Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful
by A PAX
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
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TIME TO LAUGH AT MYSELF AGAIN.......OH I DO IT SOOOOOOOO WELL.....muuhaaahaaa
DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL
I'm empty, faint and famished, my pulse barely there
My life is now in peril, my tongue is growing hair
I'm breathing like a bunny, whose thumping like a jack
Silver bells are ringing.......even tho their cracked
My eyes are opened wide.....such a shame they're crossed
The voice inside my left brain....tells the right whose boss
My feet can find their own way........tho seldom are in tune
My hair is falling out.....so I lookin' like the moon
I dine just like a lady, I use a fork and knife
Long sleeves keep me clean....lift my arm and wipe
I believe in natural......so I've got brillo pits
Sometimes use deodorant......come on close and sniff- muuuhaahaaa
Take a bath on weekends, do it up real nice
Old spice in the bathtub, gets me rid of lice
Give myself a pedicure......nibble on my toes
Yesterday's newspaper.....is where I blow my nose
Treat myself to lard rubs, make me feel so new
Skin just like a baby....(baby from the zoo!)
Pop my black heads monthly....it's a chore I love
Got 'em on my butt.....my middle......and above
Baking soda for my teeth, what a salty treat
Gets 'em white as linen, I use to wipe my seat! Muuhahaa
When I sashay down the street, people stop and stare
I know that they wonder......how I got such flare!!!!!!!
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|Reviewed by Jo Pelletier
|You do have a wicked sense of humor, lol.|
|Reviewed by Sandra Mushi
|Lol!!!! Haa haa haaa ... Oh natural woman!
So well written and hilarious! Lol!
|Reviewed by Anthony Hall
|O lovely natural woman, you're the kind that makes me hot
blow your nose upon my sleeve, give it all you've got!
|Reviewed by Nordette Adams
|Another priceless write, Anita. Oh, I feel/LOOK! like this many days. LOL.|
|Reviewed by L. Figgins
|Cosmopolitan is calling your name, Anita. What do they pay per word? I don't know, but I know it's good. They're always looking for beauty tips from women who've managed to keep their sex appeal. I, for one, am saving these little tips! LOL, thanks for the laugh...|
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|As only you can ANITA!!
|Reviewed by Divinity 11
|AWWWWWWWWWW baby, i just wanna get close to you
|Reviewed by Patrick Talty
|Ouch! Anita! This piece of brilliance covers the whole territory of Satire Land and you did it soooo well!!
It should topple more than a few practitioners of pomposity down to earth from their high horses! More power to your Muse!
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|Flare is truly the right word here, Anita!
And you've really struck a nerve; I can't seem to keep the damn hair off my ears or my tongue!
|Reviewed by Kate Burnside
|You are too damn good at these, ANITA THE CHEATER/CHEETAH!! Only the Great and the Gorgeous can do this to themselves and get away with it. You're just too much of a Cool Cat - you dangle every aspect of the gamut of emotions and relations before us like eye-candy. You'd best be careful... someone out there is gonna find this so hot you'll get your freckled fatass burned! Let's hope it's a Publisher - damn well should be! You're a gas - full of it!! gotta luv this one and ESPECIALLY the new name tag - queen of irony, too! What is it you haven't got?! A swelled head, that's wot! Pure rock and roll, Anita style. Here's looking at YOU, Kid! LOL d-KrepidK8 xx|
|Reviewed by Cynth'ya firstname.lastname@example.org
|You'd be a great writer for those "Maxine" Hallmark cards Sis!
cynth'ya lewis reed
|Reviewed by Jack Roberts
|Well, at least you do wipe your seat. LOL Funny write my friend. : )
|Reviewed by Sherry Heim
|Yuk!!! I am gagging at the thought of this all, Anita. Such a funny write...I mean, you are joking, right??? Very cute and clever. I would say I wish I wrote it, but frankly, I don't...you do these so well, I would never think of trying to wriggle into your own special literary space. Muuhaahaa
|Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
|All's Flare that ends flare.
Afraid peeps like us, it's a cross we must bare..
|Reviewed by Roger Ochs
|Mordant humor is a difficult task. You've mastered it well.|
|Reviewed by Felix Perry
|Such a comical write and so witty however your picture must be a phoney cause you look gorgeous in it. LOL|
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
|this is great, anita! very well done!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :D
|Reviewed by Barbara Terry
|OMG Anita this is just tooooo funny (giggles). This is so well written (I think I jealous)(giggles). I think you should have this one published. You'd make a lot people laugh at themselves too. May the Lord Jesus bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and at yourside constantly. With much love in my heart, stubborn to a fault, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little terrified sister, Barbie
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I may as well be."
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Should be enough
Only divas use one name...and you're it, baby! Diva, deluxe!!!!
An excellent write--and no, I don't hate you 'cause you're beautiful. :)
(((((HUGS))))), love and many prayers, Karla. :) LOLOLOLOL You're a hoot, Diva!