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Ed Matlack

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I am woman, hear me snore
by Ed Matlack
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
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With apologies to Helen Reddy...

I am woman, hear me snore…


Dedicated to my love,

Though she may want to put on the gloves,

Knocking me into the middle of next week,

She is one strong broad; no one can call her weak…


And snore she does,

The walls of the camper do shake,

The windows do rattle & she causes dishes to break,

I wait with baited breath for the morning when she does awake…


The dog does hide under my bed,

Allowing her to sleep in his instead,

The local cat and bird population has been rightly scared,

Each night they look forward to with a great degree of dread…


So if we do travel out your way,

And you hear someone say,

There was an earthquake last night,

Quite high it was on the Richter scale,

You can tell them they are wrong,

It was just my little loving lady making a noise like a beached whale…

          © ed “extremely dead” Matlack ~ 4/13/05

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Reviewed by Lee comrie 3/23/2013
Sounds like my sister
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 4/17/2005
How could I laugh at lovely Renee's expense? How could I act in so disrespecful a manner? Shouldn't we women stick together? What was all that marching for women's equality for, if not to stand up at a time like this and refuse to make the dear woman the BUTT of joking? (There's that word "butt" again... ) How, you ask?

EASY!!! When it's this funny, this clever, I'd be a damned hypocrit if I kept a straight face.

Since you took on Helen Reddy, I'll take a shot at Carly Simon: Nobody does it better, you silly Ed! katy xox
Reviewed by Michelle Mills 4/13/2005
I'll be happy to write your obit Ed...because I think you probably are extremely dead if she gets a gander at this one!!! Funny though!!! Hugs to Rufuz...Michelle
Reviewed by john zimmerman 4/13/2005
he's in the dog house now
he's in the dog house now

dont konw the rest of the song

good write

Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 4/13/2005
You been listening to me snore? My dog will wake me up when I snore too loud. Very good.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 4/13/2005
Ziz iz good...ziz iz one ZZZZnoring gem!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Nickolaus Pacione 4/13/2005
You better run for cover for this one, hilarious one. My ex girlfriend basically complained about me snoring all the time. I am trying to keep a straight face here when doing this review but seriously this is damn hilarious.
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 4/13/2005
You like to be spanked don't you? :-)

My ex snored so loudly that while camping he frightened neighbours near by; they thought he was a bear. Being that he is over 6ft 3 I can see how his snoring could create this image.

Do you think you lady and my ex should have a snoring contest? To this day I sleep with my ears closed. Ah silence isn't it beautiful?
Reviewed by A PAX 4/13/2005

this is adorable!
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 4/13/2005
you were listening to me snore, weren't you???? LOL i am a snorer, unfortunately! LOL too funny; i am keeping this one! LOL

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn the snorer. :D LOL
Reviewed by Paul Williams 4/13/2005
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL ROFL! excellent Ed, I wouldn't let your lovely lady see it though...don't ear muffs work?

Thank's for the laugh

Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 4/13/2005

You're a hoot!!!!!!! And so is this write--you better delete it or you'll be in Rufuz' doghouse for the next century! LOL

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :)
Reviewed by Dale Clark 4/13/2005
LOL Ditto to what Eileen says there. ;)
Reviewed by E T Waldron 4/13/2005
You'd better delete this one quick;-)You are a fun man
Mr Matlack!;-)Her in Rufuz' bed and him in yours, hahaha;-)

Reviewed by Sue Hess 4/13/2005
as a woman who snores, i can relate. my sister says people in the next motel room have changed rooms because of my snoring, but i can't prove it true
Reviewed by J. R. Corbin 4/13/2005 are cruisin' for a bruisin'... :)

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