cruises on prescriptions.
How could we forget your name Fred...
|Reviewed by Joseph* OneLight*®
This is sad but so very well written
and the concept is brilliant.
|Reviewed by Kate Burnside
|I should jolly well hope that this is NOT autobiographical - although with your passion and ability to live and breathe through your writes, we might have trouble reconciling that thought with the authenticity that Nordette rightly speaks about here. This is awesomely sharp and cuts to the chase and the quick, Karla! The imaging is like razors! You demonstrate amply here what it means to be able write "in an assumed poetic voice" on the one hand, and yet in my experience we can sometimes use our writing as a thinly veiled disguise of deep, personal feelings as well. It is difficult to know which is which as the writer, let alone the reader, when it is done with such feeling, as here! All I can say is "Phew!!" cos if I thought you truly WERE going to break your pen, I would have to come out in sympathy and break mine too!! Just NEVER do that! You are one poet extraordinaire - and never more so that when you are busy proclaiming that you are not!! Excellent work, thankyou, Kate xx|
|Reviewed by Carole Mathys
|I really enjoyed this write, Karla....
|Reviewed by SilverCeltic Moon
|You will never NOT be lovely...and this proves you can write! ;) silver|
|Reviewed by Kate Clifford
|Enjoyed the capture of emotion you have done within this write.|
|Reviewed by Lee Garrett
|I like the focus of your poem, highlighting the umbilical cord between what we feel and are--and what we write. We all want to be read, and remembered, and to count, and that means wearing for garments the secrets of the hidden heart. It is the price our Muse demands.|
|Reviewed by George Jackson
|Yeah, I never know what I'm going to write until I sit down at the keyboard. Every poem I've written on the Den never had a rough draft, and I sometimes wonder where it comes from. Great poem.|
|Reviewed by Nordette Adams
|Wonderful poem, Karla. Glad you warned it's not autobiographical. Such an authentic ring here. ~~~Nordette|
|Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen
|An excellent write Karla keep em coming
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|Brilliant poem that sea voyage did you good Lady Karla!
I know you're dreading work though, aren't you;-)
|Reviewed by Michelle Mills
|AW...this is great! I wish things just 'came' to me that way! I usually mull my stuff over in my head for a few days. Blessings and hugs, Michelle|
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Powerfully emotive write; I hope you don't break your pen!! Keep on writing; your writing talents continue to develop and soar! EXCELLENT job, Karla; BRAVA to a fine effort! Well done!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :D
|Reviewed by Ed Matlack
|And you were WHO...? Never to worry,
Never to fret,
Your name I will never forget...
Ed & Rufuz
|Reviewed by Zenith Elliott
|Wow, this is some write, my friend! Filled with emotion that eminates from the page, well done! ~Z~|