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Huda Orfali

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Member Since: Before 2003

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As I Lay Dying
by Huda Orfali
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Huda Orfali
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Waiting for deliverance

Voices in the distance
Become whispers
Laughter fades
Into whimpers
As I lay dying

My scream is silent
Yet I scream
My dream is silent
Yet I dream
As I lay dying

My lungs swell
With mechanical breath
Waiting for deliverance
Longing for death
As I lay dying

Silhouettes around me hover
Like a vision; like a dream
Sorrow in their bloodshot eyes
I utter a groan; a scream
As I lay dying

My voice dies unheard
As the breathing machine
Mechanically breathes life
Into my still chest
As I lay dying

© 2005 Huda Orfali
All Rights Reserved


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Reviewed by Amy Avatar
This one brings powerful emotions
to the surface. "As I Lay Dying"
touched me like no other death.
Amy Ramdass
Reviewed by Barbara Terry
This is a very tragic write, Huda. I hope that when it is my time to finally fo to rest, that I don't feel pain, and see the saddened looks on those around me.

Heartfelt and sad write, as only you can dear poet.

May the Lord Jesus bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and at your side constantly. With much love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little sister, Barbie

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher
This is very deeply touching poetry, wonderful done!
Reviewed by Kate Burnside
Think I have come at this back to front and have reviewed your collab with Peter on this issue first. Stark and penetrating, as such a dire situation might suggest. Well done, Huda. Worth exploring further. TY Kate xx
Reviewed by Cynth'ya
Living, like dying, should be treated with dignity and respect. I never hope a decision to "delayed" my arrival into from Paradise by a machine that will burden my family.

Wonderfully poignant piece Sis. Huda,
Reviewed by Muhammad Al Mahdi
My dream is silent
Yet I dream

I've read it again after a long time and I'm still deeply touched by its beauty and depth of feeling.
Reviewed by Peter Paton
You are fearless in your approach to life which is very commendable, and you are not afraid to tackle the thorny issues in our world with both compassion and decorum
Love and Peace
Reviewed by Debashish Haar
This is a very good poem. With a lot of thematic expectations, from the beginning to the end. Some of the images are shockingly beautiful, and some which look to be violently absent.

Reviewed by Mark Rockeymoore
what a graphic vision...reads like you took a moment, a probability (or future dream?) and realized it in the moment. i can see you closing your eyes and envisioning this...then opening them, and making it real, projecting outward through the word, and bringing us into your vision as well...
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Or even dead?

Paradox. Who is in charge God or man?
Reviewed by Michael Wells
I had to make that decision for my wife after the accident. It was the hardest thing I ever did and I still wonder what if?
Thank you poet for sharing this poem
Reviewed by M. B.
Ohhh Huda, what sorrow. What pain. What agony. What a wasted life beautifully portrayed. Your words conjure tragedy, horror... if only because the screams in your poem AS I LAY DYING, were never heard. Your poetry always moves me, Huda.

~ Mari
Reviewed by J. Allen Wilson
This write moved me well within your realm, and the vision thereof became clear. Wonderful piece on a much feared subject.

Reviewed by Sue Hess
this is excellent. i have avoided this issue but this poem is so expressive and lovely, i wouldn't have missed it. i too am a fan of anima so i liked the picture
Reviewed by Elena Padin
Very powerful and timely poem in light of Terry Schiavo's case. It also reminds me of the passing of my mother-in-law who just died at age 93 on 3/7 and my husband as her POA had to make a decision whether to take her off the life support machine.

Moving poem.

Reviewed by George Carroll
You grasp the futility in the dying persons mind. Well done
Reviewed by Lee Garrett
A strong poem, captivating imagery, a terrible plight made relevant by recent headlines. Science leaps so far ahead of morality that technological kindness is no kindness at all, offering no support to the spirit. (Loved the anime art work).
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Very chilling yet it has a very clear message.
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Chilling to contemplate--living yet not living

Timely, thought provoking, excellent write--

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :(
Reviewed by Dave Harm
Great poem... on a subject that will never go away... at least in this lifetime...
Reviewed by Felix Perry
This is well done dramatic write and I love the passion that you portray in it. Well done my friend.

Reviewed by Kate Clifford
Powerful write, death can be a blessing.
Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain

"As I Lay Dying" is a chilling write that defines dying - versed with startling imagery that pulls the reader into reality. This is superbly penned!!

Best to you,

Reviewed by Henry Stevens
Well done poem of a difficult subject. Henry
Reviewed by jude forese
Huda, you've succeeded in composing a powerful poem, not of death but of life ...
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Oh I ditto Eileen and Regis on this one!!

Thanks for sharing Huda!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Tristan Howards (Reader)
I couldn't find a relationship between this poem and the story that carries the same name. This poem reminds me of your story "Cabbie"
It's beautifully sad poem. I guess if I were in that situation I also would be screaming "Let me die"
God bless you
Reviewed by Chris Archer
you got us intrigued here. Is there anything else she is refering to rather than:
Waiting for deliverance
Longing for death

Very powerful poem, Huda. It is timely now with the case of terri schivo.
I guess that sums up your view on the issue.
Love, Chris

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
I just know what you are alluding to here, Huda. You have the gift. You grab your readers by the soul and compel them all to feel what you are sharing. I tell you. If they do not get it; it is their loss. And it's a huge one. Thank you, Huda. LOVE and peace to you. Regis.
Reviewed by E T Waldron
A haunting reminder of how we struggle to hold onto that last breath of life as it is taken from us...I also grasp the fact that you seem to be speaking out about the mechanical life saving methods that are so controversial in these past weeks. I am against these life saving methods and have a living will! I believe in God's everlasting life and abide in His plan!Well done Huda! Good to see you;-)!

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