Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Amy Sellers, iWilliam DeVault, iBryon Smith, iDouglas Skopp, iRichard Rydon, iKevin Weeks, iMark Lichterman, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ed Matlack

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 5,630 Titles
· 42,747 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
SPECTRAL REWIND: The Class of ’81
by Terry Vinson

No internet…no cable television…but even in a more innocent era… pure EVIL remains timeless. ..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Featured Book
Last Wild Place: An Adventure Novel Set In West Papua.
by Rosemary Patterson

Aggressive tourist promoter Hillary Young brings in seniors to triple the tourism in Jayapura, West Papua on the largest Island in the world, New Guinea. The senior's an..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Historic storm a bust...
  3.  For Rent…Christmas Angel for Shoveling Sno
  4.  Finally looks like some significant snow i
  5.  It's All About Timing
  6.  Like His Mother Used To Do
  7.  If women had udders...!
  8.  Somebody Blinked
  9.  Pet Port A Potty
  10.  Halloween is Coming!
  11.  Nite Quill
  12.  I Want a Donut
  13.  Saving paper
  14.  Nuts
  15.  Naughty or Nice...
  16.  I Downloaded A Virus
  17.  The Golden Years...
  18.  I Am the Center of the Universe
  19.  The Land of Sandra Dee -- Anonymous author
  20.  Georgie Porgie

Record Boobs
by Ed Matlack

Saturday, December 17, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Become a Fan

Recent poems by Ed Matlack
•  To me he is my friend...
•  Update...
•  Historic storm a bust...
•  Finally looks like some significant snow is approaching…
•  It’s a human eat human world…
           >> View all 5,605

she has the record,

Sure as hell she is not ignored,

Clothes don’t fit,

Bet though her husband is never bored…


When she dies will they cut them off,

In a coffin she will not fit,

Unless she buys a custom model,

Does she in life with those beasts have to waddle…


Guinness says they are the biggest,

Not sure if we should consider her blessed,

In a car she needs no airbags,

Personally though I am unimpressed,

Though there is one here that will be quite


© ed ~ 12/17/05

Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Sherry Heim 12/17/2005
OK, I have big casabas, but those aren't boobs they are udders!!! I bet she hasn't slept on her tummy in years. I will admit that I am looking at her with a different set of hormones than you are, but those are not even close to attractive.

Take care,

Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson 12/17/2005
Well, one way to look at it. That's a
whole lot of area to cover love wise.
I like bo0bs, but get dizzy on top the mountains.
I would hate to be a woman with bo0bs that big.
Of course she was born that way. No woman
wants them that big?
Hee, hee, I may become a leg man........
You have written about boo0bs, and lo0k at
all the comments you got....
Rufuz is probably jealous....
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 12/17/2005
Through a large breast woman I learnt this is a curse. Glad I am small....okay almost flat LOL. Never understood this fasinatintion.....but then I am female looking for different parts LOL.
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 12/17/2005
Good God. This poor woman is nuts. Why in the hell would she want 'em that big? Think of her back. Anything bigger than a handful is too much for me......interesting poem, from a man's standpoint, though.

(((HUGS))) an dlove, Karla.
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 12/17/2005
I agree with Chanti. Too gross!!! And I am male. I appreciate your humor, though. Thank you, Ed. I hope Rufuz is keeping you in line. Love and peace.

Reviewed by Chanti Niven 12/17/2005
To me they look grotesque but I'm not male ;-)
Funny write! LOL
Reviewed by Joseph* OneLight*® 12/17/2005
Oh my! Just wait 'til they start sagging ... she'll be trippin' over them. LOL

Love & Light,
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 12/17/2005
Be like trying to suck on a beachball.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 12/17/2005
Holy booby moses can this be for real???

I am sure Ronny would love this!!

Those are back breakers....yukky!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Carolyn Red Bear (The Bear Paw) 12/17/2005
Ain't going to get around those...uhhhh.... words.... :' I wouldn't want to be the one wearing them....even if just for show... oh, the back pain....
In Spirit,
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 12/17/2005
Thanks for the mammoth mammary's.....
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 12/17/2005
I'm sending your name to Guiness as 'The Most Obsessed Man' in New Jersey. Look for your Certificate in the mail soon!
Reviewed by Steve Patterson 12/17/2005
just perhaps, you are booby trapped.

god, i ould hate to be on the bottom.
Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.