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Mr. Ed

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Member Since: Apr, 2003

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· My Dog Is My Hero

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

· Mystery of Madera Canyon

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· Gold River Canyon

· Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

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· Two Bonded Street Orphans, In From The Cold

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· A Home For The Holidays

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· I Am a Dog, Not a Thing

· Ghost Dog Rescued From Hot Dog Stand

· February is 'National Spay/Neuter Awareness' Month

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· Saving Our Canine Vets, This Veterans Day

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· Keep Your Pets Safe This Halloween

· October is 'Adopt-A-Dog' Month

· Pet Theft Is On The Rise

· Another Lesson From A Dog

· Just Nature

· It's Poppy Time Once More

· Please Don't Worry So Much, H.P.

· Meatloaf Matlack

· A Walk With Dogs

· Earth Day Blues

· What Have We Become

· The Victims of Our Cruelty

· The Shredding Machine

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· Chicken Soup for the Soul: Loving Our Dogs

· The Daily Mews

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Another Review For Curious Creatures-Wondrous Waifs

· Recipient of the 2006 Merial Human-Animal Bond Award

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  Nice Kitty
by Mr. Ed
Monday, April 04, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  Another Lesson From A Dog
•  Just Nature
•  It's Poppy Time Once More
•  Please Don't Worry So Much, H.P.
•  Meatloaf Matlack
           >> View all 1,519


"Thou art the Great Cat, the Avenger of the Gods,

The Judge of Words, the President of the Sovereign Chiefs,

 And the Governor of the Holy Circle;

Thou art indeed...the Great Cat.”


 Inscription on the Royal Tombs at Thebes




My spouse seems to think I’ve gone too far

With my new top secret feline food formula

But I think the results have been phenomenal

And their growth rate has filled me with awe


These new large cats of mine are superb

In keeping all the nosy neighbors away

They’re also excellent new security enhancements

They scared off a pesky salesman just the other day


But there is one rather detrimental side effect

That I had not considered in this new experiment

They now seem to be intimidating my two dogs

Who are now cowering somewhere in the basement


I guess that I still have lots of work left to do

I better hurry and develop my new canine food too

As soon as I can perfect the new Dog Growth Formula

I know that my two mutts will be in a much better mood


I plan to make a fortune with these new pet products

And if anyone needs a Watch Cat just let me know

I’m just about ready now to begin mass producing

My new line of cat food called Ed’s Kitty Grow


Hefty Kitties Can Be Used for Weight Lifting

In a Home Physical Fitness Regiment Too

But I must add this one simple note of caution

Use extra large litter boxes for their gigantic poo



©2005, Ed ‘Big is Better’ Kostro



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Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 4/9/2005
You've topped even yourself, Little Eddie! The hilarity knocked me off my chair, indeed.

If this new food of yours is expensive, maybe the KITTIES could get jobs as bouncers down on "the strip" unless, of course, you don't allow them in such places. Ahem.

Riley is humongous, too. He thinks he's a king... but he's really just naughty and spoiled. (grin) Auntie katy lets him get away with stuff, too. Yay! (LOVE the pic) katy xox

p.s. Big litter box? Why not just fill the basement with sand? I'm sure Rebecca would LOVE that! giggle
Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain 4/5/2005

And I thought the cat that I had growing up was big (23 pounds)! This is one 'purr-fect' poetic write my friend!!

Best to you,

Reviewed by Alexandra* OneLight*® Authors & Creations 4/5/2005
Oooooh, it's not nice... it's absolutely GORGEOUS!!! What a fluffy-giant-squishy-mushy-yummy-purrs-and-more-purrs-of-a-supreme-divinity-of-a-delight you and your wife have got there, Ed! I must show his picture to our kitty Sophie, maybe the vision of this glorious feline god will convince her to stop eating dog's food at once... ^x^
Reviewed by Handsum Hart 4/4/2005
Lol, and a fortune surely you will make.
Bigger seems to be better these days.

Take care
Reviewed by Sara Coslett 4/4/2005
I want that cat. He or she is gorgeous. No, it must be a he, females never get that big. I'll need to take a shot of Sparky. We'll have to compare bellies. He likes to be held upside down too. ~ Sara
Reviewed by jude forese 4/4/2005
better put him on the dr.atkin's diet before he smothers you when you sleep ;)
Reviewed by Jennifer Ragan (Reader) 4/4/2005
And I thought my cat was fat!

Very funny!
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 4/4/2005
Looks like our Fire Chief's cat Taz and he is top cat around here. I am glad he likes humans.
Reviewed by L. Figgins 4/4/2005
LOL!! Did you say that you have a pair of these monster kittys, Ed? They would be great flanking either side of the porch like lions. Bet they come in handy as footwarmers in the winter or even makeshift pillows. Gigantic poo intimidates me a bit. I like to buy the kind that flushes and that might be a problem. Poor pooches. But it just goes to show that most dogs are more bark than bite...
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 4/4/2005

Laffin too hard to revies--and I thought Maine Coons were big. Your cats make them look, Maine Coon kittens. LOL

Adorable write--and I agree, "Big IS Better"

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :)
Reviewed by Cynthia Borris 4/4/2005

You are so bad! Watch out, the ghost of Heriot is sure to pay you a midnight visit.

Reviewed by Joseph* OneLight*® 4/4/2005
Poor, poor doggies ... they must be having nightmares!

Love & Light,
Reviewed by andrea coltman 4/4/2005
Wow Ed, that's some cat!!Great humorous write, won't show my cat this pic...don't want to give her a complex!!! or the kids for that matter, there's no way one that size would squeeze through my cat-flap!!! wishes Andrea
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 4/4/2005

Love Tinky
Reviewed by George Carroll 4/4/2005
I've been eating that food for quite some time and me thinks it will be the death of me if I don't cut back.. Splendid write.
Reviewed by Carole Mathys 4/4/2005
Ed this is such a hoot....still laughing....I know my two cats don't need any "big food" they are already "tub-a-lubbas" great write!!

Peace and meow, Carole
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 4/4/2005
i used to do this very thing with my maine coons, "ouizer" and "cajun"; they sure did make dandy exercise equipment! ouizer especially did; he was a lump! LOL

oh, this is too funny; thanks for the grins today, buddy! well done; bravo!!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :D
Reviewed by E T Waldron 4/4/2005
hahaha you better think fast of a way to curb your cats, not make more like them! "holy cow" will be replaced with "holy cat" !;-)It's a monster! You are such fun to read Ed, I'll be smiling all day again thanks to you;-)!

Reviewed by A PAX 4/4/2005


Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks 4/4/2005
That's one BIG CAT! But I couldn't be buying any of "Ed's Kitty Grow" for my 7 cats - I'd never find a place to sit or lay my body down in bed at night!
Cleverly written, enjoyably read, Ed :o)

Reviewed by Ed Matlack 4/4/2005
Rufuz isn't afraid of no stinking fat, Ed
Reviewed by William Bonilla 4/4/2005
Man! that is one big fat cat
is he as kool as he is fat?
Well atlease he is beautiful
and your write is great loved the humor
woven in

William .....Peace
Reviewed by Jennifer Butler 4/4/2005
That's so funny Ed. :)
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 4/4/2005
... No more of this Bulldog In The Basement lark, Elk!! I don't think your new feline feel-good food is for me, though. Sounds like it is designed to bring on another attack of cystitus rather than cure one! And looks like this poundy pussy will soon be requiring a quick dose of liver salts, too... said I would be impossible, and he's not been gone more than half an hour... Kure-all Kate xx
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 4/4/2005

Books by
Mr. Ed

Where The Redwing Sings

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My Dog Is My Hero

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Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

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Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..

Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

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Cemetery Island

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Gold River Canyon

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Mystery of Madera Canyon

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