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|Reviewed by Alexandre Arnau
|this rhymed okay, but try not to go more than 10 syllables per line. other than that, this was very generic fare.|
|Reviewed by Sandie Angel
Thank you very much to allow me to give you suggestions. This poem is of sentimental value, and yes by all means, give this to your co-worker as a wedding or anniversary gift; but if I may (without being offensive) suggest to you the following amendments.
On the 1st line of the 3rd stanza:
"You are my second half that makes me complete" -
in my opinion, it should read:
"You are my other half that makes me complere"
(this is because your co-worker and his/her spouse are supposed to be of equal partners in a marriage, there is no 1st or 2nd place - only 2 halves in a marriage).
On the 1st line of the 4th stanza - the word "due" should be "do";
On the last line of the 4th stanza - "holf" should be "hold".
Hope this helps. Once again thank you for allowing me to give my suggestions.
Sandie Angel a.k.a. Sandie May Angel :o)
|Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
|Don't know where you need quotation marks n this poem. Nice poem, but those sentiments went out the window when the divorce lawyers were able to advertise. LOL Oh, "And holf your hand throughout this earthly path" (Should be half, not holf.)
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
One suggestion...be aware of Plagiarism...use qoutation marks when ever something sound remotely similar to someone elses words.
This poem did sound very "Known" to me!!
Just me helping out a fello family member....no offence!!
For the poem...well written and a beautiful heart shows!!