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Mr. Ed

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  The Great Feline-Canine War
by Mr. Ed
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Mr. Ed
•  A Walk With Dogs
•  Earth Day Blues
•  What Have We Become
•  The Victims of Our Cruelty
•  The Shredding Machine
           >> View all 1,516





-->

 


In Honor of the Last Star Wars Movie,


And Based on a True Story


Of Two Devilish Marauding Canines,


And the Valiant Felines Who Fought Back


 


 


Whenever You Are Down


 


And You Feel There Is No Hope


 


Remember This Tale


 


 


A short time ago, in a galaxy not that far away, trouble was brewing on the planet Catnip.  Its gentle, wise, contemplative, and cerebral feline residents were under attack from the evil Canine Empire.  And, they were fraught with worry.


 


The serene residents of Catnip were accustomed to peace, tranquility, and the finer things in life.  They had long ago given up lives of violence, hatred, and aggression.


 


 They had evolved.


 


In their advanced, enlightened stage, however, they were totally unprepared to wage war of any sort.  They were certainly not prepared to face the onslaught of the evil Canine Empire.


 


One of the Empire’s many subjects, the tiny Bark Invader known as Chicus Blancus, had lived among them for several years, but she had been vastly outnumbered and outmaneuvered since she had arrived.  She had never been a serious threat to their continued tranquility.


 


But unbeknownst to these residents of Catnip, the cunning Bark Invader had been plotting a desperate takeover for quite some time.  She had also been doggedly seeking a canine cohort to assist her in this dastardly plot.


 


Now, she had finally found one; and, she had done her homework extremely well.  She had enlisted the services of a giant, evil, marauding canine known throughout the galaxy for his crude, barbaric, uncivilized ways.  She had enlisted – Darth Turbonius – a black-hearted canine ruffian from a distant desert world.


 


The residents of Catnip were now doomed.  Sadness and hopelessness now filled their once extremely happy feline world.


 


But, luckily, a heroic feline leader soon stepped forward amidst this great turmoil and unrest.  He had arrived from his home word of Felinia; and his name was CatEye Master Boda Buddy.


 


From the moment he declared war on the evil Canine Empire, all the residents of Catnip knew that if any feline in the entire galaxy could possibly save them, it was Master Boda Buddy.


 


His fame and his legend were known far and wide.  He was simply a genius at war strategy and tactics.  He also had a strange mystical aura about him.  The benevolent feline gods had definitely bestowed the ancient ‘Feline Force’ upon him.


 


Princess Gabriella immediately summoned Master Boda Buddy to her Kitty Kastle and implored him to address the Catnip Grand Council to reassure them that he could help in their dire plight.


 


Master Boda readily agreed; and he gave a fine speech that day about the nobility of the ancient feline race and its overwhelming capacity to survive against any and all odds.


 


Before long, each and every Catnip resident was feeling much better.


 


Master Boda Buddy also soon initiated his great CatEye Knight training program.  Princess Gabriella’s own step brother, Prince Montgomery Catwalker, soon became Boda’s finest student, and a great warrior and leader in his own right.


 


Young Tuffy Mouse-Catcher also soon became a proficient warrior, as did CatEye Apprentice Jessie Jouster, Prince Monty’s second in command.


 


Master Boda taught all of his pupils extremely well.  He taught them how to use their speed, their wits, their keen eyesight, their sheer numbers, and of course, their superior intelligence, against this barbaric, uncivilized canine attack.


 


Before long at all, the CatEye Knights were ready to launch their very noble counter attack.


 


Unfortunately, the Great War waged on for months.  Sometimes it appeared that no progress was being made at all.  The tiny Bark Invader and the gigantic Darth Turbonius kept coming and coming.


 


They would nip, bite, bark, and run.  They would raid the sacred Catnip food piles.  They would steal priceless Catnip treasures.  And, they would hide in ambush and snarl hideously.  They were relentless.


 


But the ancient Feline Force had definitely returned to the residents of Catnip, and their hearts were brave and true and strong.  They fought on and on, and somehow, they persevered.


 


Their bravery, patience, and endurance were finally rewarded one great and fateful afternoon at the Historic Battle of Litter Box Hill.


 


Prince Montgomery Catwalker and his CatEye Knights surrounded, faced down, and finally defeated, the cunning Bark Invader and the evil Darth Turbonius.


 


Master Boda Buddy, himself, was summoned to confront the two fallen canine villains.  A hush enveloped Catnip as Master Boda sagely contemplated their fate.


 


In his great feline wisdom, Boda Buddy did not order these two canines killed or even banished from the kingdom.  He had decided to allow them to remain on Catnip and to live in peace with its feline residents, if they would vow in their canine hearts and souls to give up their evil barking, biting, raiding ways.


 


Both the tiny Bark Invader and the giant Darth Turbonius immediately agreed.


 


Even though they were only canines, they were both smart enough to know when they were licked!


The End


 


 


- And May The Force Be With You, Too -


 


©2005, Ed Kostro


 

 


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Reviewed by m j hollingshead 5/21/2005
good one
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 5/21/2005
"They had long ago given up lives of violence, hatred, and aggression.
They had evolved.

Prince Montgomery Catwalker and his CatEye Knights/ cunning Bark Invader and the evil Darth Turbonius."

While reading, LE, I kept thinking 'I know this guy... I have a genius for a friend!' That first quote up there is evidence of your ability to write tongue in cheeky cheek (grin) but it's the constant cleverness, the fantastic names... oh, my, and then there's the story and gosh o mighty, to just have thought of this and then write it... you are nothing short of amazing here. WOW! Most impressive! katy xox
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 5/19/2005
Oh dear.........I guess you forgot about Lord of Dogdom! Meanwhile may the force continue :-)
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 5/19/2005
Catnip may have won this round, but I, Lord Rufuz(bow when you say that), King of Dogdom will come up with a new plan...I may just sit in space in my flying motorhome and drop dog turds that explode down on the Kitty Kastle...but that is only my first thought for now...Forever the Lord of Dogdom...Rufuz (w00f)
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 5/19/2005
Ed,

A lovely tail, may the Force be with you, as well.

(((((HUGS))))) and love, Karla.

I'm saving this one--perhaps we adults can learn way overdue lessons from your story. Well done!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/19/2005
How can I not love this???

Thanks for this very fine offering "S'o'H" Eddie!!

Hehehehehe!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very (Reader) 5/19/2005
Ed, This is a wonderful story to remember and I love the ways you used the animals this would really help kids too since it's written w/ kids ""symbols" with that "adult" message there. It's Wonderful.
The beginning was so relating. A life of peace and tranquility then someone walks in and you're just not expecting it so unprepared and it does kill and destroy. shakes the whole planet. then the "hero" comes into save the day. Hard to remember there is a hero sometimes seems like forever for them to come and save the day too. I Love this!(c:)
Bravo Ed!!!. Excellent!!!.
This one really touches reached right in there.
Thanks very much and keep similin'. 38xo's a day
Tracey
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 5/19/2005
This was so cute and excellent Ed! Just love how you wrote this! Ha ha what an excellent way to start the day!

Reindeer
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 5/19/2005
...and may the force be with YOU, ed! LOL this is a charming take off; brava on an outstanding parody! LOL well done; bravo!!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :D
Reviewed by George Carroll 5/19/2005
You have a way with the animal kingdom. Hey Scotty don't forget my furry creatures when you beam me up.LOL
Reviewed by Sharon Palmer 5/19/2005
That's a cute take-off, Ed! But Master Jedi Wilson and Princess Piper (my bassets) disagree on your take of the sitch! *g*
;-}

~Namaste~
Sharon
Reviewed by E T Waldron 5/19/2005
Little Eddie, only you can surpass star wars;-)
You really have the gift ,thanks for sharing it with us!
I hope you enjoy the Siph and tell us all about it. I saw
a preview, it looks fantastic,heard it was the best animation ever.

Love,
Alrisha
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 5/19/2005
Haha! Gotta love it!
Reviewed by George Jackson 5/19/2005
LOL!! I grew up with Star Wars. Will keep this for sure. Fantastic.
Reviewed by Dale Clark 5/19/2005
"May the Force be with Catnip" LOL
Man this is good, Ed!

Books by
Mr. Ed



Where The Redwing Sings

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My Dog Is My Hero

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Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals

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Through Katrina's Eyes, Poems from an Animal Rescuer's Soul

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Cemetery Island

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Gold River Canyon

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Mystery of Madera Canyon

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Amazon, more..



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