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Ed Matlack

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Member Since: Aug, 2003

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Featured Book
No Lawyer Necessary
by Burton Wolfe

How to use a spouse, relative, friend, or colleague as your agent to arrange health care and financial affairs for you, and how to represent you in legal dispute, when yo..  
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An art form...
by Ed Matlack
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Ed Matlack
•  Obligatory
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           >> View all 5,717

Ah self-gratification, might be the best thing since sex, LOL!

An art form…


Learned when I was twelve or so,

Not sure the exact way, just that I now know,

Got it down to a science do I now,

Most guys would call it an art form,

If nothing else it gets me quite warm,

And for all the world I really do love to perform…


Takes just a few minutes to accomplish,

A little lotion and can be filled a Petri dish,

We try to hide it from parents when kids,

But moms always know when changing sheets,

They always find out, but never say anything about what some do forbid… 


Do I need to go to confession?

I really do so with a great deal of discretion,

To some this art form can be called an obsession,

That may be when someone should be seen in the mental health profession…

                © ed ~ 3/15/05

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Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
heheheheheheheheheh...say NO more...guess Steve said it all!!

OH BOY!!!!!

Love Tinka ;p
Reviewed by Steve Patterson
hey Yank...
a right Handy poem you wrote here (or r u lefthanded?). anyway, glad these words could cum to u.

watch out tho... you could go blind or crazy. well, you already are crazy ...see what self satisfaction can do to you.
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Oh my and with five brothers I guess my mother never said a word but this is interesting Ed.
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Is this a quiz? If so, my answer is coloring my bed sheets in the dark with my crayons while drinking milk. I started doing this when I was 3, and I still do it; Rebecca gets very mad, too.

Did I win a prize or something?!
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Grandad Miller, Serial Killer by Mark Sutton

You'll never feel safe on your allotment again.....  
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