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Ed Matlack

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The Yankee Doctor
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Richard the paperboy and his friend John Clayton VS an evil doctor...  
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Questions Answered
by Ed Matlack
Monday, May 16, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Questions Answered…


Now we know,

Even when the wind does blow,

Bears do sh** in the woods,

A toilet under their butts, yes below…


So this must also mean,

That the pope is actually catholic,

This, another question of the philosophical scene,

But what does the bear use on his butt to clean…?


Do we really want to know?

If then you really do, just to the bear go,

Ask him yourself, I value my life,

Though you had better arm yourself,

Possibly with an arrow and bow…

          © ed ~ 5/16/05


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Reviewed by Sherry Heim 5/16/2005
The commercial says that they use Charmin...soft and absorbent, you know. One can only imagine how much TP a bear might need. Ewwwww!! at bear doo! Hope I don't get it on my shoe! Or slip in bear pee... Way to visual for me!
Take care,
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 5/16/2005
Well I actually used leaves once in the woods but they are hard to get out of the crack. Okay and now do bees be. Good one Ed.
Reviewed by William Bonilla 5/16/2005
kool and funny Ed
but I won't be the one asking
that question to any wild bear
people think they are cute
they are deadly creatures
good to stay away from,
as all wild critters at that

Pecae Brother
Reviewed by Roger Ochs 5/16/2005
This is unbearably funny
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 5/16/2005
Why would we need to endanger our lives, while you value yours when you can plainly see the roll of TP on the back of the commode, EddieM? Plus, it looks to be half gone, so we must conclude that bears sh*tting in the woods is an age-old custom and if we don't want the bear to eat us, we should drop off a 6-pack of a double roll of Charmin. That's what I use. Yep... em... is that too much information? I'm never sure.

Now, for the tree making noise if no one is around... got any insight or proof of that one? Carry on.........katy xox

p.s. " I value my life," Considering the last few days in your life and your poetry, this was my favorite line... Be well, Petunia!

Reviewed by Kate Clifford 5/16/2005
LOL cute write LOL
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/16/2005
Hehehehe are a hoot!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart 5/16/2005
This photo goes right up there with the Sasquatch and Loch Ness pictures. Now you can tell Charmin there IS truth in advertising.
Reviewed by Paul Williams 5/16/2005
lolololol another class act Ed thanks for the smiles.

Reviewed by Cathrine Hottran 5/16/2005
:) :) :) thanks for the smile you put on my face with this one :) :) :)
Reviewed by john zimmerman 5/16/2005
when i was a diviniy student we had an extensive list of these sayings the mention of one of whch wold bring forth the entre string'
Is the Pope Catholic?
Do bear s**t in thw woods?
Do obby horses have wooden ...'
do frogs have watertight rectums

therer were several more but they got worse as the list got longer.

i appreciate your opus gor its own sake but also for the memories

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 5/16/2005
LOL. The Bear necessities..
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