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Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

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Venice of gold and of masks..  
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by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
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           >> View all 3,280

I smoke. Haven't quit (yet).

Been sober 23 years. Now, if I could quit drinking, why can't I stop smoking?

Addictions are notoriously strong...but am I stronger? Keep me in your prayers.

I hear them,
the screams of those who visited
that big-assed nicotine whore who
lives in the joy of a smoke (and
who were never seen again),
warning me to stay away
from those cigarettes,
those damned cigarettes which
gladly take me to a suffocating
hell even before I get there,
gasping and coughing and crying out
for one decent breath
untainted by the poison I put there,
while lighting another nail
in my coffin, shortening my years
with each cigarette lit,
condemning myself because the
addiction is stronger than I.

I know I shouldn't, but ...

I heard them,
the screams of those who visited
the last vestiges of an alcohol high
in emptied bottles of beer (and who
were never heard from again),
warning me to stay away
from the boozy drinks,
those damned glasses of liquid
sedative which gladly took me on
the slippery slope to hell,
gasping and moaning and crying out
for the sickness to stop,
swearing I wouldn't do this again,
while paying homage to
the Great White Throne,
while forgetting what I had been doing,
and wondering how I was still alive ...
I was stronger than the addiction.

Habits were made to be broken.

(c) 2005, Karla Dorman.

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Reviewed by Mary Lynn Plaisance 12/6/2005
Karla, I'll keep you in my prayers. I smoked when I was young and quit. But when I quit, I went into what they called panic attacks, which I think would be classifed as withdrawals today and then was put on nerve medication.......OH I'm fine today, but it was hell...... You can break the habit.... I know what you feel~!

(((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))))

Mary Lynn Plaisance
Reviewed by john zimmerman 11/30/2005
good write ---

i never had any bad habits (;-}> except for poetry -- yeah okay, tobacco, women, oh yeah wine -- the absolute worst was coffee!
(seriously--cafine is addicctive and when on needs a cup of STRONG coffe in orer to go tosllep every nifgt...

some i kicked some kicked me

if you do have a lapse don't cry "failure" just start again

go for it kj

Reviewed by Joseph* OneLight*ģ 11/30/2005
When the time is right, the time is right and my prayers are with you Karla.

Love & Light,
Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope) 11/29/2005
Karla to quit smoking is not a difficult task. I smoke for many years but at last resorted to quit it in 1993. Since then I have been encouraging friends to quit the habit by promising them a present if they didn't smoke for four consecutive weeks. So far only three of the twenty three friends (one female) won the present. Be the fourth my dear sister and expect a Somali cultural item as a present. We are all with you in prayers.
Your brother Abdi-Noor
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 11/29/2005
A habbit hard to overcome...but thank God I did stop smoking almost 15 years ago!! Never had a dring problem...only one drinker is more than enough to handle :(!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Veronica Hosking 11/29/2005
My mom quit once for more than 3 weeks. Even the store was pulling for her, she broke down and tried to buy a pack but the credit card machine wouldn't work and she had no cash.

Alas, this was over a year ago and she did start lighting up again. Now tries to quit everyday.

Sorry but I never put on cigarette in my mouth so I can't really empathize myself.
Reviewed by Felix Perry 11/29/2005
good write about a bad topic, I was also a heavy smoker (2 large Cdn packs a day) and after about twenty tries I have now been off of them for about 6 years. Not easy but can be done...good luck

Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 11/29/2005
Smoking Is Something To Do With Your Hands,i.e. Chew Gum,BetterYet_

Find UR Self Hobby To PRE-OCCUPY YOUR MIND....


THEN: U WILL HAVE SUM 2 DO With UR Hands(Hobby),i.e. Not Think About Smoke Or Smoking Your Brain...
Reviewed by F William Broome 11/29/2005
Your poem posted is a cry for help. Here's mine: After only ten years - in my Forties - I qave myself a SHOCK treatment that worked. Friends had let me know how often my breath smelled like an ashtray, and my dear wife endured it until she attended the SECOND funeral of two of my siblings- from smoking. She wrote a poem in which she was at that third funeral. All of this only prepared me for what I had to do. At the suggestion of a young lady cleaning my teeth, I called a medical doctor friend at a nearby teaching univesity, asking him to show me the blackened lungs from a long-time smoking cadaver. His only reply was, "Certainly, you want to eat lunch before or after? On the appointed day I saw my potential death,preserved. Without lunch, I walked for two hours with guilt and one smoke after another as my companions. That evening at five minutes into the 9:00 PM TV movie, I lit my last cigarette! My life and marriage have been long and rewarding since that decision. Stay away from smokers or situations that tempt you to smoke again. To all who want you to fail, reply, "I'm determined to outlive you and the other crapheads who want to put me down!" (If this sounds like a pious sermon, I don't apologize. - Your Good Friend, Bill Broome

Reviewed by E T Waldron 11/29/2005
Karla, bottom line we can only kick a habit when we want to. No one or thing can make you not even God will force you to stop, it has to come from within your own will. As it did with drink! I know I felt resentful didn't want to quit even afte having a heart attack. When I made the decision, did it in one day never smoked another cigaret. I'll pray you realize one day it's for the best, and want to do it.
Great write!
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 11/29/2005
When Dottering Dottie (said lovingly) and I quit smoking we quit drinking the same day. No way I could drink and not smoke. You'll find that place inside of yourself and will quit someday. Besides, not everybody who smokes gets empheysema.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 11/29/2005

I know it is hard for you; it is hard for anyone who is addicted to cigarettes OR alcohol. But it CAN be done; just put your trust and hope in the Lord and ask Him to deliver you from this. I will be praying extra hard for you; you capture the stronghold of addiction and frustration perfectly in this hardhitting, sobering write! All the best to you, dear! Excellent job; take a bow!!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your twin, Karen Lynn. :(
Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater 11/29/2005
A Habit should only be a thing a Nun wears. Make a Nun happy today.
Kick the Habit! Smoke the pipe organ instead! Such a glorious, heavenly sound compared to an aggravating cough! Kicked butts, Karla!

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