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NOTE: This is derived from thoughts of a long-ago relationship, so please don't worry; just tossing those long-overdue thoughts onto the page.
"I need you," I had spoken in every sense of honor.
And no reply; simply silent retribution;
You impart evil -
encroaching upon me with your hellish ways
implying that your countenance holds some great promise;
but that fact is yet to be proven.
You leave nothing but consternation in your wake;
waving your banner of bastardly and dastardly pride.
Can someone truly kill merely with a glance?
If so, then I have died a thousand times
in the gaze of your unforgiving eyes!
Once bitten, twice the wiser...
and now immune to the venom of your ire;
still I am witness to the hollowness
that you've left within my world...
I am plummeting to depths from
which I doubt I ever shall return;
and I will never be the same...
chained to a luminescent
yet ever-fading dream
of what once had been
my last and only hope;
no way to return to what I was before...
you are the key
within the hidden corridor
and I the holder, spurned
and now you simply wave
in parting recognition
with that impish smile of knowing
that this bond was
with the grimness of reality...
doomed, even before our very first unforgettable kiss;
and now I am conflicted --
a dizzying swim of alloy,
filled with the impurity of you...
beguiled by your luster;
shamed by my inability
to control my own destiny;
swept up in your caustic fumes.
Assuming that you were, in fact,
my true companion
by fate predicted
I tried my luck
and deferred so graciously to you;
altered myself to fit into the box
you'd custom-made for me...
And how much more beautiful you are than anything I'd seen...
decorated, not with some paltry surface sheen,
but with the truth that you never need to hide your inner self,
no matter how excruciatingly hateful that inner self may be;
somehow you induced a type of self-metamorphosis,
razing the old perfection and candor I had known so fondly
and I, not knowing what to do, was lost in desperation;
soundly and deeply perplexed...
caught up in the iterations
of a suicidal spirit;
exorbitant emotions cascading all about,
obvious signs that, in my heart,
I would never let you go;
no matter what the final cost.
Sharp pangs of uncontrollable longing
overtook the whole of what remained of me
and I could not keep myself
from sinking into a fitful reverie...
Distraught with anguish
that you would so callously,
coldly turn your back on me...
Yet still a slave to consequence,
and in your eyes...
maybe nothing more than
just a simple conquest;
instilling you with
an unfulfilling confidence;
a misty, fleeting treasure...
another shiny trophy for your mantle;
a building block for your selfish pleasure;
for a pain inside your soul
that never will abate;
no matter where you cast
of sweet control...
leaving you with
nothing left to hold
within the emptiness of
that never-ending hole.
Copyright 2005 Jeff Mason
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|Reviewed by Jennifer Butler
|... to be filled with never ending wishes for more ...|
|Reviewed by June Thompson
|you wrote this on my birthday though not about me and yet this pains me so deeply as if I've heard these words in a dream... that they were once about someone like me....
yes indeed, how deeply love can wound us
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|I can sure relate to these feelings and the meaning behind them, Jeff. Thank you for sharing this offering. Love and peace to you. Regis|
|Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie
|Ah Jeff, how deeply love can wound us, this is so powerfully heart-wrenching, outstanding. you expressed this so perfectly.
|Reviewed by Maria Lupinacci
Writing can be an excellent filter! Write on!
|Reviewed by Linda Roman
|Reviewed by Amira van Kerk
|Touching write Jeff. You very well expressed what one feels once the one and only turns around and leaves. Maybe you could get back to your last thought and line - the never ending hole - in another poem and give advise how to refill it?
|Reviewed by Susan Barton (Reader)
|Whew! I'm glad you got that off your chest :) excellent!|
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Most excellent write Jeff!!
So good to read you again!!
|Reviewed by Kate Clifford
|To face all our thoughts and write......is what writing is all about. Excellent expression of this type of relationship. Great write.|
|Reviewed by Sandra Mushi
|Very deep, Jeff. Hope you have exhaled and moved on.
|Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK
|That Never Ending Hole,i.e. We Are All Condemned-- Just How It Is You Or We COPE With It....
|Reviewed by Sandy Knauer
|Whew, glad you got that off your chest - it's painful enough to read, can't imagine living it. Hope the writing experience was freeing. Great job, as always, Jeff.|
|Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers
|Sometimes the pain of a love lost, never truly fades until it's exposed to the sun. Maybe now, Now that you've released it to words, it will rest on the fleeting winds.
As sad as it was..it was beautifully expressed.
|Reviewed by Chanti Niven
|Jeff, you express yourself exceedingly well. This poem is raw in its intensity. How well you've described the feelings of desolation caused by love that turned its back. This might have been written about something that happened long ago but the vivid way in which you've described your feelings brings it sharply into focus. I think many reading will relate.