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NOTE: This is derived from thoughts of a long-ago relationship, so please don't worry; just tossing those long-overdue thoughts onto the page.

"I need you," I had spoken in every sense of honor.
And no reply; simply silent retribution;
Insolent she-devil;
You impart evil -
encroaching upon me with your hellish ways
implying that your countenance holds some great promise;
but that fact is yet to be proven.

You leave nothing but consternation in your wake;
waving your banner of bastardly and dastardly pride.

Can someone truly kill merely with a glance?
If so, then I have died a thousand times
in the gaze of your unforgiving eyes!

Once bitten, twice the wiser...
and now immune to the venom of your ire;
still I am witness to the hollowness
that you've left within my world...
and now...

I am plummeting to depths from
which I doubt I ever shall return;
and I will never be the same...
I remain...
chained to a luminescent
yet ever-fading dream
of what once had been
my last and only hope;

no way to return to what I was before...

you are the key
within the hidden corridor
and I the holder, spurned

and now you simply wave
in parting recognition
with that impish smile of knowing

that this bond was
perilously fraught
with the grimness of reality...
doomed, even before our very first unforgettable kiss;
and now I am conflicted --
a dizzying swim of alloy,
filled with the impurity of you...
beguiled by your luster;
shamed by my inability
to control my own destiny;
swept up in your caustic fumes.

Assuming that you were, in fact,
my true companion
by fate predicted
I tried my luck
and deferred so graciously to you;
altered myself to fit into the box
you'd custom-made for me...

And how much more beautiful you are than anything I'd seen...
decorated, not with some paltry surface sheen,
but with the truth that you never need to hide your inner self,
no matter how excruciatingly hateful that inner self may be;

somehow you induced a type of self-metamorphosis,
razing the old perfection and candor I had known so fondly
and I, not knowing what to do, was lost in desperation;
soundly and deeply perplexed...

caught up in the iterations
of a suicidal spirit;
exorbitant emotions cascading all about,
assaulting me
without ceasing...
obvious signs that, in my heart,
I would never let you go;
no matter what the final cost.

Sharp pangs of uncontrollable longing
overtook the whole of what remained of me
and I could not keep myself
from sinking into a fitful reverie...

Distraught with anguish
that you would so callously,
coldly turn your back on me...

Yet still a slave to consequence,
and in your eyes...
maybe nothing more than
just a simple conquest;
instilling you with
an unfulfilling confidence;

a misty, fleeting treasure...
another shiny trophy for your mantle;
a building block for your selfish pleasure;

false relief...
for a pain inside your soul
that never will abate;
no matter where you cast
your spell
of sweet control...

leaving you with
nothing left to hold

within the emptiness of
your heart;

that never-ending hole.

Copyright 2005 Jeff Mason