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“In your life expect some trouble
But when you worry
You make it double,
So don't worry, be happy...”

Bobby McFerrin,

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

I wearily awoke at the very crack of dawn

In this the third month of our summer drought

When suddenly I heard the unmistakable sound

Of rooftop raindrops – of this there was no doubt

I jumped out of bed in a very excited frenzy

And I rushed out to the backyard in my BVDs

My two mutts were immediately in very hot pursuit

Their parched furry bodies now also filled with glee

As the three of us very merrily splished and splashed about

In the refreshing cool downpour and the fresh thick wet mud

I eventually thought I heard my lovely spouse calling out to me

And soon I heard her tapping on the window pane ‘thud, thud, thud’

As I looked back toward our rain-drenched window

I thought I saw her standing there all sweet and giggly

So I merrily shouted and waved right back at her

Although her true demeanor I swear I did not see

Suddenly the dark heavens above us in the drenched backyard

Began thundering and heavy bolts of lightning soon appeared

So the three of us raced back through the open kitchen door

And that’s when we ran smack dab into my greatest fear

“While you and your two pals were out merrily skinny dipping

Our old sump pump motor died, and there’s water everywhere,

And just look at all this mud and dirt you’ve now just dragged in!”

And that’s just about when she gave me her very best spousal glare

As she bolted out the front door on her way to work

I heard her yelling at the top of her lungs in quite the rage

“You better get this old house in tip top shape today, Mister,

Or when I get home tonight there’ll surely be hell to pay!”

As my now two very disloyal dogs raced away to hide in the closet

I wearily trudged down to the basement and began my tedious work

Of finally installing that new sump pump I’d been putting off installing

And now glumly feeling like quite the defeated old fart and imbecilic jerk

Several hours later after working most of the rainy day away

And then bathing both dogs and mopping up the kitchen floor

As I wearily began undressing for a well deserved soothing bath

I looked around the bathroom and now was stricken with horror

My three cherished childhood rubber duckies

Had been somehow left out in the backyard

So I raced back out into the stormy afternoon

And searched for them everywhere near and far

That’s just when our far too nosy neighbor Mrs. Jenkins

Stuck her very nosy face out a tiny crack in her backdoor

And soon yelled at the very top of her old geriatric lungs

“You imbecilic man, you’ll not see those little toys anymore!”

In every life we have some trouble,
So I’m not gonna worry and make it double,
But if Mrs. Jenkins doesn’t give back my rubber duckies,

There will be hell to pay…