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Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

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Panic Attack
by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
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I've never liked storms, and have had scared moments before, but last night was AWFUL. The worst yet - severe thunderstorms formed just south of here and were ON THE WAY. They were HUGE, with baseball sized got to the border of Johnson County, where we live and it just fell apart...but try talking some sense into me. I mean, the sky was UG-LEEEE! At that time, I just had to get out of there. (And I have the bald spot to prove it.) PLEASE keep me (and Karen) in your prayers.

I watch the sky in fear
As it quickly darkens
Into a massive storm
Complete with rotation.

Galvanized by terror,
I run in blind panic -
Not caring where I go
As long as it is safe.

But there's nowhere to hide!
Tears burst from my eyes as
Tornado sirens blare
(If only in my head).

I cannot think clearly -
I tremble all over
Certain that I will die
A horrifying death.

God, get me out of here
I pray in frustration -
I pull at my hair and
Look, a bald spot appears.

My sister yells at me
Because she is scared, too -
I'm not helping her nerves...
At the time, I don't care.

And now, a day later,
I'm overcome with shame -
Hard to talk about this,
This overwhelming FEAR.

Dominating my life,
I don't know where to turn...
I have prayed about it,
Yet the fear always comes.

People tell me I'm stupid.
They just don't understand.
It's ruining my life -

(c) 2005, Karla Dorman.

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Reviewed by Mr. Ed 5/11/2005
Can truly feel your terrible trauma, Karla - but as others have said, writing about it can only help.
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 5/11/2005
I have suffered mild panic attacks for years, Karla... they are not stupid at all and can be triggered by anything that is a personal "hook"... I can't even tell you what mine has been, it's too embarrassing and not half as "sensible" as storm-anxiety! Understanding that it is mostly "unreasonable and irrational" in my case has helped me develop mind-steadying thoughts to control the body's nervious reaction... but a spot of alcohol also does wonders to take the edge off the nerves. Mostly, it is God, though, who has shown me that it IS possible to have peace within whatever personal storm is raging, and it is for such peace and protection that you and Karen are in my prayers. Bless you and stay safe and hairy! :)) LOL Kate xx
Reviewed by Paul Williams 5/11/2005
Dearest Karla, your fear is all to apparent in these words but so is your strength...your honesty and talent shine like sun and will always burn away these clouds of dispair. We all have our fears and phobias mine's women lol.

Reviewed by Mary Quire 5/11/2005
Your poem displays the growing feeling of fear and dread very well. I love the picture of the cat, very cute. I think everyone has experienced these feelings at one time or another. Wish there was a quick fix, but it usually takes a lot of time and patience to get through.

Best wishes,
Reviewed by Dawn Richerson 5/11/2005
Karla, you have got to be one of the most courageous people I know, because you have the sense to talk about the fear, to name it and to say "enough" in your own way. That's always the first step. Funny, how we all have things that do this to us. Mine's not storms, but I sure do understand the fear you so accurately describe here. Dawn
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/10/2005
Oh I know the feeling....mine is for SPIDERS..Yuk!!

Well written Karla!!

Stay dry stay safe!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by E T Waldron 5/10/2005
There is nothing stupid about anxiety attacks no matter what they stem from! the thing is to find the help necessary to keep them to a minimum. It isn't easy but there are things that can be done, besides the usual prayer etc. You're in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you get some relief soon.

Reviewed by Nordette Adams 5/10/2005
Your poem gives us a good peek inside your head, Karla, and a sense of the fear. Good desription! A bad storm shakes up most people. You're just shaken up moreso than others, and anyone who calls you stupid shows their ignorance by saying such a thing. I agree with Daniel that you're stronger just for writing and posting this poem. ~~Nordette
Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart 5/10/2005
I had a panic attack during dinner in a restaurant once. Not the most pleasant feeling in the world. When it happens, you think you're going to die. Every time. But just by posting something like this, you've become stronger than any hold those attacks may have over you.
Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very (Reader) 5/10/2005
Great Pic!!
This is a super poem. I understand it. totally.
I'm ok during the day but those night storms and oh if the lights go out... so I don't think you are stupid, a sissy or nuttin' else.
Take it easy. Send the rain and storms west 2 states, a stones throw away from 3 ok?!
Reviewed by Lori Moore 5/10/2005
We had a tornado warning here in CA yesterday... I expect that type of thing when I visit home, but not here. Great write.
Reviewed by Aberjhani 5/10/2005
Quite a bit of terror in these lines but much power as well in your ability to transcribe it into a poem that roars off the page like an actual storm. Sorry for your scare but did enjoy the read:-)
Reviewed by Henry Stevens 5/10/2005
You are in a state that does have killer storms. Your fear is justified. Understand it is justified and perhaps that will help. My wife and I and our cat lived through the eye of Charley (catagory 4 hurricane) Aug 13, 2004 here in Punta Gorda, FL. Yes, it's OK to be afraid-just hang on tight. Henry
Reviewed by Rebekah Rosie Lang 5/10/2005
I am so sorry for your FEAR. Just remember getting
into an interior place and AWAY from windows! I get scared of the
sirens too, but not near as much as you two. The other night, in
watauga, Tx, the color of the sky turned GREEN, the color right
before a tornado!

I was a bit concerned but it all blew over us.
All my love to you, and (((((((HUGS))))))) from Rebecca (Becca) Lang
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 5/10/2005
Well now a tornado warning is pretty awesome and I have seen several so I can understand this in the physical sense and otherwise. Happens to me too not as often now but it happens.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 5/10/2005

You have NOTHING to be ashamed of; it happens to the best of us! I have had days like that too; you are NOT alone! And you are NOT crazy! You have a legitimate fear, and it doesn't help that they don't provide shelter here! God be with you during this stormy time; you are always in my thoughts and prayers!

(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :( >tears <

I forgive you; and remember I love you with all my heart and soul!
Reviewed by Felix Perry 5/10/2005
You are not insane or silly and anyone who cannot understand your phobia which is a wuite common one should make sure there own houses are in order before dissing you.

Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 5/10/2005
Maybe you should move to Cali, hint, hint lol, but lately even we have been prown to storms
God BLess
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