AuthorsDen.com   Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Neil Levin, iKaren Dunn, iKate Saundby, iNickolaus Pacione, iDonald Beaulieu, iBilly Allmon, iPeazy Monellon, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ed Matlack

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· 5,631 Titles
· 42,752 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
Distraction
by Pamela Ackerson

Family secrets, a gorgeous man with a wounded heart, and a young woman who is determined to get exactly what she wants.....  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
Ma William and Her Circle of Friends
by Giftus John

A story of life in a Caribbean island as portrayed by a shopkeeper and her "trusted freinds."..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members



Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Dog's World
  3.  It's All About Timing
  4.  Nuts
  5.  For Rent…Christmas Angel for Shoveling Sno
  6.  Like His Mother Used To Do
  7.  The Golden Years...
  8.  See what happens when you leave your child
  9.  The Land of Sandra Dee -- Anonymous author
  10.  Naughty or Nice...
  11.  Somebody Blinked
  12.  A Christmas Angel just for you…
  13.  If women had udders...!
  14.  Naughty Valentines Day Limericks
  15.  Milk
  16.  Confusion say: Man who scratch ass should
  17.  Historic storm a bust...
  18.  Unemployment (Satire)
  19.  I Am the Center of the Universe
  20.  Ode to Originality





Accident Avoidance
by Ed Matlack

Saturday, April 02, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Become a Fan

Recent poems by Ed Matlack
•  Puberty sucks...
•  To me he is my friend...
•  Update...
•  Historic storm a bust...
•  Finally looks like some significant snow is approaching…
           >> View all 5,606

Hopefully you get to see the picture that will eventually accompany this...


Accident Avoidance…


 


Can’t keep her mouth shut,


Wish she would just fall on her butt,


The doctor would then curtail her activities, yes cut,


Better to have in the car with me my mutt…


 


My blood pressure is elevated when she rides along,


She does give my car an element of “no class” when she is singing a song,


Fast am I to slam on the brake when off comes her seatbelt,


Knowing full well that I am doing something that is inherently wrong…


 


Perhaps someone will invent what this picture shows,


Sometimes I do wish I could fill her up with the gas hose,


Actually I don’t mind her mouth open when on me she does blow,


If she could do that all the time and not talk,


No tickets would my license reflect, no longer would I drive a wreck…


        © ed ~ 4/2/05


 


 


Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Ronald Hull 4/3/2005
Back seat drivers are at their worst in the front seat.

Ron
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 4/3/2005
Hey! Sherry has a good idea.
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 4/3/2005
And one must wonder exactly who you are referring to here, Ed - and wondering what she will think about this when she reads it!!

PS Just say it's your female boss who sometimes rides along with you on your deliveries - you might be able to wiggle out of this yet - Good Luck!
Reviewed by jude forese 4/3/2005
but hiw will you get your directions?
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 4/3/2005
(-)!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by William Bonilla 4/3/2005
know exactly what you mean Ed
they just don't seem to know
when to keep their traps shut
mine is always causing me
to make the wrong turns
then goes .....ooops!
pissing off unmercifully

William ......Peace Brother
Reviewed by J. Allen Wilson 4/2/2005
Ed, good sense tells me that I should avoid this comment like the plague, however, good sense is not always a trait that the male gender wears often...if we did, there would be fewer wars...and fewer reasons to die for macho sake...but I will admit...sometimes talking and driving can be hazardous to ones health.

Allen
Reviewed by Sherry Heim 4/2/2005
Ya gotta take the bitter with the sweet, Ed, LOL. Perhaps one day they will clone women from deaf/mutes and then both genders will be happy. Also they will add a cloning patch from a nymphomaniac just to sweeten the pot...ohhh did I really just say that??? Where has all the romance gone?? LOLOLOLOL
Take care,
Sherry
Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.