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Ed Matlack

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Zen & the Art of Parenting
by Ed Matlack

Friday, June 10, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
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           >> View all 5,665

Whatever works...?


Zen & the Art of Parenting…

 

Remain calm,

When applying the balm,

To your aching feet,

After all day chasing them,

And you can’t even smack them on their seat…

 

Remain focused,

When to you they bring a horde of locusts,

Your garden in the path of said horde,

What the hell, while replanting your garden,

You won’t for sure get bored…

 

Remain centered,

When in the bathroom you entered,

Away they scream at you, mom I am too old for you to see,

Now that they are all of thirteen,

You must now knock when going in their rooms,

Got to let them be themselves,

Just hope that smell is not from pot, fumes…

 

Remain happy,

They have taken their drugs,

Now they are quite calm and don’t mind hugs,

Even a bath is allowed,

Since they can barely stand up from sitting on the rugs,

As well you can finally wash off all those little bugs…

            © ed ~ 6/10/05
 
 

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Reviewed by Sherry Heim 6/10/2005
Parenting today is certainly a whole lot different from the way I was raised. I wonder how the next generation will raise their kids?
Take care,
Sherry
Reviewed by Alexandre Arnau 6/10/2005
uh oh, i smell diapers in your future...nothing works like a firm tone and a firmer hand across the ass.
Reviewed by Sue Hess 6/10/2005
i was a hyperactive child before ritalin became the answer, my mother taught me to embroider to help me focus my attention on something and it served me well in the sixties, when i designed embroidered jackets for entertainers...i've always been grateful for her patience
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 6/10/2005
The message in the photo speaks loudly to me........I have been around children that are hyper active........parenting is not easy but ritalin is not the answer. Interesting thoughts throughout the write. Enjoyed the humor you expressed......that is the true key to being a parent.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 6/10/2005
you wouldn't like louisiana's sandusky's place...kids all OVER the where! LOL but SERIOUSLY, ed, i agree totally! very well done!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :)
Reviewed by Veronica Hosking 6/10/2005
Speaking of "And you can’t even smack them on their seat" did you hear about the town that made spanking illegal?
Reviewed by Dale Clark 6/10/2005
lol Yeah the art of parenting could use
a little zen. ;)
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 6/10/2005
Funny one Ed!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by William Bonilla 6/10/2005
Is that a storke I see flying near you house?
As for the little people
you must let them grow and watch them go
leaving you with an empty nest.
and a prayer in your mind

William .....Peace Brother
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 6/10/2005
Are you planning to become a parent soon?!!
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 6/10/2005
The first part of the poem was funny, but the last part looks at a more serious topic. Good work Ed!

Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)
Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 6/10/2005
Lololololol! Ed, you are a total looney! Haaa haaa haaaa! Great one!

God bless,

Sandie.
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 6/10/2005
This was so funny Ed, just loved it,

Reindeer
Reviewed by Steve Patterson 6/10/2005
i smile. good job
tx



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